Since I have actual experience in "selling my story" I wanted to respond to the "Selling One's Story" thread, but since it's locked...

I have put my story out there in numerous ways, books, radio interviews, and featured on Discovery Channel, among other things. Prior to doing the Discovery show I was approached by the producers of 48 Hours who wanted to feature me in a 15 minute segment that would have supposedly chronicled my transition, pre-surgery, surgery and post-op. How they thought they could fit so much info into such a short period of time had me perplexed. When they asked me to move my surgery date up... to suit their schedule... I kindly declined their invitation. I took the Discovery offer because it was a 2-hour special, more reputable company, and they flew my ex to Montreal to be with me.

That show then aired from early 2005 through the next few years. I got recognized everywhere by all kinds of people, all of whom were surprisingly supportive. I did not get paid for the show, but it was valuable beyond money because of how many lives it touched. And that is the reason I have chosen to "sell my story" and be visible. I could have gone stealth, but I chose to stand for us.

It hasn't been easy though. I've gone through phases where I'd wished I had just gone stealth and to heck with being so visible. I wanted my privacy back. I didn't want everyone in the world to know I was trans, or to know my entire life story (too late! I already published a book about that, along with the show). But I am still at it and enjoying every minute of it.

I think the key is commitment. Do you want to be visible to the world so that you can make a difference, change people's perceptions of what being transgender is, and help those like yourself who are still struggling with this? Then by all means, do, but understand that it's not a decision to be taken lightly.

It's important to know that most legit shows will not pay you for your appearance. If someone offers you thousands of dollars for your story, you should be very wary of them. If you do choose to sell your story, YOU should be the one who defines the parameters and sells it. This is what I did with Discovery. I told them, "Hey, look. There's a certain way this is going to go. If it doesn't go the way I want it to, it isn't going to go at all." They accepted this demand and in the end my part of that show turned out exactly how I wanted it to.

Since I've committed myself to it, I've decided to stick with it until I'm done on this earth, or until the world doesn't need me to help them understand the transgender/transsexual/gender dysphoric condition anymore.

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My website: www.rightsideout.net

I saw your story on Discovery when it aired, and it helped me on my path to transition. Thank you for sharing.

So you didn't really "sell" your story per se, you traded your privacy and story in exchange for educating the public. Thank you.

Sounds like the OP of the other thread has the exact opposite of this in mind, that is, getting money in exchange for giving rights to her story to someone who would use it to try to further restrict access to treatment. She said so in the first post.

Sharing varied stories within the community is one thing, it helps people make educated choices to see that not everyone gets a procedure and is thrilled with it. But we don't need MORE hurdles to jump. What other medical condition comes with a so-called "rite of passage" to get appropriate treatment? Every other medical condition goes like so: suspect condition, test for condition, diagnose condition if present, patient receives information regarding treatment options and risks/benefits, patient makes an informed decision to consent to treatment(s) or not.
That last step is where personal responsibility comes in. Here's a procedure sometimes used in treatment for medical conditions, sometimes not - breast augmentation. Should it come with oodles of hoops to jump through just because some women regret having it done?

First of all, people like you who show the way to the rest of us are a blessing, and thank you for doing that. It's clear that money ("selling") was not your primary goal.

Secondly, I work in the public eye part-time as a freelance journalist, which means I've had a taste of it from a different angle : transitioning in place meant all my contacts knew, and it's still not that hard to draw a line between my current real name and my old work and then draw the obvious conclusion. It was scary as hell to be even that much under public scrutiny. Another thing I didn't realize early on is that it would affect my wife as well; she was scared that some of my old enemies (from past writing) would find us again. There's no way in hell I'd be willing to offer up my story for money alone; I'd have to be convinced that it would do some good for the trans community, as you were and have.

When I came out to my mother one of the the things she explicitly asked me not to do was go to the media about it. No worries about that, I'm a fairly private person with no interest in the spotlight. What she failed to comprehend though was that she already had a fairly good understanding of what is going on for trans people, what they go through, etc precisely because of articles she'd read in women's mags and seen on TV shows about brave trans people who had been prepared to share stories about their lives, their journey, their struggles.

Truth be told I think she was more worried that she'd be drawn into the whole thing since parents often feature in these stories. At that stage she had a lot of reservations about me transitioning, that has changed now so maybe she would be OK with me rocking around to the Women's Weekly... lol!

On a side note though, I wonder how long it will be before trans stories in the media become fairly passé?

Please let it be soon!

I think it's very important to raise awareness and educate people to raise trans visibility and acceptance but we also have to be tactful and take care to represent our community in the right way.

Unfortunately the media is more often than not just looking for a juicy story and will focus on things such as surgical procedures and try to provoke strong reactions from the audience. Now there are some trans people that will revel in this just like some cis people might revel in similar forms of attention but I would argue what is more important is showing us as the talented people we are but also as being trans.

Recent examples that I think are good:

Lana Wachowski is a talented screen writer and director.
Martine Aliana Rothblatt is a very successful business woman an CEO.
Kristin Beck is a highly decorated Navy Seal and trans advocate.
Laura Jane Grace is a very talented musician.

I'm not going to make a bad list but in my opinion people cashing in on fame/money on the basis of them being trans might actually hurt our cause more than it helps.

I think our goal isn't to stand apart by being trans but showing the world we are just as talented as everyone else and can succeed based on our own merits if we are given the chance and treated like everyone else.

Quote from: AnnahM on October 24, 2014, 05:54:23 PM
Do you want to be visible to the world so that you can make a difference, change people's perceptions of what being transgender is, and help those like yourself who are still struggling with this?

I transitioned in place and many people "know my story". I live in large metro area and to people who don't know me, I'm stealth and make no effort to out myself. But for hundreds of people, I am the first transgendered person they have ever met and I really make an effort to show them I am just another women they know. I can understand why some people need to live stealth and yes, being "out" does affect how some people view me, especially at first. But what I've found is: after they have been around me for a while, their perception of me changes. They have personal experience and can see "wow, she is just another woman I know". Since I went full time I became very involved in a local church, I am a respected leader there and actually ended up getting a job as the church administrator there. I feel my life has had a very positive impact on how hundreds of people now view what it means to be transgendered. I feel like I am doing something good with this curve ball that was thrown into my life.

I'm not telling other people it is wrong to be stealth, but I do hope others will follow my path, as this is how being trans will someday be accepted as a non-issue.  People knowing a transgender person first hand and up close to see this isn't just some weird, demented sexual fetish. That we simply want to live our lives and are as normal as anyone else they know. If every trans person just slips away into invisibility, the public will never have any personal experience to understand this. Note that the strides made in gay acceptance has come from: most people today know someone personally who is gay. If they had all remained "stealth", this acceptance would never have happened.

Thanks all, for your kind words and thoughts. Another thing that compelled me to "go for it" and not remain stealth and to take the leap of full disclosure, as it were, was the fact that I was becoming a well-known guitarist in Austin. The band I was in had no idea about me, but the realization occurred to me that if I were to somehow make it big as a female guitar player then eventually someone would figure out my past and have themselves a juicy story to share. That could have been great for publicity but I would not have been in control of the situation. And of course, being in control of the situation was pretty important to me.

In 2006 I published my first book about my journey, and have recently published another book of poems and songs I wrote throughout my life, much of which is trans-related. Granted, doing so is partially for monetary reasons, but only insofar as to cover the costs of writing and publishing. I don't really expect them to rocket to the New York Times Best Sellers list. The main point of the books is to get the story out there and to help folks out, be they trans or someone who needs to learn more. Book selling is a saturated market though these days, but my books are there anyways.

My guess is that, like so many other things that are fringe and mysterious, a point will come when most of society will be like, "Huh? Who? Oh? She's trans? That's nice. I had no idea. So, where did you want to go to lunch?" And it will literally be no big deal. It's a matter of education. Thank goodness for our Internet, otherwise no one would learn the truth. You surely can't find it in our schools.