Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

How fast is too fast?

Started by ImagineKate, October 24, 2014, 12:55:18 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Rina

If you're comfortable, you're not going too fast.

That said, I've sometimes had to consider the difference between leaving my comfort zone and being uncomfortable, if that makes sense. When changing new things (I've changed my presentation in public step by step, very slowly in the beginning, but with increasing speed, for a year now), I've often felt some uncomfort due to fears over the reactions of others. However, the changes themselves felt very comfortable, and I would not even remotely consider changing them back! I avoid certain places and people rather than conform. I sorely miss some of them, like church, but I comfort myself knowing that once I pass, I can go there again, and no one will lift an eyebrow. I've also avoided bigger family gatherings, but I will come out to my extended family (or rather, my parents will do it for me; I'm so grateful for their support) before Christmas.

So before I wander completely off topic, as long as you feel comfortable with the changes themselves, regardless of fear of social consequences (I think most people have them, at varying levels), you're not going too fast. I sometimes feel I'm riding an avalanche, but I would not have it any other way.
  •  

ImagineKate

After much reflection I don't think I'm going too fast. I am changing therapists though, partially because my current (previous) one is no longer doing in person therapy in NYC and doing mostly online sessions.

I'm actually pretty comfortable and while there are some bumps in the road it's nothing I can't overcome.

It's amazing to me being myself in more places and more time than ever before.

I am also very excited to start HRT, because I've felt the calming mental effects before and it would be very nice to go back to that sense of well being. And of course having physical progress toward my true self.
  •  

Jessica Merriman

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 05, 2014, 01:41:55 PM
I'm actually pretty comfortable and while there are some bumps in the road it's nothing I can't overcome.
This is great to hear!! Sounds like you will do just fine!  :) :)
  •  

jolie

On the other end of the spectrum life isn't necessarily any better. I was 100% closeted, except for my wife, who i came out to as a crossdresser 12 years ago before we were married. Then for 5 years i started going out and exploring more and stayed closeted to my friends/family/work. I slowly phased in hair removal and only in the last year did I come out to certain groups of friends (but not all, nor family). What did it get me? A slow and painful degradation of my relationship with my wife. She went back and forth trying to be supportive and hating it. But, ultimately she claims she was denying her true feelings.

I'm still not full time, i've been seeing a gender therapist (whom i LOVE) for 2 years and only recently in the last month started hrt and even then i'm still not sure what i'm doing and feel like i'm crazy for doing it.

There is probably a happy medium, but, i think it's probably different for everyone. I'm sure everyone says this, but if i knew 20 years ago what i know now... life would have been very different...
  •  

ImagineKate

Quote from: jolie on November 06, 2014, 09:36:28 PM
On the other end of the spectrum life isn't necessarily any better. I was 100% closeted, except for my wife, who i came out to as a crossdresser 12 years ago before we were married. Then for 5 years i started going out and exploring more and stayed closeted to my friends/family/work. I slowly phased in hair removal and only in the last year did I come out to certain groups of friends (but not all, nor family). What did it get me? A slow and painful degradation of my relationship with my wife. She went back and forth trying to be supportive and hating it. But, ultimately she claims she was denying her true feelings.

I'm still not full time, i've been seeing a gender therapist (whom i LOVE) for 2 years and only recently in the last month started hrt and even then i'm still not sure what i'm doing and feel like i'm crazy for doing it.

There is probably a happy medium, but, i think it's probably different for everyone. I'm sure everyone says this, but if i knew 20 years ago what i know now... life would have been very different...

This.

I actually don't mind moving quickly. I was just looking to make sure I wasn't going to inadvertently crash and burn...
  •