Dysphoria is a somewhat elusive concept to me. I can't seem to get a concrete explanation of what it is.

In medical terms, it's usually described as a general feeling of unease or discomfort. This is really vague.

Anecdotally, gender dysphoria seems to come up for people when they're reminded that they don't have the body of/aren't perceived as their true gender. However, it's sometimes conflated with body dysmorphia, and people also talk about the difference between bodily dysphoria and social dysphoria, which makes it hard for someone like me to get a good grasp of what it actually means.

On top of that, I can't tell how strong one's feelings of discomfort must be in order to qualify as "dysphoria." It seems like any discomfort, no matter how minor, is considered disphoria. However, I'm familiar with PMDD, or premenstrual dysphoric disorder, because I suspect I have it (haven't been to the doctor, it's a recent problem and another story entirely). This is basically PMS kicked up a notch, to the point where it interferes with your ability to function. It's quite strong and embarrassingly debilitating to have. I don't want to talk about "my gender dysphoria" when it's only giving me mild/moderate discomfort, because I don't want to use the term incorrectly and make light of the more severe situations of others.

So, where do we draw the line between feelings of discomfort, or feelings of disconnect with one's body, and actual dysphoria? Also, are there any other types of gender dysphoria besides physical and social?

I do know that you have to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria (to some degree) in order to qualify for SRS, but that's about it.

I would have to say that dysphoria is as vast as personalities. I know that I can not look at myself in the mirror to do anything, as I do not like what I see, maleness. I also know that I can't go out to places like bazzars and fleamarkets, and such where there are a lot of people, especially women. I get really anxious when I am around a lot of women as I see different things, features, clothes and
shoes, that I wish I had or could wear. Also I know what I look like and that a lot of what I want just would make me look so stupid and that sets me off and I start to tremble and shake and sometimes I even start to studder. When I get this the only to calm down is to lie on my back and place 50 to 100 pounds on my chest.

This is what my dysphoria is like. I hope that this information helps with what you are looking for.

Hugs and best wishes
Davida

The difference between body dysphoria and body dysmorphia are the causes and treatments. Body dysmorphia is a psychological issue that can be addressed with counselling. Body dysphoria is caused by the brain being hardwired to be whatever gender that person is (at least, it is according to the studies that have been done which I'm inclined to believe) and is addressed by transitioning (or not depending on the choices of the individual). Body dysphoria does not go away with counselling.
Body dysphoria is the feeling of unease and discomfort due to having a body that doesn't match what the brain says it should be. At least, that's what I think. That may be vague, but that's what it is. Just because someone has less dysphoria than someone else or it presents itself in a different way, doesn't mean it's not dysphoria. The feelings of discomfort and disconnect are real dysphoria.

I was once asked to define dysphoria for a person who had never encountered the term. This is what I wrote, and I feel like it communicates how I experience dysphoria fairly well:

Quote
Dysphoria: The word "dysphoria" means "to feel bad." It's the opposite of a more familiar word, euphoria, and for good reason – there's nothing positive about it.

We all know the typical picture: a little girl stares at herself in the mirror, disgusted to see a little boy looking back. But gender dysphoria is not necessarily the same thing as self-loathing or body hatred. It can refer to a number of things.

Dysphoria is the odd, sticky feeling you get when you put on a skirt and your brain goes "that's not right..." It's the fear that everyone else will know what you just thought. Dysphoria is the flare of panic when the class is split into "men" and "women" and all of a sudden, you're not sure where to go. Dysphoria is a disconnect when you catch your reflection, that extra millisecond of "Oh? Is that me?"

Sometimes it's crippling. Sometimes it's a minor irritation. Sometimes it's not there at all.

I think I have body dysphoria and dysmorphia. I speculate that a lot of trans people do, actually.

I have always had a good male physique, which is not surprising given my profession and the hours I've spent keeping it in top shape. But I've also been trans since the age of 7, with a massive urge to transition (though I never think of it in such complete terms, rather a more compartmentalised approach to MtF body modification). So when I look in the mirror, I can often be both pleased and distressed by what I see -- a very complex thought process goes on during those moments staring at myself.

I still don't know whether my distress stems from a female brain that wants a matching female body (dysphoria?), or a male brain that wants to modify its body to look female (dysmorphia?). I think it's all very fascinating, though -- don't you?

Just for a bit of background, I've seen three psychologists (the first of which told me I was transsexual) and one psychiatrist, who diagnosed me as genderfluid and dysphoric, giving me the all clear to commence HRT. I did go on HRT for 6-months on two separate occasions and, yes, it really helped me. But perceived social pressures on my part and the loss of my male form wouldn't allow me to push through to transition. All very confusing. Right now I have no idea which way to turn.

This will be my final post, as I find this site too... let's just say, limiting in what can and can't be discussed.

So it's goodbye, I guess. Feel free to drop me a line if you have my email address.

What is Dysphoria exaclty? One word, Hell. All the stuff about hell, is a peice of cake. The nashing of teeth, no problem. Burning, no problem, Repition no problem. When it come to Dante's Inferno and the seven levels of hell Dysphoria is Hell in the truest sense of the word at about level 14.

Quote from: Servalan on November 09, 2014, 11:27:31 PM
This will be my final post, as I find this site too... let's just say, limiting in what can and can't be discussed.

We moderate the way we do to provide a safe place for those to go who are hurt, confused and scared. It has worked very well for us and countless people have been helped here. I am sorry you feel this way, but every site has Terms of Service of one kind or another.

So it's goodbye, I guess. Feel free to drop me a line if you have my email address.

Sorry to see you go, but you are welcome back anytime. 

Quote from: Servalan on November 09, 2014, 11:27:31 PM
This will be my final post, as I find this site too... let's just say, limiting in what can and can't be discussed.

So it's goodbye, I guess. Feel free to drop me a line if you have my email address.

Why? I really don't find it too limiting. Jessica Merriman may be little mean , Just kidding sis. But yeah she is right. I'm not exactly what anyone in their right mind would call an "upstanding citizen" and have never had any problem.

Quote from: Jess42 on November 10, 2014, 12:45:56 AM
Jessica Merriman may be little mean , Just kidding sis.

<Looks for PERMABAN button> 

Member: Jess42-File not found! 

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on November 10, 2014, 12:48:24 AM
<Looks for PERMABAN button> 

Member: Jess42-File not found! 

Incognito hon. Incognito. I can hide really good.

Quote from: Jess42 on November 10, 2014, 12:53:58 AM
Incognito hon.

Speak English! 

Hijacking averted. Continue with topic! 

Before I consciously acknowledged to myself that I'm trans* dysphoria primarily was a vague loathing of my body, it's shape, fat distribution, etc. - paired with feeling disconnected from it in a weird way. It's a bit like one of those bad "a man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder" jokes.

Since figuring out that I'm trans*, these feelings have lost their vagueness. They are a lot sharper, possibly more painful. The thing is, I wonder if some of this has been heightened by reading about dysphoria and the trans* experience.

when i was young, dysphoria was first the pain of confusion. a question that could not be answered, about why i couldn't play with the boys in kindergarten.
when puberty hit, dysphoria was my panic and despair at noticing that my body was changing, and not in the way i wanted it to. if moderate genital mutilation was offered to me, with anesthesia, when i was around 9-10, i would have said yes please without a moment of hesitation. if i knew about binders when i was 12, i would have done what i could to get one.

dysphoria turned into depression, with a lot of help from other things that went bad in my life.
depression got bad enough that i couldn't feel the dysphoria, and despite learning in my early teenage years that what was wrong with me was called "trans*", i only considered transition for a few minutes before giving up the thought. my parents had already damaged me too much, and i truly believed my options were are limited as they said. at least i didn't have the slightest idea how to break free, so why try in the first place...
there were so many bad things, they really masked dysphoria. i didn't understand what that part of my depression was.

as i grew into an adult, old issues became less important, and as i allowed myself more freedom, dysphoria came back in a form i could recognize.
a feeling that was gnawing on me. never so much it really hurt, but it was wearing me down, tiring me out. living happily as my assigned gender became more and more difficult. even with full freedom, i had no use for it, because it was a wrong type of freedom.
i didn't hate my body intensely until i truly realized i am trans. knowing without doubt, identifying the source of the pain, made it impossible to ignore.

getting out of depression, accepting myself as who i am regardless of how i look, and deciding to live my own life my own way, has changed dysphoria again.
it's no more than a distant annoyance. a bug that won't leave me alone, but doesn't bite very hard either. distracting, but i'd rather live with it than not live at all.

something i've noticed though, is that my dysphoria has less to do with my looks or anything social, and more to do with my feelings. the way my body reacts to things, the way my emotions swing, the way monthly cycles affect me emotionally. it feels wrong. of course some of it feels really bad, painful, it's annoying. all women complain about that. but i don't complain, i'd rather never talk about it. because it feels wrong that this is happening to me. whereas my sister loves to complain because it's the strongest evidence that she's a woman. and she loves being one.

It is vague indeed...

For me it is/was some discrepancy between what I saw and what I felt. My body said boy, my mind said girl. Even after surgery, I still have things I cannot change. When I look at my hands and feet, I think: those are manly hands and feet! And this hurts. It feels like I am looking at someone else when I see my own hands and feet. That really sucks. Being on hormones for 4 years and having had surgery, I feel way less dysphoric. I now look in the mirror and the body starts to agree to what I feel about myself: woman. So the feeling of extreme discomfort does get better after time and the physical procedures. Not quite there yet, but I think I am close to 80% happiness and still have 20% dysphoria. Which is doable, because I do not think I will ever reach 100%

For me Dysphoria is standing next to my friend and knowing that she and I are inherently different, because I was born with a y chromosone. Its knowing that no matter what I do I will never be able to become pregnant. Its looking in the mirror and despairing at the size of my ribcage and the width of my shoulders. Its not being able to enjoy things of a sexual nature, simply because I hate how my body reacts to them.

I loathe the fact that this is something I need to endure simply TO Endure. I hate that because of a birth defect I have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars just for the potential to be happy. I hate my voice- in that when I sing its an octave too low. I hate the fact that I fear that I will die alone and worry over who could possibly be happy to be with me, not only because I am Trans* but because of the depression and anxiety that stem directly from it and have plagued me as long as I have been on this earth.

Dysphoria for me is Hatred and Shame, directed at no one but myself, and despite how hard I work to quiet it, the little demon is always there, whispering in my ear.

For me, dysphoria just means that I've always wished I could be a female. Once I realized transition was a possibility, the idea of continuing to live as a male suddenly began to seem unendurably bleak. I developed a preoccupation with transition - I thought about it constantly.

I've also been trying to figure out what dysphoria is supposed to be, to try and figure out whether I'm dysphoric or not. I guess its very hard to describe because people experience it very differently, and so the best encompassing description one can hope for is a pretty vague one? Keep answering guys this is helpful 

The only thing I can honestly say I've always felt is that I constantly felt like I didn't didn't fit in. For cultural/religious reasons and also the fact that I was a pretty shy kid I've pretty much spent all my life around other girls, so at this point I don't know if I've ever wished I was a boy when I was young. I don't recall any sort of dislike towards my body except for some discomfort towards my chest, mostly I've just been indifferent towards my body. Didn't like it, didn't hate it. Lately though I've just been glad that I have a mostly straight body type and not curvy, and it makes me happy (secretly) when my mom complains that my shoulders are getting broader than my hips. I think I've always had issues with my voice, but I can't be so sure. I know that when I'm singing along to music I always try to go as low as I can, which is probably why I'll never find my singing voice. Maybe this has nothing to do with anything, but the music I listen to almost exclusively features male vocalists (if anyone here listens to Alter Bridge, I want Myles Kennedy's vocal chords for my birthday please).

Maybe this is dysphoria, maybe it isn't, I don't know. I think its really hard to figure out this gender stuff if you've grown up in a community where gender roles play a large role, because then the whole nature/nurture argument gets blurred and it gets really hard to separate what you are from what you've grown up to think you are. Maybe this is also why dysphoria manifests itself in different ways for different people. Don't know if I'm making any sense here, I'm thinking through as I type.

Quote from: darkblade on November 10, 2014, 11:23:57 AM
I've also been trying to figure out what dysphoria is supposed to be, to try and figure out whether I'm dysphoric or not. I guess its very hard to describe because people experience it very differently, and so the best encompassing description one can hope for is a pretty vague one? Keep answering guys this is helpful 

The only thing I can honestly say I've always felt is that I constantly felt like I didn't didn't fit in. For cultural/religious reasons and also the fact that I was a pretty shy kid I've pretty much spent all my life around other girls, so at this point I don't know if I've ever wished I was a boy when I was young. I don't recall any sort of dislike towards my body except for some discomfort towards my chest, mostly I've just been indifferent towards my body. Didn't like it, didn't hate it. Lately though I've just been glad that I have a mostly straight body type and not curvy, and it makes me happy (secretly) when my mom complains that my shoulders are getting broader than my hips. I think I've always had issues with my voice, but I can't be so sure. I know that when I'm singing along to music I always try to go as low as I can, which is probably why I'll never find my singing voice. Maybe this has nothing to do with anything, but the music I listen to almost exclusively features male vocalists (if anyone here listens to Alter Bridge, I want Myles Kennedy's vocal chords for my birthday please).

Maybe this is dysphoria, maybe it isn't, I don't know. I think its really hard to figure out this gender stuff if you've grown up in a community where gender roles play a large role, because then the whole nature/nurture argument gets blurred and it gets really hard to separate what you are from what you've grown up to think you are. Maybe this is also why dysphoria manifests itself in different ways for different people. Don't know if I'm making any sense here, I'm thinking through as I type.

You're just like me in a lot of ways and I find that oddly comforting, haha. I'm also pretty stick-like, but never was bothered by this even though I felt like I was supposed to want more pronounced curves as a teenager. Throughout all ages I would secretly be happy any time someone made a comment about my body being too masculine in some way. One time a boy in daycare asked me why I had an adam's apple and the teacher/supervisor was like OMG DON'T SAY RUDE THINGS even though I didn't mind. It kind of made me happy and I was afraid to show or admit that.

I think this is also probably why I never felt dysphoric about my body, and why I need it to be explained to me. I actually like my body. I just like it MORE when it's male (in dreams and my imagination). I grew up in a female-dominated environment with a lot of strong women, so it's not even a matter of being brought up around traditional gender roles for me.

The exception is my chest. I like boobs, but I've always felt this sudden twinge of paralyzing paranoia anytime something or someone touched my breasts. Now I know why. I guess that's dysphoria.

I've also always preferred to sing low notes. I thought it was just a quirk of mine. It makes sense in the context of being transgender. I am thrilled at the prospect of being able to sing even lower someday, haha.

With that aside, thank you all for your answers so far. Especially captains--your definition really cleared it up for me. I have a better grasp of what dysphoria is, now.

Quote from: suzifrommd on November 10, 2014, 07:49:22 AM
For me, dysphoria just means that I've always wished I could be a female. Once I realized transition was a possibility, the idea of continuing to live as a male suddenly began to seem unendurably bleak. I developed a preoccupation with transition - I thought about it constantly.

Hi Suzi,

Exactly.  It does seem recently as I realize what is possible even at my age of 52, my dysphoria has gotten considerably worse.    I think about transitioning probably 70% of the time if not more.   When I was younger, even though I knew some things about being transgender, I always thought it was an impossible dream.  The reality that I could actually change my body and my life for the better, has really turned my brain upside down.

Thanks for your comment,
Paige

So... Constantly wishing my moobs would flatten (I've been calling them moobs rather than boobs), and my abs would chisel out more is symptomatic of dysphoria?

As far as dress goes, I've always preferred male style. I went to a private school and the female population had a kilt to wear, but also the option of pants in colder months or shorts in warmer months. As soon as I could I wore pants or shorts as dates would allow (I nearly had a countdown to when we could switch). I also used to swear that I would never wear a skirt if I could avoid it and still feel uncomfortable wearing them - though I will do when the occasion calls for it.

Would all that be dysphoric?