What does she mean?

Brandon · October 30, 2014, 07:53:08 PM

I have been friends and talking to the same girl since last Janurary and everytime I give her a hug she will playfully say no because I am mean to her and then ill put my arms around her anyways and she will smile. Know I am really nice and I am gentlemen and she's told me that herself so what does it mean when a girl says your mean playfully.

invisiblemonsters · October 30, 2014, 08:34:36 PM

that's just the way some girls flirt/joke around. it is just one of those things to get attention like to make you "prove" you aren't mean by hugging her more or something, you know?

Brandon · October 30, 2014, 09:10:41 PM

What about her friends laughing and pointing at her when I walk with her and her pointing and laughing back?

Bimmer Guy · October 30, 2014, 09:13:39 PM

Quote from: Brandon on October 30, 2014, 09:10:41 PM
What about her friends laughing and pointing at her when I walk with her and her pointing and laughing back?

Not sure. Why haven't you asked her out yet, if you have been talking with her/liked her since January? I remember you talking about her all the way back then.

Brandon · October 30, 2014, 09:21:26 PM

Quote from: That lad Ricky on October 30, 2014, 09:18:01 PM
I agree with invisible monsters,
That sounds to me like flirting and she could have possibly confided in her friends about the way she may feel about you,
Hence the giggling/pointing etc its like an inside joke if you get where I'm coming from

Thats what I was thinking but I was a little unsure.

Gothic Dandy · October 30, 2014, 11:07:50 PM

Quote from: Brandon on October 30, 2014, 07:53:08 PM
I have been friends and talking to the same girl since last Janurary and everytime I give her a hug she will playfully say no because I am mean to her and then ill put my arms around her anyways and she will smile. Know I am really nice and I am gentlemen and she's told me that herself so what does it mean when a girl says your mean playfully.

The girls I know would do that if they think you really are mean, but are afraid of hurting your feelings. Girls are so confusing!

Brandon · October 31, 2014, 02:18:44 AM

Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on October 30, 2014, 11:07:50 PM
The girls I know would do that if they think you really are mean, but are afraid of hurting your feelings. Girls are so confusing!

Nah because she knows I am not mean and she specifically told me I just right think she's possibly flirting because its alalways with a smile on her face.

pianoforte · October 31, 2014, 12:53:03 PM

Next time she acts like she doesn't want a hug just be like, "okay, I respect your boundaries" And don't hug her. See if she seems disappointed, or makes a move on you instead.

It seems like she is flirting, that might confirm it for you... or asking her out might work too.

KamTheMan · October 31, 2014, 12:59:57 PM

I was in a similar situation with a girl last winter. She was always saying how mean I am to her, etc. We ended up hooking up for two weeks before she had to fly home to South America. It sounds to me like she's into you and her friends are aware.

blink · October 31, 2014, 01:22:56 PM

Quote from: pianoforte on October 31, 2014, 12:53:03 PM
Next time she acts like she doesn't want a hug just be like, "okay, I respect your boundaries" And don't hug her.

This is good.
"No" is supposed to mean "no". If she's using "no" to flirt, that's kind of disturbing. Personally I'd rather err on the side of caution and not touch somebody if they've indicated they don't want to be touched. If they didn't really mean it, they need to learn to not say crap they don't mean, it muddles things up.

aleon515 · October 31, 2014, 01:39:52 PM

I agree with Blink. I am very adamant about no meaning no. But she might be playing with you, which you could test by saying "no means no, I agree with that, is that what you want?" You can say this with a nice tone. Perhaps she doesn't actually realize that she is doing what is kind of a game.

--Jay

Quote from: blink on October 31, 2014, 01:22:56 PM
This is good.
"No" is supposed to mean "no". If she's using "no" to flirt, that's kind of disturbing. Personally I'd rather err on the side of caution and not touch somebody if they've indicated they don't want to be touched. If they didn't really mean it, they need to learn to not say crap they don't mean, it muddles things up.

Brandon · October 31, 2014, 02:18:58 PM

Quote from: blink on October 31, 2014, 01:22:56 PM
This is good.
"No" is supposed to mean "no". If she's using "no" to flirt, that's kind of disturbing. Personally I'd rather err on the side of caution and not touch somebody if they've indicated they don't want to be touched. If they didn't really mean it, they need to learn to not say crap they don't mean, it muddles things up.

Nah not if your flirting and by the look on her face I am sure she was playing she had a smile on her face even when I gave her hug she smiled again and kept saying isn't he mean to me to our other friend.

Brandon · October 31, 2014, 02:20:28 PM

Quote from: aleon515 on October 31, 2014, 01:39:52 PM
I agree with Blink. I am very adamant about no meaning no. But she might be playing with you, which you could test by saying "no means no, I agree with that, is that what you want?" You can say this with a nice tone. Perhaps she doesn't actually realize that she is doing what is kind of a game.

--Jay

I mean if your playing around its different though I just say she's mean back and she will smile back.

Alexthecat · October 31, 2014, 03:00:14 PM

I'd nip that saying 'no' when she doesn't mean it in the butt. If you get more involved in the naked sense and she says 'no' it might not be taken as such. Even if it isn't with you and it's another guy it can lead her into some bad situations.

Brandon · October 31, 2014, 03:08:55 PM

Quote from: Alexthecat on October 31, 2014, 03:00:14 PM
I'd nip that saying 'no' when she doesn't mean it in the butt. If you get more involved in the naked sense and she says 'no' it might not be taken as such. Even if it isn't with you and it's another guy it can lead her into some bad situations.

Well she says no because I am mean to her but in a joking laughing matter and she is single you guys are reading to much into it I think.

blink · October 31, 2014, 03:29:52 PM

Quote from: Alexthecat on October 31, 2014, 03:00:14 PM
I'd nip that saying 'no' when she doesn't mean it in the butt. If you get more involved in the naked sense and she says 'no' it might not be taken as such. Even if it isn't with you and it's another guy it can lead her into some bad situations.

This. It sets a terrible precedent for people to say 'no' to play coy or whatever. Someone saying 'no' to being touched is a messed up way of flirting.

Brandon · October 31, 2014, 03:30:53 PM

Quote from: KamTheMan on October 31, 2014, 12:59:57 PM
I was in a similar situation with a girl last winter. She was always saying how mean I am to her, etc. We ended up hooking up for two weeks before she had to fly home to South America. It sounds to me like she's into you and her friends are aware.

Its kinda what it sounds like to me.

Brandon · October 31, 2014, 07:15:44 PM

Quote from: blink on October 31, 2014, 03:29:52 PM
This. It sets a terrible precedent for people to say 'no' to play coy or whatever. Someone saying 'no' to being touched is a messed up way of flirting.

Nah I do it sometimes, Its just playing around in a flirty matter its not that serious because she says it with a smile.

blink · October 31, 2014, 07:24:21 PM

Quote from: Brandon on October 31, 2014, 07:15:44 PM

Nah I do it sometimes, Its just playing around in a flirty matter its not that serious because she says it with a smile.

Brandon, saying you do it, or anyone else does it, doesn't make it any less messed up. It just means more people are doing something that is messed up.

When someone says "no" when they don't mean "no", and the other person goes along with the whole "coy", "hard to get", whatever you wanna call it game, it contributes to a culture where it's sometimes considered acceptable to touch somebody after they said no.

Ms Grace · October 31, 2014, 07:29:38 PM

Brandon, you're asking people "what does she mean?", you get some very spot on advice and then say, "nah, it's not that, she's just playing around". You either know or you don't, why bother asking if you don't want to know what others have to offer? I'm locking this thread because I'm seeing it is likely to become pointlessly circular.

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What does she mean?