My little sister showed me a few things about makeup many, many years ago and for the rest, I just mostly wing it.

I think it's better to just be yourself & enjoy being feminine with everything you do. Maybe learn a little from girl friends, sisters, mothers, every woman you see & talk with, etc....

I learned makeup and hair from older sisters, as well as establishing a good fashion sense. They were rocking the 1960's and the mini-dress was in. Then came the bell-bottoms...    As I got older, I met others in my situation and honed my makeup skills along with dressing to impress and other fun things. Needless to say, I was my younger sisters role model (I have three older and five younger). To this day, they thank me for the skin care advice and their edgy fashion sense.

But now I wearable classy sensible clothes, but still rock the boots!

I've kind of done it in baby steps through out my life , its work in progress.  its amazing all the little things to learn just through observation like how to tie your hair up or where to put hair pins, but mostly I just try to do my own thing. except the uniform of the day seems to be leggings.

Hi Stephanie

It's an incredibly interesting question, really, because of the variety of ways we get to becoming the woman we need to be.  I see many pre-HRT women thinking that HRT will make the girl suddently come into being, and it's complete nonsense of course.

What surprised me was how natutrally and easily the girl started to emerge.  Yes, she needed help with voice and makeup and a push-start in the clothing department from mother, sister and friends, but overall she just kind-of came into existence.

There is no doubt that, for many of us, some behavioural issues do have to be learned - ways to hold our arms and hands, or one that I find particularly interesting - how women tend to move their bodies when jogging or running.

Hugs
Julia

Quote from: Auroramarianna on October 28, 2014, 02:58:05 PM
I really can't say I learned to be a woman yet, especially cause I'm not full time but even if I was, I don't think there's a "right" way to be a woman. Just many different ways.

Yes, but obviously there are basics that almost every woman is aware of, at least within the same culture. For voice, I have it naturally, mine never broke and IDK why. Makeup I still have to master, I know next to nothing, and when I put on it, I look like a clown, I feel soooo bad. It's a work in progress. For hair removal, I usually wax or pluck my facial hair, which is sparse thankfully.

I think my main problem is socialization. I am trying to cope with my friends leavin me, or not really wanting me in their lives, so i'm going to stop contacting them for good. But honestly I feel so alone sometimes I want to cry. I really want to have more girlfriends, but I don't. So it's socialization that's my main problem. I'm not socialized m uch as a boy either, cause I was never part or fit in with "the guys".

Hey Aurora

Your first point:  absolutely right and well observed

Your second point:  it may feel a bit awkward now to have the voice you do, but you already know how lucky you will be going forward with it.  As for the makeup, as The Girl evolves, so will the makeup.

Your third point:  you've taken the big step to move on, and the friends will come.  Hell, you've got plenty of them here already.

For an 18-year old, I remain permanently impressed by your insight and maturity.

Biiiig hugs.
A/J

Here's some good news ladies, thanks to the miracle of neuro-plasticity just living and being treated as female will socialise you as female. This even works if you were a grrrr! Manly man! Kind of of man, because any socialisation will be over written.

This is why having people in your life who respect your gender identity and treat you in line with that identity.

Quote from: Dread_Faery on October 28, 2014, 06:40:40 PM

This is why having people in your life who respect your gender identity and treat you in line with that identity.

and it can be difficult still living with peoples who dont .

Regarding the body language, manners and all that, I just stopped doing it wrong - makeup and fashion I did the same as all teenagers do, got myself some teenage magazines and they had tons of fashion and makeup tips in them. I guess today this would mean youtube and ehow or something like that . I was in my early 20ies but basically went back 8 years or so and became a teen girl again. I was lucky - I sometimes did not even look >20yo but rather teen-like, was asked for my ID a lot

Quote from: Handy on October 28, 2014, 12:38:26 PM
I just do everything I wanted to do/always did, only now without soul crushing shame and with an added sense of personal well being/inner contentment/peace with my body.

Ditto... as a matter of fact I had to learn the boy mannerism so as to stop the harassment and beatings... I continue the farce until recently...

Just be yourself. I lived long enough pretending... who wants to continue pretending to be something they are not?

For me a lot of things just popped up when I stopped hiding them, others I had to work on and I'm still working on some of them.

Interestingly enough my Mom actually prepared me well because she was very adamant about proper etiquette having attended a finishing school for girls, I don't think she realized that much of it was mostly targeted towards ladies so she raised me to walk, eat and socialize like a girl without realizing it

Fashion is a non issue, always had an eye for fashion, been helping my girlfriend with her wardrobe since we met and went shopping with my girlfriends when I was younger.

Make-up took a couple of weeks on Youtube and some practise, it's all about details and realizing which things to emphasize and hide, some technique but that's just practise and a steady hand.

Movement and walk came very naturally, just a bit of deprogramming and I started gliding.

Voice is the hardest, people used to tell me my voice had a feminine quality but getting everything in line takes a lot of practise and work, there are some tricks that can be used but I don't want to sound nasal or like I have a lisp.

I guess this is where coming out at a young age really helps.
Its all I really know. There's no way I could do many things that men pick up as they're growing up. The fact that I never even shaved my face is a example.
For make up my mum helped at first with basic stuff, my friends &  cousins showed me better techniques and even to this day, all these years later I'm still learning new things from YouTube with make up.
Fashion changes so much in a month that you need to really pay attention to sadly magazines like Cosmo. See what people your age are wearing, listen & watch out for trends and enjoy fashion.
Body language I think it's key to relax, do what comes naturally and you'll be right

I'm learning it on the job! 

Seriously, most every bit of this was learned the hard way with no help whatsoever - dress, makeup, mannerisms, how to converse, and how to walk and move. The only thing I had help with is my voice (and today I wasn't paying enough attention to my voice on the phone and I got sirred  - whoops! gotta not do that.....).

My mom had very good fashion sense and I think some of that rubbed off on me; I tend toward dressing nicely and my eye is drawn to elegant clothing even if my finances say "no". Makeup was purely trial and error and lots of clown looking effects in the early days. All of the rest of it seems to come naturally to me now that pretend dude mode is gone.

If you are just launching out into these waters keep you eyes and ears open and observe, observe, observe and really listen to and learn from other women, and take notice of clothing styles on other women you see that you like. It makes it easier when you take the plunge.

On a serious note, don't learn to be a woman, learn to be you. The cissexist, hetronormative patriarchy treats women as objects and second class citizens. Do what ever the hell you want and laugh in the face of anyone who tells you it's not feminine. Behaviour is only gendered because the world tells us it is, same goes for jobs, pastimes and activities.

I was always a very prim and ladylike child - it was unsuppressable.  I had a number of periods in my life where I tried to "butch it up," with my last hurrah being between ages 40-42 when I grew a beard and consciously started thinking about how I sat, my speech patterns, pitch etc. to be more like a guy.  It was pretty laughable and very phony.  No one was fooled in the slightest.  People always assumed I was gay (I publicly identified as such).  I would have people tell me that I was very feminine but not queeny or effeminATE.  Usually with a very puzzled look on their faces. 

When I decided to transition, all my mannerisms and postures and gestures and voice just HAPPENED.  More like a kind of letting go than forcing something to occur.  I do try to be conscious of my voice though.  I always got gendered female on the phone, but somehow it sounds different and more androgynous in person.  I have to think to modulate the pitch upward and keep the resonance in my chest.  I hope that part becomes automatic.  I also think sometimes I handle certain social situations in a male way because I was conditioned to.  I shook a guy's hand very firmly the other day and later overheard him say, "Dang, that girl's really nice but I bet she kicks some ass."

The only things I "learnt" were cosmetic-related things, such as makeup/fashion etc - which I learned like any other cis woman, through experience and asking family/friends.

Apart from that I didn't "learn" anything else - many people say I have a very feminine persona down to the smallest mannerisms. I don't consider myself to be consciously doing anything towards that, I'm just doing what comes naturally, which I encourage anyone to do - and of course it's perfectly fine to be masculine or otherwise non-typically feminine too.

However, I transitioned quite young, so perhaps I didn't have decades of socialisation as an adult male which would have complicated matters.

You have to learn to be a woman D:? Omehgawd.. what if I fail > ____ <.

My best friend who is  a cis-woman.. she taught me how to apply make-up, walk in heels, how to style outfits and how to sit like a woman..

the rest, i taught myself... by mostly observing other woman and how they interact with each other.

Quote from: Kirey on October 29, 2014, 12:04:03 PM
You have to learn to be a woman D:? Omehgawd.. what if I fail > ____ <.

Relax girlfriend.... it just kind-of happens.  But yes, you do become sensitised to certain things - how women speak, how they interact with men and each other.  It's not so difficult, although like anything worthwhile, it does require a bit of effort.  And then it becomes natural...