A parting meme from Ativan:

Shantel

Many, many thanks for this.  I had been debating whether to start a thread celebrating and thanking Ativan for their leadership, love and support of us over so many years.  Their profound and lengthy posts.  Never casual, never bullying, always thoughtful and well intentioned.

Indeed there are many of us who have had personal support from Ativan.  Never selfish, always selfless, their first instinct was to protect, support and to educate.  There were more than a few whose sanity, indeed life has been secured through their intervention and ongoing support.

I am still numb at the loss that lateral violence has caused our family. 

But Shan,  I had been hoping and still hope that they may find their way back to us, that they will work past the hurt that they felt and the criticism directed at them and rejoin our family.  We were much the richer for having known them and now feel the poorer with their absence.  They have forgiven attacks before and I earnestly hope that they find the strength and generosity to do so again.

Ativan,  wherever you are.  Thank you.

Safe travels

Aisla

Quote from: Shantel on October 10, 2014, 05:12:39 PM
A parting meme from Ativan:

For Shan

QuoteBlessed are those who make peace. They will be called God's children.

[/b]

Shan

Peky's point is a good one.  Ativan continually sought to build bridges and understanding.  Their patience and humour in the face of provocation was exemplary.  The only way to deal with lateral violence is to avoid anger and seek common ground.  In this and in many other things Ativan looked to protect and to educate.

Aisla

Ativan will most certainly be missed around here. I regret that I was nowhere near as familiar with them as many here were, but from what I did see, they seemed like someone I could have learned a great deal from. Hoping very much that they will eventually return.

I wish you all the best Ativan.
I know how much this place meant to you, and how much it must hurt to be away. I wish only the very best to you.

Their departure is such a great loss-wisdom is such a rare thing in the world, and they had it in abundance.

Ativan's presence and wisdom will be sorely missed. I hope they may be able to return again one day. I only knew them for a short time and there were misunderstandings but I still respect them very much as an individual.

I will now soar into the skies, spreading my wings wide, it is thanks to Ativan and many of you here who have helped me find the freedom within myself. I could not be more grateful.

Thank you, Ativan. Thank you, everyone.

I have no words to truly convey my feelings on the matter.

I will have so much to.say later about my close friend.  But I wish to say this, that we need to say how we feel and what we gained, and see the loss,, forget the other things, they do not bring joy.  What does ativan mean to you, what means the most to them.

Let's not focus on what tore them apart, it is dishonorable.  Focus please on the years of service and sacrifice they brought to us, unselfish, to the forest.

We have lost one of the wisest of the nonbinaries, let us have the greatest respect in kind.

Ativan my dear friend the tears fall again, but I know your heart. I have a glimpse nothing, more, but know you have changed so many lives, and mine is surely one of them.

Your legacy remains here, your impact immense, the mighty warrior of trans has moved on, even warriors must rest.

Heartfelt love my dear,

Satinjoy

Quote from: peky on October 11, 2014, 09:28:18 AM
my point is that the people who seek to at least embarrass and humiliate us... do not make, or care about, any difference between the so called binaries and non-binaries...

At then end of the day we all, who have GID, fall in one or another part of the spectrum... and so we are BROTHERS, SISTERS, PERSONS. united in pain and persecution... we ought to each other love and support, and patient with each other

Peky

Totally agree.  But the OP was about celebrating non-binary and the fact that most posts were celebrating  and acknowledging the contribution of Ativan, whose recent departure from the boards could have been avoided if their "love, support and patience with others" had been reciprocated.

Safe travels

Aisla

Quote from: Satinjoy on October 11, 2014, 11:27:56 AM
I will have so much to.say later about my close friend.  But I wish to say this, that we need to say how we feel and what we gained, and see the loss,, forget the other things, they do not bring joy.  What does ativan mean to you, what means the most to them.

Let's not focus on what tore them apart, it is dishonorable.  Focus please on the years of service and sacrifice they brought to us, unselfish, to the forest.

We have lost one of the wisest of the nonbinaries, let us have the greatest respect in kind.

Ativan my dear friend the tears fall again, but I know your heart. I have a glimpse nothing, more, but know you have changed so many lives, and mine is surely one of them.

Your legacy remains here, your impact immense, the mighty warrior of trans has moved on, even warriors must rest.

Heartfelt love my dear,

Satinjoy

SJ

Sorry I missed your post and agree that celebration of Ativan's contribution rather than recrimination is what is required and is in fact their due. 

Ativan was one of the first non binaries I met who shared so much of their journey, so much of their hard earned wisdom and so much of their time in the service of Trans.  Their outreach and proactive support of so many who were lost and struggling with identity, relationship and life in general was exemplary.  There are a number of us  who owe our very sanity and survival to Ativan's calm, insight and comfort.

'Warrior' is a great word.  Ativan fought for each one of us, for current and future non binaries that they might enjoy the same understanding and respect that all trans so rightly deserve.  While some misunderstood, none could criticise Ativan's intent and motivation.  From one  traveller to another, Ativan I salute and thank you for your service.

Safe travels

Aisla

When I first met Ativan on the then "Androgyny" forum while I was transitioning as MtF several years ago I thought they were a bona fide nut case, but as I began to read their lengthy commentaries I began to realize that they were working through a lot of their own anxieties and problems, but in the interim was bending over backwards to get the point across about non-binary. In the process I began to realize what a sage Ativan actually is and although I am probably the most unbending, headstrong, and least suggestible person on this entire website, I began to realize how I had been focused and moving in the wrong direction with my own transition and that I was in fact inherently non-binary to the core. It was such a pleasure to watch Ativan working through their own mental and emotional problems while at the same time unselfishly reaching out to help others. Ativan was and still is the backbone of this body and will always be most appreciated. They confided in me the hopes they had for others here to pick up the ball and run with it, because there are a few within these ranks that are also filled with a wisdom of their own and have exhibited fine leadership qualities.

ativan had reasons to leave which i respect.
i will welcome them back any day as a great friend and teacher.

anything else would be best to tell them personally, the form this thread has taken creeps me out.
it's not like they've departed from this world, why hold a memorial speech over someone who is still my friend, someone i can still tell in person how much i appreciate them.

Quote from: Taka on October 11, 2014, 01:35:59 PM
ativan had reasons to leave which i respect.
i will welcome them back any day as a great friend and teacher.

anything else would be best to tell them personally, the form this thread has taken creeps me out.
it's not like they've departed from this world, why hold a memorial speech over someone who is still my friend, someone i can still tell in person how much i appreciate them.

You'll notice that I talk about Ativan in the present tense, they are doing well and I am very much in touch with them.

Sorry if my post came across that way. It's just that I don't know Ativan personally, so now that they've left the forum, I probably won't see them again unless they return.

Quote from: Aisla on October 11, 2014, 11:33:44 AM
Peky

Totally agree.  But the OP was about celebrating non-binary and the fact that most posts were celebrating  and acknowledging the contribution of Ativan, whose recent departure from the boards could have been avoided if their "love, support and patience with others" had been reciprocated.

Safe travels

Aisla

Hi, Aisla,

My mistake, I failed to see Ativan's name above the bold letters... no disrespect intended...

Peky

PS I have remove the post as a sign of respect to all of you

ah, no worries pikachu and shan.
it only creeps out me, probably a personal thing.
found it weird to write about a friend like this.

the loss to the forum feels like more than that, more than a friend walking away from a support site.  This loss of their input and wisdom in here is a blow to this section.

Sorry about the creep out Taka. 

Yes I suppose there is hope of a return some day.   But I surely do not know that.

it's not a problem, just thought it would be better to be honest than let it seem like i don't care.

people will return if their reasons for doing so outweigh the reasons for staying away. it's happened in the past to other people.