Hello everyone, I just registered here but I have lurked for some days so I decided to introduce myself. 
I am a couple days away from turning 22 and I am from Sweden. I have known for years that I wanted to transition into a girl and at one point (just before I started university at 18) I had planned out how I would finally transition. However, I am still in a man's body, why is that? The answer is rather simple, although I moved away from my small hometown I just didn't have the courage to take the first step. My studies turned into a disaster and the only difference I had made in my life so far was to isolate myself from family and friends. After a year of failed studies I moved back home and I decided that I could just suck it all up. I was trying to convince myself that since this is all a result of some electrical impulses in my brain I could just be stronger than my brain and push my hidden identity away ... forever.
At the age of 20 I once again moved out to my own place, I would once again isolate myself from family and also push away everyone who wanted to attempt a romantic relationship with me. I am not sure when I opened up again to my family, but I believe it was some time after my 21st birthday (which I celebrated entirely alone ). This is sort of supposed to be my new era. I recently took the first step towards transitioning, by contacting a psychiatrist and I am waiting for an appointment

So that was a little summary of my recent years, I now have some other things I would like to talk about

As I mentioned, I live in Sweden. If you ask me, Sweden is a wonderful country with great history! I would also love to think that Sweden is among the top ranking countries in the world when it comes to gender equality and LGBTQ rights. I want to believe this is a result of a socialist state. Reading many transition stories here on the forum have saddened me greatly since I have said people saying things like "unfortunately I will not be able to continue HRT because my lack of money" or "I doubt I will have the money required for SRS in a near future".
In Sweden, the transition consists of 2 years, where you will see doctors and such for a year followed by the "real time experience" where you start HRT and you are supposed to live as the man/woman you are! What is wonderful is that this is all financed by the state, and for MTFs you will even get paid SRS and if you want you can get breast implants (although, this is a debated topic whether MTFs should or should not have the right to get them)!
So from my perspective I am really happy to live in Sweden and although I have always wanted to move to the states I think my life would be much worse, with the higher crime rate (with the exception of rape ) and capitalist mindset and so on.

Let's move forward to my transition. I stated that there is a 1 year evaluation where the doctors & co do their things. I am not worried about any of the meetings regarding my mental health, however when it comes to physical health I am a little troubled at the moment although I try to not think about this.
My mother has a chronic genetical disease named SLE. For those of you who feel like reading about it here's a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systemic_lupus_erythematosus
This disease is most common with females with the ratio 9:1 in all ages, so my thought was "ah, at least there was an upside being born as a genetical male!", but continuing reading about this disease made me worry. Now, not much is really known about this disease but one of the believed triggering factors is estrogen.
This could all be paranoia, but during the last year or so I have been telling my mother now and then that I have chest pains and whatnot and recently my right knee has started hurting as well, nothing major but I enough to bother me.
So to connect this estrogen triggered diseased with everything else I have written:
Do you have any knowledge of how the disease might trigger an MTF? I am only concerned because I think the doctors would deny me the HRT because of it and therefore I would rather keep it a secret but they could probably see this stuff on my mother's medical record or something
Do you think the doctors would deny me HRT because there is a risk it would nurture the potential disease?

Thank you all for the time you took reading this

JoannaSwe,
first off, let me start out by saying a big warm welcome to Susan's place. There are many beautiful people here that are going through, or have gone through the same thing you are. There is a vast amount of information to be found here along with some great resources. Everything is right at your fingertips, so pull up a chair, relax and let your fingers do the talking.

Now onto your medical questions I have no knowledge of the disease your speaking of, but I do know a good endocrinologist will take all this into consideration, and would assumedly modify your treatment plan and monitor you while on HRT. I really hope to see you around the forums. It's always good to have another sister. I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your journey, and may the Angels always look upon you and help guide you on your path.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

Hey Johanna

Welcome to Susan's Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Sorry, I don't have any insight into your medical issue. Perhaps you can ask a doctor who is separate from your evaluation process?

Please check out the following links for general site info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Cheers

Grace

Hmm, anything do do with lupus is hard.  I truly hope that is not the diagnosis.   But knowledge is power.  I hope do the tests and find the answer.  You sure as heck don't want the symptoms to escalate to RA and connective tissue disease.   I'm a caregiver to a lupus patient, and she is the most courageous person I know. I wish you well and please do what you have to do to seek solutions.

Peace
Julie 

Welcome!

I really relate to the first paragraph. i am from a small town and it is hard to tell people that you are trans because you have no idea how they will react. It took me 5 years to start mine (starting hrt in January or December). I also first had the realization that i was trans when i was 18. and i also sucked in school partially because of my gender issues were my main concern, not my studies.

it is completely natural to fear the worst. There are many other things that it could be. your knees might hurt from putting stress on them and your chest might hurt from your diet. I think you should talk to your doctor about this, because you worrying about having lupus is causing you stress. Going in an getting checked for it could ease some of the stress and if you have it you can receive proper treatment before it gets worse.

I hope that you learn a lot here it is a great site

Also i am jealous of you... i wish i lived in Sweden.

Welcome JohannaSwe to Susans place, good to have you 

Like others I know nothing of the disease, I wish you well.

As for living in Sweden... Sounds the place for me.. Bit late for me tho.

Hope you get all your answers and that you can become who you are without issues

L Katy 

Thank you all for your support! I think just hearing people that have experienced things similar to me relieves me from a great deal of stress.
I have also come to accept the true me more and I don't really feel anxious about my mother's disease as of now. I am happier than I ever was before by just knowing I will see a psychiatrist next week for the first time! Finally my life is going in the right direction!

I thank you ladies again for your responses and you are all wonderful human beings!

Welcome!

Auto-immune disorders are really tricky. There's a definite genetic component to them. Children of a parent with lupus have about a 5% chance of getting the disease but as you noted the ration is anywhere from 6:1 to 9:1 depending on country, of females to males afflicted. A visit with a rheumatologist would be a good start if you're concerned. ANA and anti-ENA testing or immunofluorescence would be the methods by which a diagnosis would be made. A specialist would also be able to give you an idea of what HRT would do it you were diagnosed. A visit with endo would also be a very good idea.

Best wishes to you!

Hej, hur gick du tillväga när du kontaktade psykiatriker? Blir stressad och nervös bara av tanken att göra det :/

Welcome!

I have a question though. What makes you think the USA in general has a crime problem? We have many safe cities here. Yes we have some bad ones but there are many safe places to live and work. Crime rates have been steadily declining in fact. This has been linked to everything from more opportunities to banning lead paint.  Don't let what you see on TV give you a bad impression.

I'm also from Sweden and while I can't answer for her, what I see/hear about the USA gives a really religious and a little violent impression at times. Though that is most likely just that those kinds of thinks are more "news worthy" and therefore more exposed.

Quote from: yuui on November 26, 2014, 02:35:16 PM
Hej, hur gick du tillväga när du kontaktade psykiatriker? Blir stressad och nervös bara av tanken att göra det :/

Det var inte lätt, jag kände precis likadant som du gör. Jag har flera gånger tidigare bestämt mig för att kontakta en psykatriker men backat ur i sista stund. Som jag nämnde så hade jag ju planerat att börja redan efter gymnasiet när jag flyttade hemifrån, men var för rädd för att göra något.
I slutändan så var jag nog bara trött på att aldrig vara lycklig och insåg att det här är något jag måste göra om jag någonsin vill vara det. Jag kan även tillägga att jag har mitt första möte om en vecka och jag är väldigt nervös inför det men jag har nog aldrig sett fram emot något så otroligt mycket i hela mitt liv. Jag tror de första stegen är de svåraste.

Kom ihåg att det finns ingen viktigare i ditt liv än du själv!

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 26, 2014, 06:42:28 PM
Welcome!

I have a question though. What makes you think the USA in general has a crime problem? We have many safe cities here. Yes we have some bad ones but there are many safe places to live and work. Crime rates have been steadily declining in fact. This has been linked to everything from more opportunities to banning lead paint.  Don't let what you see on TV give you a bad impression.

I guess it is just because I have read stories about how transwomen get assaulted just for showing themselves outside and I let these stories generalize the US, which is stupid...

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 26, 2014, 06:42:28 PM
Welcome!

I have a question though. What makes you think the USA in general has a crime problem? We have many safe cities here. Yes we have some bad ones but there are many safe places to live and work. Crime rates have been steadily declining in fact. This has been linked to everything from more opportunities to banning lead paint.  Don't let what you see on TV give you a bad impression.

http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/Sweden/United-States/Crime

As the original poster noted, except for rape, any objective, statistical analysis of crime rates in the US versus Sweden shows Sweden to be a far more peaceful country.

Just because you and I, as US citizens, are used to the rates of crime in the US does not mean these rates of crime are "normal" to the rest of the world.

And when you add in radical right wing religious bigotry against people of color, against all LGBT people, and a fundamentally broken health care system, I think you have a far more toxic environment, especially to trans people, than most other first world nations.

Quote from: LizMarie on November 27, 2014, 11:53:04 AM
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/Sweden/United-States/Crime

As the original poster noted, except for rape, any objective, statistical analysis of crime rates in the US versus Sweden shows Sweden to be a far more peaceful country.

Just because you and I, as US citizens, are used to the rates of crime in the US does not mean these rates of crime are "normal" to the rest of the world.

And when you add in radical right wing religious bigotry against people of color, against all LGBT people, and a fundamentally broken health care system, I think you have a far more toxic environment, especially to trans people, than most other first world nations.

Wow, that murder rate really scares me. Now I will never dare to visit the US

Quote from: JohannaSwe on November 27, 2014, 12:27:54 PM
Wow, that murder rate really scares me. Now I will never dare to visit the US

I've been living here half a century and haven't been murdered yet. No one here is posting negative things about Sweden,  I'm wondering why you're doing it about my country? US bashing seems to be a more popular sport than soccer......

I moved to the US when I was in my teens and if anyone has murdered me, they didn't tell me about it.

Follow common sense rules and act accordingly and you'll be fine here.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on November 27, 2014, 12:43:20 PM
I've been living here half a century and haven't been murdered yet. No one here is posting negative things about Sweden,  I'm wondering why you're doing it about my country? US bashing seems to be a more popular sport than soccer......

I'm sorry if I offended you, it really wasn't my intention. There is no perfect country (except North Korea), Sweden has its flaws as well. It is just the things I think is important weren't what I was expecting. I just want to feel safe :/
Furthermore, feel free to bash on Sweden as much as you want, I won't take it personally, I am not the country.
However, I will say this, the US have many appealing things. It sure seems to be a more fun country than Sweden overall and you have like the entire world's climate in one country so no real reason to travel outside the US if you are just looking for fun times! In comparison to Sweden which is a really depressing country with its eternal winter I feel like we are the people from the North in Game of Thrones http://www.thelocal.se/galleries/others/3162/1
I also think we have one of the world's highest suicide rates which says something my country ._.

I think this topic has derailed a little bit and once again, I am sorry if I offended you.

I don't get offended, I get even!   

It's just my experience mingling with the international crowd here at Susan's that they are very prone to blurting out negative things about where I live, yet I don't return the favour. Well, other than Tasmania, but we all know that's floating away to the South Pole!

Quote from: LizMarie on November 27, 2014, 11:53:04 AM
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/compare/Sweden/United-States/Crime

As the original poster noted, except for rape, any objective, statistical analysis of crime rates in the US versus Sweden shows Sweden to be a far more peaceful country.

Just because you and I, as US citizens, are used to the rates of crime in the US does not mean these rates of crime are "normal" to the rest of the world.

And when you add in radical right wing religious bigotry against people of color, against all LGBT people, and a fundamentally broken health care system, I think you have a far more toxic environment, especially to trans people, than most other first world nations.

Sweden overall probably does have a lower crime rate than the US, but take out the big cities like Chicago, Detroit, Baltimore etc and our crime rates drop drastically.

It's a pet peeve I have when people talk about crime rates, not only about the US, but about individual states. People see New Jersey and they think it is all like Newark and Camden. Meanwhile I live in NJ and up here most people don't even lock their doors, and our town doesn't even have a local police department.

It's really not good to generalize.

The USA by and large is safe. However if you live in the inner cities like Chicago or Detroit, you could be at risk. Simple solution. Don't live there.

As for the "radical right wing" violence, I agree that religious nuts can cause trouble but if you really want to be out, loud and proud, go somewhere where you are accepted like San Francisco or NYC, which incidentally are pretty safe cities.