I have a question regarding my recent experience:
I basically would like to know WHO my dad was referring to here...

Little background info for reference first:

(My dad's friend came to our home to fix a furniture in my room and I only met him once before a couple of years ago (my appearance was about the same back then too) but my brother(younger than me) never met him. )

He sees me while talking to my dad and asks "is that your son"? and greets me. (I show no sort emotion nor does my dad)Although I definitely heard him say something back in a mumbled voice but because it was so soft I couldn't tell>

So the guy eventually comes to my room to check it out while referring to me with male pronouns to my dad the entire time and asks me if my SISTER was the one who damaged it.

This is actually where my question lies:

Some time pass and downstairs in the living room and my dad and the guy are talking business stuff at the couch farther from me but I could clearly hear them.

I am just facing my table minding my business (pretending I don't even listen to them) and all of a sudden the guy asks "So who's older your daughter or your son?"

(3-4 seconds pass) and he says: "My (1 second pause) son" and then quickly changes the subject and asks a question to him.

From this information, I would like to know what you honestly make of this, meaning did he refer to me as his son (since the guy was already referring to me as 'he') or my brother (who is actually younger than me) as his son?

The only thing is that created this sister here is that my dad probably introduced me to him referring to me as his "daughter" that time so that's probably the only indication of this 'daughters' existence in the guy's mind?  (Or maybe back then he read me as a 'she)

your dad probably told his friend about both his son and his daughter before you ever knew about that friend.

so now your dad is wondering how to tell the friend that you are actually a girl, without lying about your age.
and trying to avoid the whole matter, by letting your brother take the place as younger daughter, and hoping that his friend and your brother will never meet.

seems he realizes he's made a mistake. would be easier to explain your room as you being gay.
if only he hadn't talked about you as a daughter first...

Thank you for the reply Taka. I want to talk to him about this but I wanted to post it here first because I don't want him to say that I am actually otherwise since he's going to have to come over again. I also wish he never referred me as his 'daughter' but instead as 'child' instead. My mom already almost never uses 'she' but instead keeps saying my name over and over again when referring to me which sounds awkward.


I could even tell from my dad's tone of voice that he was uncomfortable saying it hence the pauses. I was actually very shocked because he played it cool but I don't know what to say to him now. And yes, I need to make sure that he never meets my brother in person.

this might become a turning point for your dad, if you're lucky.
it's unfortunately difficult to hide some truths from people who often visit, it could become necessary to tell that you were the daughter for a while. awkward, uncomfortable, but you should prepare yourself just in case.

Quote from: Taka on October 17, 2014, 09:16:30 AM
this might become a turning point for your dad, if you're lucky.
it's unfortunately difficult to hide some truths from people who often visit, it could become necessary to tell that you were the daughter for a while. awkward, uncomfortable, but you should prepare yourself just in case.

Yep, it kind of sounds like acceptance is rearing its head in your family.  If so, you are one of the lucky ones, and so is your father.  Daughters hold a special place in the pantheon of a man's mind.  For him to move beyond that takes time and an enormous amount of love.   I wish you both joy,

Julie

No I wish that was an acceptance of him but such thing will never happen in my family or relatives.  It turns out that he 'corrected' the guy because when he came over today he referred me as ms.___   I knew it was too good to be true. 

so your father did that...
did you tell the guy off properly? or did you let it slide and just hide in your room or something?

No, I actually just came to my room now because tears are finally off my face. I already cry every single day anyways but today it took a few more hours for me to calm down. 

By the way, no I didn't say anything like I am not a ms. because he said it like it was nothing all naturally (not even embarrassed like he made that 'mistake')

I refuse to make any friends for this very reason.

I would like to just update here because I am now confused as to why that guy asked me today if I went to a 'BOYS club' in high school ...I was just telling him how introverted I was..