you have it easier than me. i can't change to my preferred name because my step brother already uses it, and has since long before i was born. been called it once by mistake though, was a really nice feeling.
if the only reason for not changing your name is fear that your parents won't use it, i... kind of don't get why you wouldn't change. the fear is as logical or illogical as fear always is, not wanting to be hurt by your parents is also logical. but i know many who have broken ties with their parents or moved out when they finished compulsory education, because they were tired of the restraints parents tried to put on them, and they wanted to live their own lives instead.
i wish that my mother would care for me in a motherly way, and love me as who i am. she doesn't though, has no capability of that it seems. so i'll just have to give her flaws less importance in my life, and forgive her shortcomings while also not letting her keep hurting me forever.
you could try your preferred name with a few close friends, just to see if it fits, before you start changing it. you might make interesting discoveries.
one thing i don't get is how parents would have a hard time using a different name for their child. i have no problems calling my daughter her male name when she wants me to. i'll default by mistake, just the same as i call other people wrong names by mistake, but that's because she only rarely uses that name. habits are hard to quit, but also easy to create. calling someone their chosen name for a long enough time will make the new habit take over, and using the right name will become natural. there's nothing difficult about it at all, it only depends on the person's will to change.
