My brother seems to think everything is against him now.  What I mean is he is reading stuff into things I don't think is there.  He thinks is he gets a small portion at arestaurant they think he's a kid, if someone doesn't say sir they assume he's a female etc.. He is having a hard time with us slipping up on pronouns every once in a while but this is all new to us, to everyone and takes time.  I keep telling him he is seeing things that aren't there but he doesn't belive me.  It's liek how everyone thinks they are being stared at ina room but most likely noone is and are all thinking the same thing.  Will this die down soon?  Is he right or just paranoid?

I think most people go through this phase at some point in time.  I know I was acting very similar after I first went full-time.  Just try to help your brother ignore what other people are possibly thinking and just be happy with themselves.

Hi There:

Yes this in usual behaviour.  I am a member of another group and it is a common theme that significant others bring up and talk about.  It is hard to deal with and calls for you to remain calm and to keep reassuring the person that things are okay.  You have to make sure that you are listening to what the person is saying, though at times it may just be "venting", a need to get things off their chest.  It can be minefield at times as at times there is a deeper issue(s) at hand that the person knows about, but just cannot get out or just doesn't know how to handle them.  So the listening is important.  But one thing you have to make sure is that it doesn't get out of hand and  you get in the way of them trying to deal with some of their frustrations, and you become the brunt of their frustrations, that too is a common topic in my other group.  Sit down with him/her and talk about how to handle the frustrations.  Informing them that you want to work with them but that also means they have to work with you and your frustrations.  Together hopefully you will be able to solve the issues that you are both dealing with.  Keeping calm is an important key to the discussions.  I found that that sometimes it was the frustrations of having to deal with the bigger issues the hardest, dealing with the masses....so to speak.   Remember, it's one step at a time.  That in itself is difficult for the them to deal with as they want it all and they want it yesterday and want to know what's the problem with that.

Sounds like you are doing great though.  Talking/communication, staying calm and level headed is the key.  That said make sure that the person knows what you are feeling as well.  It's a two way street.

Gill

I think the feelings and confusions your brother is going through are normal and it should calm down some it takes a lot of reassuring and patience you have to be willing to talk about how he is feeling and to try and understand it as well. If he is real uncomfortable in public try going to places that aren't crowded for awhile and go from there as far as slipping up on words and pronouns that is something that everyone does even if they aren't new just remember everyone has fears some are easy to work through other fears take a little more time to get through

I agree that I think he'll calm down with time.... and positive reassurance *nods*

Yeah give him some time
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