Hi everyone! After a little time with the Psychologist this weekend I am doing a little better now. Even with everything happening this weekend I have found new hope. Word got out that I was in trouble and the local trans community (people I have never really met because I belong to another group) turned out to help me in ways I can never repay. I got home from the hospital to find food in the house, gas in my Jeep and utilities which were about to be cutoff payed in full. On top of this there was money left for my Endo visit and HRT meds for tomorrow. To top it all off I received an offer to live with a Paramedic friend of mine who lives alone in a large house. There will be separate rooms for myself and my son until we can find something more permanent which she said don't rush to find. The best part is it is in the middle of the GLBT section of the city so I will be able to relax and not worry at all. To think I almost missed out on this show of kindness is indescribable. I know now that no matter how rough things get there is always hope and people who do care. This has taught me something very big and humbled me in a big way. Thank you to everyone who PMed me, E-mailed and called on the phone for your concern, compassion and efforts to make sure I lived to enjoy my life. I owe you more than I can repay! Thank you, thank you, thank you with a huge hug on top! 

I think the old, but improved me will be making a come back here very soon. Until then, I still love you all and think of you often. 

PS-How in the world can hospital Jell-O be tasteless? 

Yays! This is why we don't throw permanent solutions at temporary problems.

Hugs, Devlyn

That's great Jessica, and what a wonderful show of support. Take care. Hugs.

As I said, things happen when least expected.

That's why tomorrow is always more important then yesterday or today.

Hugs sis, your the best.

Hi Jessica.. 

I'm so happy to see you post again,
and know things are going so much better now.
Aren't friends wonderful.! Its so heartwarming
to hear how they helped you.
Yep, sometimes our darkest times turn into bright
new opportunities.!
Hope you're back soon when you feel 100%.
Hugs

Big hugs!!!  We love you, Jessica.

:-)
X

That's awesome!!!!

I just hate the part now where I have to be reminded what I usually tell people. You got me Devlyn, how many times have I said the same thing about permanent solution to temporary problems. Ugh, I am such a hypocrite! 

I am not quite back to full strength and things are still new and fragile, but I learned a lot this weekend. Things have been building for a while and I tried to play strong and act like it was not getting to me instead of just letting it out. I suppose we have all been there once or twice in our lives. I now know I have to let myself feel and not hold things in anymore. Just a holdover from my pre transition days, that's all. I learned some neat things to do when things become too much which are healthier ways of dealing. Part of my problem was not noticing just how into the red area I was. Hopefully I will have some skills to recognize that now and not let it explode and me freak out. It is just a learning experience. Thanks everyone! 

My god. I didn't even know you were going through anything Jessica. So sorry I missed it. But it is amazing how we can take are of ourselves and our own isn't it?

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 13, 2014, 02:34:43 PM
I just hate the part now where I have to be reminded what I usually tell people. You got me Devlyn, how many times have I said the same thing about permanent solution to temporary problems. Ugh, I am such a hypocrite! 

I think everyone is a hypocrite when it comes to giving advice and following our own advice. So don't feel so bad about that. That is just pretty much normal.

Quote from: Jess42 on October 13, 2014, 02:39:48 PM
I think everyone is a hypocrite when it comes to giving advice and following our own advice. So don't feel so bad about that. That is just pretty much normal.

I'm Normal? 

SQUEEEEEEELLLL!!!!! 

I'm glad to hear you doing much better. It's amazing how we fall back on old habits when things start to happen. Take care and Hugs.

Mariah

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 13, 2014, 02:34:43 PM
I just hate the part now where I have to be reminded what I usually tell people. You got me Devlyn, how many times have I said the same thing about permanent solution to temporary problems. Ugh, I am such a hypocrite! 

Well, I've been in that same boat so I can relate to that. Don't worry about it.

It's good to hear that you are feeling better, homeslice.

I'm not sure I'm completely following what's going on in your life but just wanted to say I felt touched by your story. I wish you strength and courage to deal with everything. Hugs!

Good news, Jessica -- I've been there, and I know how amazing it is to find out how many people really do care. You deserve it all, and more.

Love ya.

Hugs Jessica.

Never ever give up Sis

Glad to hear you are doing better.

I'm so glad that things are going better for you, Jessica..

Great show of support! Hope all goes well with the move and you enjoy the new, less stressful surroundings?

Thanks everyone!

The move has me almost feeling like a child on Christmas Eve! Exciting, anxious and not knowing what to expect or what will happen. It will be a whole new world with the last part of my old life gone forever. I almost feel like I am being reborn except correctly this time. I will say being a teen ager at 49 is kind of rough, but now I am developing like I SHOULD have! I am enjoying this confusing puberty much, much more!!