Hello to you all at Susan's Place...

I have severe sleep issues that prevent me from getting the required quality, REM and proper sleep one needs for years, 25 ish...
As I am getting older 48, I find my sleep issues are worsening. I have tried CPAP, wasted $2000 on an oral mouth appliance and now my last and only option to opt for Mandibular surgery. This cuts upper and lower jaws and pull forward. This procedure in total is a about a 2.5 year process from start to finish and has many many possibilities of failure along the way.
Also my OHIP in Canada does not cover the first year of braces which in some cases could cost in excess of $7000. The surgery is covered under OHIP.
Part 2 of this is, there is a brand treatment in the US and of course it is very expensive, well over $35,000. My OHIP may cover the surgery, not any other expenses, ie: flights, food, lodging...
So I have met with a brand new sleep doctor who seems very willing to help me, FANTASTIC....

Ok now this is where the story today starts.... If any one knows anything about sleep, it is rather important to your WHOLE WELL BEING....
Since I have had over 25 years of sleep deprivation, it is now catching up to me. I can't work, my memory is failing, my motivation is hurting and my activity level is almost nill. 
My choices, desires and feelings are getting all jumbled.. I am second guessing what, who and what I want in my life...
I am not considering, to try and BE NORMAL, going off my hormones, which I think I might be "Addicted" used lightly, but having troubles deciding what to do with my life.

It is very very difficult for me with a weakened (I don't want to say mental state) but my decision making concerning my HRT is VERY and UTTERLY confusing. I don't know what to do??

I hope that I can get the funding from my OHIP for this new surgery and have a brand new start to my life. And be able to start LIVING LIFE!!!

I think I forgot to mention, I really at this point have no intentions of transitioning. I am doing this for peace of mind.

Would love to hear comments and opinions.

Luv Ginger...

Sleep is a constant issue for me, so my heart goes out to you. My overall mental health is fine except when I'm short of sleep. Then I become depressive. Past couple days have been really hard because, for some reason, sleep has eluded me.

I saw a psychologist for a year who tried various things. He managed to give me a better night sleep, but it wasn't easy.

And I don't have physical issues like you do.

Hugs, Ginger. I really hope you get what you need. The world looks a whole lot bleaker and more confusing without sleep. Good luck.