First I want to thank all who responded to my how hrt affects the mind post. It helped a lot. I can't say how much it helped, or maybe I can. I talked to my wife. One of the most stressful talks I have ever had with the her. Way easier telling her I was trans. I am blessed having her. After all this she is still here with no plans on leaving in the near future as long as we continue with being open and honest. She has been to the therapist with me and on her own a few times over this last year. So I am truly blessed.

After our talk. I got the green light to call the hormone doctor and I have an appointment this Wednesday. My wife's one rule right now is lowest dose needed for my mind to work correctly.

So I have the green light and I am going in for a consultation. And now I am feeling like, what the heck am I doing? Like now I don't want this. But I know I need this. But my mind is thinking maybe I should try another anti depressant drug or maybe I am not trans and its just low t. WTF is wrong with me? ARG!!

Don't worry Katrina as this is a common feeling we all have. Well I know I did.

You will find out very quickly if a low dose is having an effect either way. Took less than a week to feel the difference myself. The effects are indescribable.
A low does will still have good effects given time so don't worry about it and just see how it makes you feel.
If you need more or have to stop only you will know.

All the best with it.
Jen

This is common, especially right at the start of the process. Only you can know for sure if this the right decision but it sounds to me that you know transition (partial or full) is essential for your happiness. Whether it works for your relationship or not is another thing. Anti-depressants don't work all that well, they just suppress your feelings to a degree but don't make them or your gender identity go away. Starting on the lowest dose possible is a good starting point anyway. You can try and see and if it works great, if not then review it!

Oh yeah, those "doubts" will come and go. It's not that you're really unsure, it's just scary. That's what therapists are for, though. Even though being trans is biological, it's also very psychological, and it's always good to have a navigator helping you along the way.

Well I guess its a good thing I have a therapist appointment today. Because my mind is going in all different directions and the what ifs are killing me. Hopefully I don't have to wait to long to start the hormones. I am worried I'll have to wait a long time for the blood test come in before I can start. I don't know how it works. Hoping I can get started before the test come in considering I am starting with low dose any way. I waited to long.

Best of luck to you. I'm glad your wife is on board. That helps immensely.

KatrinaLynne
it's really good that your wife is on board and I think it is quite normal to have these feelings. I would have to say that most of us did have that feeling as we started HRT, even on a low dose you will find out relatively quickly. If it's right for you. I've only been at on it for just over a month now and it has made a world of difference for me. It's like a fog has been lifted and I'm thinking all whole lot more clearly. I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your journey. May the Angels always be looking upon you on your path.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann