I just spent an hour with my therapist and my mom discussing my future as a woman. My mom is dead set against it and she doesn't feel that I am a  transsexual. So I am really thinking that maybe I'm just a cross-dresser who has teetered too much to thinking that she's a transsexual. What do I do and where do I go from here?

Gina,
Only you can answer this question. All of us have this crazy range of continually evolving emotions and thoughts. Perhaps your sexual preference could help you make a decision? I myself don't feel I will ever transition, but wouldn't mind living full time as female. Seems strange I know, but that pretty much wraps me up. Don't let others fool you into thinking what they want. In the end your journey on this mudball is yours to own. Just my opinion.
Pansy

A couple of things come to mind here.

Your mother is transphobic.  You've said it again and again.  Her opinion doesn't count here, and only you can decide whether transitioning is for you.

It also sounds like your therapist isn't helping much.  Can you get a second opinion (and leave your mother out of the loop?)

I wasn't sure at first what my deal was either.  I was depressed, anxious and didn't care if I lived or died.  My therapist was the one who suggested I try a therapeutic dose of estrogen just to see if it made things better.  If you have a female brain, estrogen will help your mood immensely.   After that first dose, I never wanted to go another day without it.  If your brain is wired male, then estrogen will likely make you depressed and irritable.  That's how I knew for sure that I was indeed female to the core.

Your mother should have no say whatsoever when it comes to who you are and what medications you need.

Hugs,
Jill

Quote from: Pansy on November 04, 2014, 04:14:54 PM
Gina,
Only you can answer this question. All of us have this crazy range of continually evolving emotions and thoughts. Perhaps your sexual preference could help you make a decision? I myself don't feel I will ever transition, but wouldn't mind living full time as female. Seems strange I know, but that pretty much wraps me up. Don't let others fool you into thinking what they want. In the end your journey on this mudball is yours to own. Just my opinion.
Pansy

Thanks for the heartfelt advise Pansy. I guess you're right. I have tried going full time once and it was all right but it was tough because of the flipping back and forth. So I may just cross-dress off and on with really no intentions of going full time due to the complications involved. It's really tough when I've got no support froim my family.  It's like living in the shadows . . . 

Quote from: Jill F on November 04, 2014, 04:18:57 PM
A couple of things come to mind here.

Your mother is transphobic.  You've said it again and again.  Her opinion doesn't count here, and only you can decide whether transitioning is for you.

It also sounds like your therapist isn't helping much.  Can you get a second opinion (and leave your mother out of the loop?)

I wasn't sure at first what my deal was either.  I was depressed, anxious and didn't care if I lived or died.  My therapist was the one who suggested I try a therapeutic dose of estrogen just to see if it made things better.  If you have a female brain, estrogen will help your mood immensely.   After that first dose, I never wanted to go another day without it.  If your brain is wired male, then estrogen will likely make you depressed and irritable.  That's how I knew for sure that I was indeed female to the core.

Your mother should have no say whatsoever when it comes to who you are and what medications you need.

Hugs,
Jill

Yeah, I know that my mom's opinion shouldn't count, but that's a very good thought about the estrogen. I may try it out and see what happens.

You're welcome!
I'm sure you'll come to the right decision for YOU once you breathe and meditate personally and more importantly HONESTLY. Good luck and above all take care of yourself!!! 
Pansy

Its not your moms body so she has no right to say what is good or isn't good for you. She had 18 years to tell you what you can and what you can't do and once you get past 18 its none of her buisness what you do with your own body and how you do it, yet that is just my opinion and how I feel about that. Wish you the very best.

Quote from: Sandy74 on November 04, 2014, 05:10:43 PM
Its not your moms body so she has no right to say what is good or isn't good for you. She had 18 years to tell you what you can and what you can't do and once you get past 18 its none of her buisness what you do with your own body and how you do it, yet that is just my opinion and how I feel about that. Wish you the very best.

Thanks for your good words Sandy, but since I live under her roof, I have to abide by her rules. And unfortunately she doesn't want to see me dressed as a woman and neither does my sister who also lives with us. I just wish we could find a a place where we could agree at an equal level.

*hugs*

Any hope of moving out in the near-ish future? Whether you're a crossdresser or a transsexual, it sounds like she's getting in the way of you being yourself.

Quote from: Pikachu on November 04, 2014, 05:50:35 PM
*hugs*

Any hope of moving out in the near-ish future? Whether you're a crossdresser or a transsexual, it sounds like she's getting in the way of you being yourself.

Sure. The opportunity is there. I've moved out a  few times, but due to some problems I've had to move back home. My mom thinks that the people that I live with had no respect for me. Like the last person I lived with told me that I could live there but the only thing he'd ask is that I don't wear my wig around the house. Then one day when I was doing my nails he asked me to do it down wind, because the scent reminded him of his ex-wife doing her nails. Could it have been that by me wearing a wig reminded him of his ex-wife?  People shouldn't really care what I do, because the rent is guaranteed, because I'm on disability. They know that they'll get their money, so I should be able to do what I please . . . But believe m, this is something that I am seriously thinking about doing.

My mom and my sister have been pretty adamant in telling me that I can't wear any feminine clothes around the house, but here's the joke. For the past few months I've been wearing woman's no show socks, capris and (suntan) nylons, and they haven't said a word about it. My mom actually thinks that the capris are 3/4 length shorts.

I'd love to be able to wear some of my nice tops from Wal-Mart, but I think that would be pushing it a bit . . .

You are caught between the proverbial rock and hard place.  I wish I could suggest a reasonable and workable solution, but for the life of me I can't think of one.  The basics of life, food and shelter, have to take precedence over self-expression.  From what you have said, you simply have to make this situation work.  I don't think your situation is unique, but knowing that others also have difficult rows to hoe isn't particularly comforting.  Sometimes in life we simply have to make the best of a bad situation.  (I'm not going to use the word "situation" anymore even though it's a useful word.  Sheesh...)  I hope you have a huge supply of patience and endurance until a new path for life becomes available to you.  Hang in there, Gina.  This is just a chapter in your life, not the whole book. 

Quote from: Katy on November 08, 2014, 04:03:07 PM
You are caught between the proverbial rock and hard place.  I wish I could suggest a reasonable and workable solution, but for the life of me I can't think of one.  The basics of life, food and shelter, have to take precedence over self-expression.  From what you have said, you simply have to make this situation work.  I don't think your situation is unique, but knowing that others also have difficult rows to hoe isn't particularly comforting.  Sometimes in life we simply have to make the best of a bad situation.  (I'm not going to use the word "situation" anymore even though it's a useful word.  Sheesh...)  I hope you have a huge supply of patience and endurance until a new path for life becomes available to you.  Hang in there, Gina.  This is just a chapter in your life, not the whole book.

Very god points you've made about my situation. There are ways around it though and there are ways that I can make it work for me as I've been doing.  Patience and endurance I have.  And I will make them work for me as well. Thx.

Gina, thank you for responding to my message.  Reading between the lines (never a particularly exacting art) of your previous messages I was concerned that you might be approaching that dark place called despair.  I am glad that you have patience and endurance aplenty and that you will weather this current dilemma.  I am relieved.  Hang tough, Gina. 

Quote from: Katy on November 09, 2014, 07:17:24 AM
Gina, thank you for responding to my message.  Reading between the lines (never a particularly exacting art) of your previous messages I was concerned that you might be approaching that dark place called despair.  I am glad that you have patience and endurance aplenty and that you will weather this current dilemma.  I am relieved.  Hang tough, Gina.

Thanks for your concern Katy. I've been at that dark place a few times, but right now I'm just biding my time and looking for a good deal on a room so that I'll be able to move out and be able to live my life the way that I want to.