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Im Coming Out

Started by Alaena_okc, October 30, 2014, 01:14:39 PM

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Alaena_okc

Today this day of October 30, 2014, i have just announced to everyone i work with, EV friends around the world, the friends who doesnt know, but they do now that im Transgendered...

you can watch the fire storm happening on my facebook page if it is allowed to give out this address...

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004112479116

XOXO Huggs :)
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ImagineKate

The post isn't public but I can imagine.

Good luck to you. You are very brave... My plan is to nuke my facebook and start over from scratch or kill my facebook entirely. I'm on it way too much and I've been on it since college, around 2004 or so.
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Mark3

I don't see what to read.? Is there a certain post.?

Oh, I love your page.! Just added you.
"The soul is beyond male and female as it is beyond life and death."
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Alexis2107

Quote from: ImagineKate on October 30, 2014, 01:25:24 PM
The post isn't public but I can imagine.

Good luck to you. You are very brave... My plan is to nuke my facebook and start over from scratch or kill my facebook entirely. I'm on it way too much and I've been on it since college, around 2004 or so.

Yeah I already killed my old life facebook page.  Although, I am still in my old life and nobody knows about me being TG, I really don't use facebook anyways. 
~ Lexi ~

HRT 11/5/14
Full Time woman 3/12/15
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elize

I am out too, here was my steps,
1 self, 2 online boards, 3 counselors and doctor, 4 tg group, 5 friends, 6 family, 7 FB and everywhere :)
I started full time about step 5
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stephaniec

I need to replace my Facebook picture with my true picture
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Alaena_okc

im sorry i thought you could, i forgot to turn the public viewing on, i'll have that done tomorrow...

;) first of all what i did was erupted to everyone and in every way i could, to announce that i am a transgendered female to my friends at work and to my EV friends that i know, that are all over the world and fb helped me to do that...

i also personally walk around the shop and offices and told my commrads that i am a transgendered women and that i am going to transition...

some already knew, they were the ones who was most shocked... LOL

as for my EV friends, they are all behind me, meaning they are giving me their support...

my friends, already knew...

my commrads at work, they all know now too, so far the reactions has been awkwardly humorous, but if feel a lot of them will support me as well, i havent seen everyone yet afterwards, so i will keep you all informed as to what happens... 

my bosses, already knew, but was still shocked but they are behind me too...

i only had one person, who i never would of thought he would think that way, but it was more like ,,,whats going on with me is devils work,,,

what ever :(

all that happened on my two fb pages, the one i have for alaena, and the one i have for allen, so far my allen friends are now with me alaena...

like i promised, i was going to kill allen, he is now officially dead, and alaena can now officially live...

what am i feeling, im writing a poem about today.
XOXO Huggs :)
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Alaena_okc

XOXO Huggs :)
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suzifrommd

Just for you:



Though as a favor to your friends, change your settings so that your friends list is private. The whole world can now see who your friends are.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Alaena_okc

Thank You Suzi,

so far so good today, plenty have came to me telling me that they are behind me - the rest are pretty much still thinking what to do about me LOL...

and of course a ton of questions...

But the main thing is, and i feel it deeply, IM FREE TO BE ME, was that too loud?
XOXO Huggs :)
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MelissaAnn

As far as I'm concerned you can say it as loud as you like, you have earned it. Be free and fly my butterfly. I'm planing to do the same after the first of the year. I'm finding every step I take to be very liberating. Life is opening up to me now what a great feeling it is. I wish nothing but the best for you. Have a safe and wonderful journey. May the angles always be looking after you...!

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

Alaena_okc

i need to do a update as to what has been going with my coming out, in case no one is following my FB page...

Well i got to say first of all, i work with some of the best people in the world - my bosses talked to me about it and they are behind me 100 percent, my commrads in the shop have awesome as well, they are behind me 100 percent, the salesmen i work with are behind me 100 percent...

my EV friends from all over the world is behind me a 100 percent...

my friends of course are too...

im so happy and proud of who i am, i made bumper stickers that says it clearly "Transgendered and Proud"...

so all in all, all those fears of coming out was for nothing, i could of had a happier life starting a long long time ago...

my hope is that every other Transgendered person gets the chance to have support from some wonderful people like i do, its hard to explain how i actually feel, but no more shackles...

i noticed one other thing after coming out, this deep depression i felt especially at a time when i should be very happy the other day. i hit me when the the people i work with starting calling me by my choosen name Alaena... i think i finally sank in that i am now Alaena for true and Allen is gone forever, i think i really felt that i was going to miss him cause he no longer exist, and i will bury him when i legally change my name to Alaena Lee James...

so with that said - i want to say, Good Bye Allen, i will miss you, and at the same time I Alaena is happy to finally be free and out of the shadows...

and how do i show photos here?
XOXO Huggs :)
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Steph34

Quote from: MelissaAnn on October 31, 2014, 01:42:20 PM
As far as I'm concerned you can say it as loud as you like, you have earned it. Be free and fly my butterfly. I'm planing to do the same after the first of the year. I'm finding every step I take to be very liberating. Life is opening up to me now what a great feeling it is. I wish nothing but the best for you. Have a safe and wonderful journey.

I agree and hope all goes well for both of you. I am planning to come out myself on January 5th after starting a hormone just over 2 months ago.
With that said, fear of rejection can be overwhelming - especially in my case, which involves financial dependence on a hateful family member. I fear for my money, my home, even my life. I find it comforting to know that there are other people, somewhere out there, who are also starting to live the life they were meant for.
Accepted i was transgender December 2008
Started HRT Summer 2014
Name Change Winter 2017
Never underestimate the power of estradiol or the people who have it.
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Alaena_okc

sounds like the same fear we all go through Steph... im not going to suggest you come out in your situation, because i dont know your situation...

but i will tell you this hun, you need to start setting yourself up to where you can be independent when the time comes, cause if your doing the HRT, eventually it will show, or you will do like i did the first time and scare yourself out of continuing your transition, which i hope you dont do, you need to continue your transition...

i will also mention, its different to feel this kinda of freedom, i love it so much i have a bumper sticker on my truck that says transgendered and proud... i never would of done that or even begun to think that last year...

but please keep us informed, hugs to you sister :)
XOXO Huggs :)
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Steph34

I noticed some very real physical changes during the first six weeks of the HRT, but it feels so good to finally improve my appearance that I can live with any fears that come with it. The HRT works wonders for stress control. My fear is that if I don't come out, the aforementioned family member might think I am deficient in protein or have some weird tumor or something. Alternatively, he might be concerned about me being bullied for looking feminine. In any such case, I could be subject to unwanted masculinizing intervention even if I never say a word. This family member has tried to do that before and coming out is the only way to make my interests known. That is why I feel so strongly about coming out. Well, it would also be quite refreshing to dress better at home. Clothing makes a big difference for self-esteem, too, and I tire of having to wear stuff that makes me look ugly. I do have enough saved money (not given by my family) that I can live without financial assistance until I find a job, so the only reason for me not to come out would be safety. Honestly, though, nothing threatens my safety like having to live someone else's life. Hormonal balance is very important for hair maintenance, and there is nothing I wouldn't do to save my hair. Have a nice day; we all deserve one.
Accepted i was transgender December 2008
Started HRT Summer 2014
Name Change Winter 2017
Never underestimate the power of estradiol or the people who have it.
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Alaena_okc

WOW Steph, sounds like me in 07, my thought was to let only a certain few know, and at the time i was good with that. i was doing the HRT then and my thought was to transition and let the rest figure it out on their own, which turned out to be a bad choice, because i let the fear of them finding out cause me to quit taking the hormones...

this time they all know now, and i can change now, so if they dont like it, they cant say they wasnt warned - not to mention that now i have the confidence to continue because they all know and i can experiment with what looks good at work and i can climb away from the unisex look and move onto the my feminine appearance...

its still a little weird to me to be called by my name Alaena at work, but its all part of getting used too, which i will - cause now i can go home with a smile feeling like i can conquer the world if i want...

i hope you find the courage sugar to come out and be free, if not i understand and will not blame anyone who hasnt, because i know it is a true fear, and i had to overcome that to blurt out who i really am, and now im sad because i didnt do it sooner, all those years i wasted is what angers me about me...

so now i have to start all over again, this time with full support, and i cant beat that, ever... :)
XOXO Huggs :)
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Steph34

I had false hopes before, too. It was 2008-2009 and I had suicidal ideation, so upset with having to live in someone else's body. I sought help online. Before I got any further, however, I let fear get in the way, and now I am so bitterly disappointed at the thought of what could have been.

This time is different, though. I have more money and less hair. I have invested thousands of dollars of my own money and countless hours in my transition, time and money that would be lost forever if I backed down. Since starting the HRT, my mood and appearance have improved. Ever since high school, I always felt like something was missing in my life, something without which I would forever be miserable. Now I know what that something was: estradiol. For the first time in my adult life, I do not hate myself and I actually take possession of my body instead of looking in the mirror and thinking "Who is this monster?" This is a feeling I can't let anyone take away from me, even if I have to put my safety on the line. As I become the person I always wanted to be, it gets progressively harder to hide it all - which is perhaps the reason for my presence here, somewhere I can be myself and be appreciated for it rather than threatened. Coming out is inevitable, though. I do fear that the family member's gut reaction might be to give me a mega-dose of steroids or some other unspeakable horror to stop me from being feminine. There are, however, risks in everything. Once I come out, I can finally be myself. These last 56 days until I come out will be the longest 8 weeks of my life. I see no future for myself in the shadows.

Name has likewise been a sensitive matter to me. I was so accustomed to my given name that I continued to use it despite not identifying with the gender it implies. When a therapist actually started calling me Steph, I had to think for a second, before it occurred to me, this person sees me for who I am. It feels so good when people recognize me as female that I can't help smiling, even if they think I am strange. Anyway, I think I will go by "Stephanie" in the future; the truncated name I use now signifies a state of incompleteness.
Accepted i was transgender December 2008
Started HRT Summer 2014
Name Change Winter 2017
Never underestimate the power of estradiol or the people who have it.
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Alaena_okc

well then WELCOME Stephanie
:)
XOXO Huggs :)
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