I'm trying without much success to sort my head out.
On some days things seem really clear. And then the clouds come back down again. I keep reading the forum for things to make me feel better. Hearing others' happy journeys and acceptance and self knowledge is a big thing. But there still seems to be so many dips and troughs.
Was so scared about one of the many kind, caring and positive voices from Susan's on Saturday. I thought she had done something awful. When the forum was down for the maintenance on Sunday morning I thought it was for a different reason. Happy so happy to realise that the site was in for maintenance and to see posts from the person.
Hope you are ok J.
Not sure what I want from this message. Maybe just the acknowledgement of how hard this all is and how short lived can happiness be. Ephemeral like a flower.
<3

Hugs

It is ok to feel low. Everyone gets depressed from time to time. It is only when you start to feel overwhelmed, that's when you need to reach out for help. As for Jessica she is doing better the darkness is starting to lift for her so she can actually see the sun again. Try to take joy in the fact that one of ours came back safe, it might help you find your own light.

Cassie, I am sorry I worried you, I really am. Truth is I scared myself even more. I have been low in the past, but not quite where every single thing was falling apart. What helped me out of it? The family here and a weekend of Therapy. The act of kindness from complete strangers this weekend also floored me. We have each other in good AND bad times. I invite you anytime to PM me if you need anything or want to know what you can expect. During transition we all go through puberty once again, but still have the pressures and concerns of parents, spouses, etc. It can get over whelming as I found out. Always know their is support here. I hope all the mistakes I make help someone out so they do not have to experience the same helplessness I did. Take care sweetie. 

Everyone needs the ability to know where there tipping point is and have that person or persons to reach out for help.

It can even be the safety of the ER or doctor.

But we all need it at all out stages, transition is hard in today's society but slowly getting better.

Hugs, day at a time.