Brianna,

If you wish to blog your thoughts - which was the original intention of this thread, there is Blog Universe under Member's Blogs, created by Jamie D who wanted there to be a safe place for anyone to blog their thoughts.

Kind regards,

Jacey

yea thats kinda true. i got one tracked. there's actually nothing that i keep secret anymore. actually was trying to come up with something but instead i just wrote down the first thing that came to mind and from that just added on to the already. hmmmm

i'm not really looking for ways, i'm more interested in people.
they're so much more entertaining than common minions.

the question is now, why am i still here. my nature reveals all to me so there's nothing left for me to do here. no i dont mean life, i mean here with all of you. there is only children of the sun, those who bath under the sun's light. i am a moon child. under the sun, i will burn and turn to ash because the light of the sun isnt where i belong. i follow my nature for its only natural i do. i am not confused nor am i lost. i must be in my own natural envitonment or i will wither away and loss my way

moon child?
i like the moon. without it i feel lost.
if you wish to speak in terms of darkness, do i here.
please avoid the unicorn forest. unicorns don't seem to like too deep darkness.

i only learned some resistance to that relentless sun this last summer.
i prefer not to let it shine on me at all, but with an entire summer without a single rainy cloud in sight, not only did our well run dry early. i also builded up some resistance.

i like fires though. they light up the world so pleasantly.
when they're not the same fire which burns the sun.

unicorns only live in areas full of life and hope. once the life is gone and the skies become dark, the unicorn will try to find the sun or wither away. there is no darkness in me but i do dabble in the dark arts every now in than.  unfortunately being a true child of the moon, that being said, i wont be able to build up resistance to the light. once i step into the sun, its an instant desintegration. its not really lonely here. i do find some enjoy just watching from the shadows while everyone else plays and dances. natures change but for some of us, our natures are true thus we have to stay where we belong or we lose our way and disappear. going back to the dark, i found my footing so my nature is true to the dark. its fine with me though

hmm... so darkness is where you thrive?
that's ok, i have many dark friends. and light fiends.
i also sleep better in a dark room. and wear sunglasses even on cloudy days...

still, living in a place with over a month long day in the middle of summer, i couldn't really stay inside for that long.

tell me about your darkness though. i'm interested in knowing.

what is there to know though?

is your darkness so shallow that it hides nothing?
or are you hiding the lack of anything to hide, within that darkness of yours?

there's a whole lot to know. like who you really are.
i don't think you ever told that tale properly.
haven you hidden from yourself within that darkness?

my darkness is a place where i can be. where there are no differences.
where all are equal. all are protected by it.
i have to balance it though, as another part of me likes to play with fire and light up everything.
let the sun and moon shine upon my world, just to see that everything is just the way i've always known it is.

what is your darkness like?
it sounds violent to me.

i have a violent darkness within me.
chasing it away with light doesn't work, it only makes the shadows stronger.
instead i have to blend it with the soothing dark, until i can find some rest.
sleeping in the darkness, resting my mind. getting ready to face a new day out there in the light.
exposed to all the truths that never go away, but i am now strong enough to handle without running away.

there's nothing to know. i am an enigma and thats all there is to it. i understand myself, yet i dont understand myself and for good reason to. thats all there is to it. i'm a vampire so i should just act like one and stop denying my nature

okay, so you're a vampire.
but even vampires have more personality than "enigma".
at least the ones i know.

where do you come from, where are you going?
travel through darkness if you will. i will not bring the sun to shine in your forest.
but i'm still interested.

well those vampires die off becuz they are to easily figured out. where do i come from.....not really going to say. where i am going.....i'm a wanderer, i go everywhere. i dont stay in one place. i visit and than i leave.

you obviously don't know any of my vampires...
though i keep more kittens. they're cuter. fluffier.

so you're feeling mysterious these days?
that's interesting.
does teh mystery have any purpose?
other than confusing?

well thats for you to find out. solve the riddle and you shall know what i'm thinking. actually the answer is so obvious, no one seems to get it. i'm the monarch of vampires so i know every vampire. they cant hide from me, i know what they all do at all times lol

the devil king does not care for riddles.
thinks you should just say it straight out like a...
wait, you aren't a man...

hmm... i give up. women always were an odd kind of weakness of mine.

hahaha! but your not a demon though. well i thank you kind demon. to show my thanks, i will grant you one question and i shall answer. i'm sure your dying to ask me something. you made me realize something i missed.

mwahahahaha

okay, that made me laugh. you sound like you're trying to be a sphinx.
just with less knowledge.
me not being a demon... an interesting thought. i could try that if it pleases you, but i'll only pass as "good" to strangers.

so you feel like acting nice. one question then:
what did you miss but only realize now?

just how lonely i am. finally able to cry, its like an endless waterfall that just keeps coming l, and never stopping. finally after all these years of not being able to feel anything, its lije a white hot knife stabbing into your flesh and slowly twisting, forcing me to my knees begging pleading for the pain to stop or just end my life. being sufficated by my past, being sin-bound with no way for forgiveness. forcing me to look at myself through my shadows. realizing i'm just a human who is weak and pathetic and full of regret fear anger and bitterness, a true monster with only one purpose: to destroy everything that gets in my way. it hurts so badly that i just want the pain to stop but i cant, becuz i cant look backwards. i've becone broken, almost irrepairable. it sucks, it hurts. i always thought myself strong, i can take anything; completely bullet proof. i never listened, i slways done things my way, but now......idk. the puzzle is completed, the last piece fell into place and now i see what the picture is. i want to vanish, i want to disappear, but i cant. this is my reality. i've tried to escape it, hoping i can change my fate, but you can never change your fate nor can you change your destiny. there's no such thing as luck. why did i miss this, why didnt i see it. was i so stubborn. i just want to feel that i actually matter. i wake up cold and alone and i go to sleep at night crying. sry, i rambled. now you know how i really feel. they dont call it the dark forest for nothing

how much did you rape and pillage and massacre in your lifetime?
which sin did you commit that cannot be forgiven?
how many times did you plan a black mass for your neighbor? or actually hold one?

how many years have you been alone?
were you born into a life with no warmth from your parents?
have you never had a single friend, even for the shortest time?

do you know the feeling of love, even a twisted obsessing one?
do you imagine a hundred ways to kill when you see something attractive?
will you be doomed to hell just for being you, or is that just a fairy tale people told to control you?

let me get in your way. think you can destroy me?

i'm still alive, thats my sin. unfortunately someone doesnt want me dead yet so pity was taken