Mirror Mirror on the wall
who is the ugliest girl of all
I look, I cry, I bow my head
most of the time i wish i was dead...

This reflection that has haunted me
is the reflection of REALITY
When I see me its always the same
this reflection and no one to blame...

I fight this curse day and night
come the end, is the light
that takes me to that special place
where no one can see my face...

I know inside me is this beautiful soul
that no reflection will ever show
I look, I cry, I bow my head
this time I really wish I was dead...

AJ

Before anyone says anything, im not going to kill myself - a good friend made a suggestion to document my transformation. well being an artist, i wish to document my transformation with poems, photos will capture the changes in still images, but poems can document the feelings i will be going through.

right now this is how i feel about myself.

for years the one thing that has been on my mind more than anything is to KILL ALLEN, thats right kill Allen and let AJ Live. he needs to die and im going to kill his happy arse and cut off his balls. LOL

THX for reading XOXO...

PS - i will be adding new poems for each month on this thread, i start my hrt in a couple weeks...

Hang in there!  One of the first things that happened to me after HRT was the calming mental effects, followed by happiness and hope.

It felt like aspects of my former self were still trying to squash my femininity until 2 hours after my first dose of estrogen.  Then it was over.  I know your mileage may vary, and no two people seem to react the same to HRT, but please keep remiding yourself that a solution to this issue is imminent.  You have put up with this crap for your entire life, so 2 more weeks in the grand scheme of things is small. 

Eyes on the prize!  We are survivors.

Hugs,
Jill

I hope at some stage you can give us a sequel to the above..."Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful of all...I know it's me but I thought I'd ask anyway!" or "Mirror mirror I don't give a crap what you think!"

I feel the same way sometimes. I will never be rid of the facial hair without dumping a ton of $ and [emoji538] plus I have this damn jaw and wide shoulders. But I haven't started HRT yet so I'm not worried yet.

Quote from: Ms Grace on October 29, 2014, 03:45:56 PM
I hope at some stage you can give us a sequel to the above..."Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful of all...I know it's me but I thought I'd ask anyway!" or "Mirror mirror I don't give a crap what you think!"

I think I have Robitussin coming out my nose now.  LOL

Oh well, at least I can look at myself in a mirror now.

Quote from: Ms Grace on October 29, 2014, 03:45:56 PM
or "Mirror mirror I don't give a crap what you think!"

This would be a much better poem as it would show you are feeling better right now.

Hang in there.  As Jill said "Eyes on the prize!"


Erin

[I try to NOT look in mirrors...]

Thank You everyone, right now im like a roller coaster with my hair on fire, im up im down and the changes happens so quickly.

but as i get started i will capture my feelings good or bad in these poems

it would be interesting to look back one day and see how my feelings have changed through out the transition...

Quote from: Alaena_okc on October 30, 2014, 07:24:16 AM
Thank You everyone, right now im like a roller coaster with my hair on fire, im up im down and the changes happens so quickly.

I know that feeling, it will pass, sooner or later but it will, hang in there girl.