Hi everyone!
This will be pretty long and pretty rambling, and likely very offbeat. I just wanted to get most of it out in my own words.
How did I get here (starting transitioning, and to the forums) - I knew I wanted my body to match my brain 40 years ago, but I buried that and tried my best to not let anyone see or know about it.
30 years ago I told the first person, my best friend, how I felt. He said - get the operation. Due to other reasons it never came up again and I buried my feeling.
A month ago I broke down and told my gf ( now my ex, but we are still very good friends and she is helping me out with this ) and she begged me to do something about it.
Week 1 - So after my friend gave me the number to call for the Transgender Health Services Location X - THSLX( I was a bit of a mess ). I called, they said it will be 3 - 4 months, I said fine I have waited 40 years whats a few more months. So now I was on the waiting list and I was unbelievably excited, scared, anxious, and most of all relieved. I had finally started to lift the 40 year old monkey off my back. So now I have to wait and see if I really have GID or is it something else. Case 1 ( highly doubt it ) - No GID - then if my ex is still single then possibly we get back together again (she is awesome).
Case 2 - I have GID and I am doing something about it. This is one of the few situations in my life where I really do win either way. Not a win everything, but a good win either way.
Week 2 - Wait 3 - 4 months to start? What was I thinking? That was a classic blunder, like getting into a land war in Asia, or going against a Sicilian when death is on the line. Realizing my mistake I decided to start doing some serious research ( over the years I had done the "dream vacation" scenario regarding transitioning) so I thought I had a good idea of what was involved. The research i had done before compared to what i actually needed to do was like comparing boiling water to cooking a 7 course meal, with extra desert. I did find the first thing I need to do - find a therapist. So I started looking and got a recommendation, so I called, I did not get the warm fuzzies from the chat and also the earliest i could get in would be almost December. I searched for various transgender sites, did a bit of lurking and I liked the atmosphere here best, so I used it as my research base and started going through the posts.
Week 3 - I found the list of recommended therapists on the site and I called one. Started getting the warm fuzzies, then the therapists asks when i want to make an appointment, I said I am free next week. Therapist says " no you don't understand I want to see you tomorrow" ( big warm fuzzies
. Went to therapy, and that went very well. One of the first things the therapist said was " I will be transferring you over to THSLX to which I think I might have let slip an audible WOOT! Another thing that was asked of me was to get in contact with other people who are transitioning. I continue to lurk the forums, gaining the courage to post.
Wanting to jump right into things with zest and vigor, I also bought my first bra online, it did not fit. I have fairly large moobs and when I measured I rounded up. Bad idea - the cups fit .. my head, and I do not have a small noggin. I also found out that while lace is pretty in a bra, it is not very comfortable to wear. I then ordered my 2nd and 3rd bra online based on what i had learned and from talking to my ex about it. I did not round up, nor did I order lace.
Week 4 - Even more reading the forums, and refining my transition plan. Slowly starting to get glimpses of who I will become, but not even close to seeing the real me yet. Went shopping on the cheap with the ex ( dollar store and goodwill, also Halloween is the perfect time to shop ) - she kept teasing me by picking out all this sparkly glittery stuff. I am not quite there yet, still more of a solid color kind of person. I picked up a women's t-shirt, I liked blue and black as a male, but I like green as a female, that one sort of threw me for a loop. She helped me pick up some makeup and nail polish. I had to pick up a couple of things on the not so cheap, YIKES makeup is spendy, also lipstick does not taste very good. So also at the store was this black velour dress with a boob window that I totally fell in love with but it was too small for me at my current weight. So I did not buy it, but went back today to pick it up, it was gone 8( Next meeting with the therapist tomorrow, I am hoping to have the required number of sessions in by the time the THSLX calls back with an opening, so that I can hop on the HRT train as soon as I am able.
Th th th That's all for now folks!
Wait, one more thing
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https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866Ellie - If it ain't broke don't fix it. But if it is broke don't wait 40 years to start working on it.
