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Hurtful and my friend is awful and a bigot

Started by Larisa, November 01, 2014, 11:21:30 PM

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Jill F

You did the right thing.  It must have been hard, but more often than not the right thing to do is the hardest as well.

Hugs and congrats for standing up to him,
Jill
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Shantel

Just kick him to the curb and move on unless of course you like the drama and enjoy playing the victim! You can do better any day hon!
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Larisa

Im feeling way better without him around and it's been over a week now. Ive not been sick like i was due to the stress of him but it's nice to also not have someone around telling me what to do. I told him a week ago that "Im a independent person and that I can think for myself thank you". He didnt like that at all. He just would get mad.

Id tell him I dont like my own sex. I kinda changed that meaning around but he didnt know I was trans. I was just basically again meaning I dont relate to guys very well unlike girls even though it's beyond that and not that simple. It was a test in our last conversation of what he would say so when I told him I dont like my own sex, he said I should and "embrace" it. How do you relate to or embrace something that you are mostly not? He would like another guy last year would just bash girls all the time infront of me and expect me to just join in. Well now I should embrace your bashing of girls all the time when Im a girl inside even if you didnt know it. Like so you dont want me to be who I am and Im to dumb to think for myself. Yes Ive some guy traits but my brain is more girl than guy ever.

Im sooo over it basically and Im happy without him around now. :) It's however sad that there are such jerks like him. My thing to all is to be yourself!
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BlaineGame

Reading all of these responses, I'd say you've got some true friends on this site. It is sad that one thing can change a friendship sour like that. I have a best friend who thinks I'm just crossdressing...he doesn't know that I want to be a male. When I had brought it up a month ago, he said "You are not a guy! You are a girl! Please wear girl clothes!" I have been friends with him for 8 months and he's like my second half so it hurt that he said that to me.

His reason was selfish too. He just wanted me to stay a girl because I was "attractive as a girl". I tell him everything, even though we haven't been friends for long. I feel like I've known him all my life so it was a shock that he said that to me. But I learned from this thread. I learned that you shouldn't try your hardest to make others happy when you're sad/upset inside. You should focus on what makes you happy, not the people around you.
Lyrics for a song I wrote

This ain't a scam
It's who I am
I am a man inside
This ain't a dream
Stop being mean
And just accept it.
I am ready to shine!
Ready to fight for that dream of mine
I am a man inside
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Shantel

Quote from: BlaineGame on November 11, 2014, 11:29:26 AM
Reading all of these responses, I'd say you've got some true friends on this site. It is sad that one thing can change a friendship sour like that. I have a best friend who thinks I'm just crossdressing...he doesn't know that I want to be a male. When I had brought it up a month ago, he said "You are not a guy! You are a girl! Please wear girl clothes!" I have been friends with him for 8 months and he's like my second half so it hurt that he said that to me.

His reason was selfish too. He just wanted me to stay a girl because I was "attractive as a girl". I tell him everything, even though we haven't been friends for long. I feel like I've known him all my life so it was a shock that he said that to me. But I learned from this thread. I learned that you shouldn't try your hardest to make others happy when you're sad/upset inside. You should focus on what makes you happy, not the people around you.

Yes, and besides one person doesn't make another person happy or unhappy, they make themselves that way, so we needn't feel obligated to try.
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Larisa

Quote from: BlaineGame on November 11, 2014, 11:29:26 AM
Reading all of these responses, I'd say you've got some true friends on this site. It is sad that one thing can change a friendship sour like that. I have a best friend who thinks I'm just crossdressing...he doesn't know that I want to be a male. When I had brought it up a month ago, he said "You are not a guy! You are a girl! Please wear girl clothes!" I have been friends with him for 8 months and he's like my second half so it hurt that he said that to me.

His reason was selfish too. He just wanted me to stay a girl because I was "attractive as a girl". I tell him everything, even though we haven't been friends for long. I feel like I've known him all my life so it was a shock that he said that to me. But I learned from this thread. I learned that you shouldn't try your hardest to make others happy when you're sad/upset inside. You should focus on what makes you happy, not the people around you.

Thanks! Ya and being selfish shows that person is not a real friend and that is extremely hurtful. My friend was the exact way trying to tell me who I was as if he knew better and feared something. I have to be what you want me to be because it fits for you meaning no acceptance. Your friend sounds a bit controlling no offense. I know my exfriend ended his friendship with someone who did tell him he was trans and while in that instance I can't blame him due to certain nontrans reasons I wont say, I also had to hear the most vile things said about trans people and he just acted like I agreed with him. Im sitting there thinking what is wrong with you? Your selfish, ignorant, a bigot and violent about it.

It's also hurtful when they try to relate to you like my exfriend said he thinks alot like me but every test I played on him to see if he really thought like me, he failed at. This was a few months ago but one day, he said something in text, I wrote to him "Oh cool." He than thought I was truly interested and I wasnt. I just wanted to see if he picked up on my "oh cool " which really meant to him to go away and that he was annoying me. He totally failed that test proving again he doesnt think like me or understand girls a 100% like he said recently. Be yourself and stop trying to say your me one day and the next saying you know who I really am and contradict yourself. Tell me Im not a girl than the next day come and say oh I think very girly like you. It's stupid and rude of him.
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