I'm a teenage transboy, and I'm pretty sure, as a guy, I utterly fail. Even though I wear the boys uniform at school, I still get treated like a piece of meat by other guys, even though I really just want to be friends and talk about sports and all that. I have decent-sized breasts that I can't hide, thanks to not having a mom who's willing to work with me that much yet, and I'm a crybaby. I don't have the guts to come out to anyone or say anything at my school, so I just keep quiet and don't say anything in front of people. It's kinda sad... Compared to my brothers, who make my father proud and do all the cool stuff they want, I can only sit there quietly. I've told my counselor about it, but I feel like my words don't convey what I feel like very well, and usually end up smiling while feeling like ->-bleeped-<- inside because I don't want to bother people. I think I'm a failure as a guy... I don't know what to do...

Oh sweetie, ((((HUG)))) you're not a failure. All of us have had these feelings at one time or another. So anything that you want to talk about just open up and express what you're feeling here were all brothers and sisters that are here to support you and guide you the best that we can. I know that it's difficult at times. You said you're seeing a counselor is that a school counselor or do you have a therapist? Would your parents even consider sending you to a gender therapist if you asked them, or at least start with a therapist and move from their because you do need somebody that you can talk to and help you to sort out what you're feeling.

Susan's is a wonderful place with many wonderful people here that have gone through and are going through what you are feeling right now. There is a wealth of knowledge out here for the taking. Everything is at your fingertips, so pull up a chair, relax and let your fingers do the walking. Hold your head up high and let people know who you are. Doesn't matter what they think you are. All matters that they know who you are. I'm sure it's really not what you want to be hearing right now, but I don't have any great words of wisdom to help you out of what you're feeling. Look for some positive in yourself and build on that is the best advice I can give you I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your journey made the Angels always be looking upon you, and guiding you on your path.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

Quote from: SpaceMutie on November 04, 2014, 03:52:26 PM
I'm a teenage transboy, and I'm pretty sure, as a guy, I utterly fail. Even though I wear the boys uniform at school, I still get treated like a piece of meat by other guys, even though I really just want to be friends and talk about sports and all that. I have decent-sized breasts that I can't hide, thanks to not having a mom who's willing to work with me that much yet, and I'm a crybaby. I don't have the guts to come out to anyone or say anything at my school, so I just keep quiet and don't say anything in front of people. It's kinda sad... Compared to my brothers, who make my father proud and do all the cool stuff they want, I can only sit there quietly. I've told my counselor about it, but I feel like my words don't convey what I feel like very well, and usually end up smiling while feeling like ->-bleeped-<- inside because I don't want to bother people. I think I'm a failure as a guy... I don't know what to do...

Hun, non of these things make you a loser. to me the people that treat you like meat are the ones that are losers. I don't know where you are in terms of your transition. but if you still have estrogen in your system your emotions hit you a lot harder then they do if you have t. I am pre-hrt and I spend lots of time crying as well. And I have t in my blood. the transition is a very emotional time. you should really talk to a therapist and maybe even consider switching schools if you want to as that can give you the option to start a new life as a boy where that is how they know you and that is how people will treat you.

Don't be so hard on your self you have a long life ahead of you, and you r  gonna live it the way you want to live it and be the person you want to be. That really doesn't sound like a loser to me! Just hang on and stay strong you will get through this and become a better man then those boys who are treating you like a piece of meat.

Being male is not something you fail at.

True, you may not fit in well with other boys, but there is no law that says all boys must be alike, all boys must be popular with each other, all boys must keep their feelings in.

You're a boy who feels things intensely. That's an okay kind of boy to be. Really. I promise.

You're still a perfectly good male.

As for making your father proud, only one thing to say: If he's not proud, he SHOULD be. You're a unique, valuable, human being, special and precious. If he can't see this, that's HIS failing, not yours.

You're not a failure as a guy. You're just a different kind of guy than others might expect. The only standards you must live up to are your own. If you don't yet see what wonderful guy you are, I hope you do soon.

Hugs.

SpaceMutie:

You know what bud? As a "boy" in school I didn't have much success with friends or a social life either. However I did end up making a few close friends. You might find that being accepted and making friends takes some time and the right people. There are some people I simply do not want as friends because their attitude sucks. So in the meantime don't worry about those people. I know it's hard, but you need to keep your chin up and find friends that suit you well and accept you for who you are.

I even felt like a failure compared to one of my brothers, but I didn't let it get to me. I take far more risks with my life and it has paid off pretty well.

Quote from: amber roskamp on November 04, 2014, 05:07:04 PM
Hun, non of these things make you a loser. to me the people that treat you like meat are the ones that are losers. I don't know where you are in terms of your transition. but if you still have estrogen in your system your emotions hit you a lot harder then they do if you have t. I am pre-hrt and I spend lots of time crying as well. And I have t in my blood. the transition is a very emotional time. you should really talk to a therapist and maybe even consider switching schools if you want to as that can give you the option to start a new life as a boy where that is how they know you and that is how people will treat you.

Don't be so hard on your self you have a long life ahead of you, and you r  gonna live it the way you want to live it and be the person you want to be. That really doesn't sound like a loser to me! Just hang on and stay strong you will get through this and become a better man then those boys who are treating you like a piece of meat.

Thank you very much, I really appreciate how kind you're being. I'm really not into transitioning at all, because I didn't come out for a long, long time to my family because I thought I was a freak. However, now that I'm out, I really want things to happen, but my family's not so supportive... I really would love to move schools and be excited about being a guy, but I go to school with my mother and it's a really expensive religious school. I hate a lot of it, even though some of it's okay, but because it took so long to get into that school, there's no way out now.

But thank you, again. I really appreciate you, and all of you who answered me. It's really important to me that someone's here for me.

Trust me when I say you're not the only one who feels like a failure of a man, and a freak as well. Well, sometimes. That second feeling has gone away with time, as I learned to accept myself.

Just deal with what you can for now, never shove your true identity down into denial, and someday you will be able to create a happier life for yourself.

Quote from: SpaceMutie on November 04, 2014, 09:49:04 PM
Thank you very much, I really appreciate how kind you're being. I'm really not into transitioning at all, because I didn't come out for a long, long time to my family because I thought I was a freak. However, now that I'm out, I really want things to happen, but my family's not so supportive... I really would love to move schools and be excited about being a guy, but I go to school with my mother and it's a really expensive religious school. I hate a lot of it, even though some of it's okay, but because it took so long to get into that school, there's no way out now.

But thank you, again. I really appreciate you, and all of you who answered me. It's really important to me that someone's here for me.

your welcome that's what were here for! do you know if there are any support groups in your area? if so I would recommend going to those. Being around other trans people can both make you feel like less of a freak and give you friends that have been/ are going through what you are going through. so it is definitely worth it.

Im sorry for the unsupportive family that must be really hard. Im not out to my family yet but im in a little bit different position then you. I live on my own a few hours away from them. but ne ways I would be very surprised if my family was supportive.

Quote from: Hanazono on November 05, 2014, 09:37:14 AM
you could try picking up a sport like long distance running, recreationally. female bodied runners in this sport lose a lot of fats and basically end up nearly flat. the running also messes up the menstrual cycle too.
.
seek the advice of your doctor if you have any doubts about the suitability of this activity.

Yeah, I've been thinking about that, actually. I'm kinda chubby, so I thought it would be a good idea, but I have bad knees and haven't been able to run very fast for a long while. Maybe I'll pick it up when I get the chance, though I don't know if it'll be the best idea. Thank you though!

Cycling is good exercise and not too hard on the knees.

Don't know about all the other junk you want it for though.

Quote from: Seras on November 06, 2014, 08:04:41 AM
Cycling is good exercise and not too hard on the knees.

Don't know about all the other junk you want it for though.

so true.

but dont let anyone else tell you that you have to lose weight. there are so heavy men that are very handsome!

SpaceMutie, every time you post you remind me of myself. We have to put up with a lot of BS from the world just to try to be ourselves, but never give up! You may not "pass" with a crowd of people who know your legal name, but who knows what the world will be like when you're done with school? It got so much better for me after high school and into college/university. I had no idea.

Please don't let the difficult circumstances make you give up. You are worth all the effort you are putting in to becoming yourself. That's true of a lot of teenagers, cis and trans alike -- but you in particular seem like a worthwhile person, idk, probably because I identified with you in your original intro post or something?

Never let high school drama/BS ever bring you down. There is so much more outside of and beyond that world. Wear that men's uniform with pride, and be your awesome self. You deserve it.

you can't fail at being a guy. unless you're a girl, i'm sure there are enough girls here who have experienced failing at being a guy...
i've personally failed at both being a girl and a guy. but that's just because i'm a little weirder than most people.

i know lots of guys who cried when they were young, played with ponies and dolls, would rather sew dresses than fix cars etc.
some of them aren't even gay. just girlier than the norm, and have parents who thought that was ok.

a guy isn't something you can try to be and fail at.
it's just something you are, and you will be you even if nobody in the entire world sees it.
so you're a guy whom the other guys refuse to respect.
but you're not a failure.
can't fail at being yourself. though you can fail at pretending you're someone else, so don't try doing that.