Quote from: Edge on October 19, 2014, 01:29:04 PM
Honestly, sometimes I wonder if my aversion to things of mine being called effeminate is because then I feel like I'm expected to fit other "feminine" stereotypes like being gentle which I am very much not and have no wish to be and I'm expected to not be rough and aggressive which I very much am and wish to be.

Meanwhile, I (MAAB) am trying to be more gentle and less rough and aggressive.  I'm not sure whether it means we're both actually aiming for the same state (a better balance of gentleness and roughness), or if we're really just trying to swap positions.

BTW, my sympathies for your being subtly (or not so subtly) and pervasively pressured to fit into a particular gender box (coffin?)  At least, I think that's what you're talking about.  I feel the same sort of thing, it's just a different gender coffin in my case.

To off on a slight tangent: there are many kinds or aspects of "femininity," but there's some quality there that I so far have experienced only from women that I need to perceive in order to feel close to someone, and which I wish I could acquire for myself.  It's sort of like gentleness, sort of like "motherliness," or compassion, or empathy or something.  Or maybe it's just that I've been infected with cis-binary-compulsory heterosexuality and am just a misandrist, like the MRAs say.  I sometimes wonder if I  might ever experience this whatever-it-is with a man, and, if I did meet such a man, whether I would experience him as male and whether I would feel safe enough to be intimate with him (emotionally, not necessarily sexually but not necessarily not.)

Quote from: Pikachu on October 19, 2014, 02:12:40 PM
But I know my soul is female. That's all that truly matters, anyway. Everything else is just superficial, and I want people to see beyond it to the real me. Would it really make me feel better if everyone saw me as a woman, as I've always dreamed of, if the only reason they do is because of something physical?

All the different kinds of unique-horns in the unique-horn forest.

I'm kind of the other way around.  I don't even know what "my soul is female" means.  (Not that that is supposed to be your problem.) But I would like my body to look more female, simply because I find female bodies more attractive.  I've always felt ugly because I look so male  "Passing" would be convenient, too, but mainly because I imagine that it would mean that people wouldn't point and stare when I walk by.  (Or maybe it wouldn't -- a lot of people just seem to feel the need to point and stare.)

Well, it just means that's how I see myself. I consider myself very feminine at the core of my personality. My definition of femininity probably differs from many other people's definition, but it's what I consider feminine. Masculinity and femininity are very subjective, after all.

My take on gender rolls (sushi rolls are better) and gendered behaviour was always that they were rubbish. If you identify as being male, then anything you do is masculine, because it's you doing it. Society and people put too much value on them, it would be great if the world could just ditch all this gender roll nonsense and stop policing peoples gender identity based on their gender expression and how they behave.

I knew I liked it here So genderroles make no sense to me at all. Never did really, i was very lucky to grew up very free and I was allowed to play and dress however I wanted to. It seems that means that when I stepped into society I was really confused at all the rules :p

I'm sort of on board with Pikachu saying her soul is female but the other way around. I like the word man to describe myself, it sounds nice, so I use it. But I also don't belief personalities have to do with your gender. Any trait is seen in all genders, we just label it feminine or masculine because humans have this pesky habit to want to split things into categories.

I guess I'll just have to gain confidence (big problem for me sadly) in my gender the way I have in my sexuality. With that I just say: I'm attracted to things I find attractive :p Gets a lot of people really riled up when I refuse to label it, but I guess I've had more time to stick to that without doubting myself. With gender, I get dysphoria and it makes it easy to get me doubting. Luckily I do have some great people who accept me for what I am in my supportgroup (I'm going in kilt next time :p ). But well, comments get me down sometimes, even though those people don't even mean it badly. Altough the thing that'll really get to me is when other transgender people accidentally misgender me and then start naming reasons why it's normal they make that mistake (mostly: You're extremely feminine, work on this or that). I mean you can have a superlongbeard and tell me you're a girl and I'll call you she. That's how it works right? I might mess up but I won't make excuses for that. You say you're a girl, fine you are. You want me to use pronouns I've never heard of, sure why not? After all it's not my problem is it? Just a little effort to make you feel better, easy

I am going to stay around here I think I like how there's not much pressure here.
btw sorry for my english, it's not my native language, please correct me if I make big mistakes

Nataniel

This is a good place and you seem to be in a good place.  This is is a better place for you having come join us.

We are each on our journeys, actually I prefer 'quests' as it seems more noble, more heroic.  The signs are confusing and written in a language that we don't understand.  We don't have a map and in any case a map isn't really required as our journey inevitably leads us back to ourself.

Can we avoid this journey and just take a shortcut?  I don't think so.  The journey introduces you to fellow travellers, wise souls willing to share their perspectives and experience.  There is much benefit in the journey and much power in this community.

Safe travels

Aisla

Gender norms are just awful things, and you're right to have those feelings.  As it stands, you can't swing a dead cat in here without hitting a transmale who embraces some things considered "feminine," so you are hardly alone.

Whoever you are, you can be yourself here.

Quote from: NathanielM on October 19, 2014, 05:26:39 PM
I mean you can have a superlongbeard and tell me you're a girl and I'll call you she. That's how it works right?

yea, that's exactly how it works.
and luckily you and i aren't the only people who think this way.

i once adopted a guy as my little sister. online. on some interesting forums.
he said he always wanted to be a little sister, so why not.
so many found the mere thought disturbing or even disgusting, but at least i found one friend who simply accepted him as a little sister.
online family is real too, and the rules of offline society can be ignored as much as we want.