Hi Everyone,

There's been a lot of buzz in lefty news recently about street harassment targeting cis women by cis men and though the same outlets haven't said much, I think it's also well-established that trans women who don't "pass" - especially if they're a POC - receive more harassment than anybody. I haven't read any statistics on trans men, except that I know in some places masculine women or trans men are also at risk of sexual violence when our sex is revealed.

So far this hasn't been my experience, however. (Thank god). As a (white) FAAB with chest-masculinizing surgery and a "boy's haircut" but otherwise no male sex characteristics, I've noticed that the more masculine - or maybe confusing? - my gender presentation (e.g., tight shirts that show my flat chest with short shorts that show my big thighs), the more stares and questionable looks I receive. Mostly the stares are curious or slightly suspicious but sometimes they have a certain lewdness or undercurrent of malice that make me uneasy. However, the number of comments directed my way has significantly gone down. But even before I had the chest surgery, when my presentation was already pretty masculine, I don't feel like I was ever harassed that much - a factor I attributed to just being unattractive. 

So I was just wondering, for those of us who identify outside of the binary and present ourselves accordingly, whether that has affected the attention we receive and how. Does "masculinizing" your appearance deflect male attention? Has "feminizing" it enhanced it? Can you predict the amount of harassment you'll receive based on how you present yourself that day? And does it ever make you think twice about wearing that skirt you really like or whether or not you should bind when passing through certain neighborhoods?

Cheers.

-V

harassment is something i received when i presented cis female and was very uncomfortable with pretty much everything in my life.
i no longer let people harass me, so i can't really comment until i've tried medically masculinizing my body.

They dont mess with me genderqueer.  As soft as I look, there is something deep within that they sense, and unless they are foolish, they wont screw with that.

Most respect me having the balls to do it.  Although I'd like to trade those for something my other friends would also like not having, they can have mine, I would enjoy theirs, though truth be told, when it comes to visuals, I prefer genderless too.  But not when it comes to physical needs, so it remains, never actually acknowledged by me to be a body part that is part of me. 

But no, they don't harrass.  Not with this specific presentation, they just figure its original, bending.

I don't get harassed when I don't pass. I get stares, glares, smirks (still don't know what that's about) but no harassment, not even a little.

When I do pass, I have guys calling out to me when I walk down city streets, but not in any other public venues (mall, stores, park, etc.)

The harassment I got before transition was actually worse than post transition, I was an androgynous femme male, who was always read as queer (either gay or lesbian depending on what I was wearing, haircut and whether or not I had facial hair). I actually came close to being queer bashed on a number of occasions.

Post transition I mostly get catcalling (I get meowed at, a lot ), occasionally I get a bit of harassment from being read as a queer woman, mostly from my habit of dressing skater,riding skateboards and carrying a handbag. It confuses people.

I am perfectly capable of being read as cis and straight, unless I deliberately queer it up, so presentation definitely does play a role in the kind of harassment I get.

I don't get harassed, I do the harassing.!

Not really harassing I suppose, more like protecting.

If I ever witness anyone helplessly being harassed, whether trans, gay, female, old person etc. I think I'll just take a swing or two, and put them out..
I'm old, bad health, what are the cops going to do to me.?

I don't get harassed and I suppose that even though I sport some obvious female attributes that having been fully masculinized for the first half of my life there is something in my demeanor and presence that is offsetting to any potential harassers. I am pretty well accepted by women, probably because I am friendly and warm and don't flaunt my differences, though I'm sure that a few consider me somewhat of a colorful androgynous eccentric. I've never been approached by men in their 20's - 30's range, but I suspect some of the older men see something interesting, however I take it in stride and am pretty non-responsive to that sort of stuff. Then again I just may be too dull of wit to even notice!

Quote from: Vestyn on November 09, 2014, 11:03:28 PM
There's been a lot of buzz in lefty news recently about street harassment targeting cis women by cis men and though the same outlets haven't said much,

Cheers.
-V

Hi Vestyn,

Sorry to sidetrack the discussion a bit but I just had to says something about the idea that there's a lefty media in the U.S..  It's a bit of a myth.  When you have a country where the words Liberal and Socialist are equated to Communism, you really don't have much on the left.   Really the only thing the U.S. has is different flavors of right-wing corporate media, which are all driven by their corporate agendas.  There's not really much lefty about that.

Paige

We dont get that sort of harassment here like what people could see on that famous YT clip (about 10 hrs walking the streets of NYC - I was like, OMG, that's crazy... but I think, I am getting now some insight on what You folks are experiencing). Now, here one might get some unwanted attention if seen as LGBT, but well, being 5'9" I dont really experience that. I cannot project that aura or presence and danger anymore, but I use that calm and peaceful stare now (You know, I am not presenting a danger to You but I am not afraid of You either) whenever I sense those curious stares upon me. Just make them know that their attention is detected and is unwanted. Works fine - at least so far .

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on November 10, 2014, 02:44:15 PM
We dont get that sort of harassment here like what people could see on that famous YT clip (about 10 hrs walking the streets of NYC - I was like, OMG, that's crazy... but I think, I am getting now some insight on what You folks are experiencing). Now, here one might get some unwanted attention if seen as LGBT, but well, being 5'9" I dont really experience that. I cannot project that aura or presence and danger anymore, but I use that calm and peaceful stare now (You know, I am not presenting a danger to You but I am not afraid of You either) whenever I sense those curious stares upon me. Just make them know that their attention is detected and is unwanted. Works fine - at least so far .

Uh - huh, it works for me too hon, that's what I mean by having a certain presence!

I am comfortable in my social presentation most of the time, unless triggered by.a type of male I find belligerent and offensive.  But where I dig the new threads, the new look, the new me, the more contagious that is for others.  When it's real, not faked, it seems to work.

That's on strong days.  I have some other days, still very emotional.

An awful lot of girls seem to like my boots....

Maybe eyes will drop someday too.  I'd rather enjoy that.

But I have had it with harrassment, and will respond with something swift, reflexively like when the guys criticized my boots.  That sure didn't last long. 

Quote from: Satinjoy on November 10, 2014, 07:54:04 PM
I am comfortable in my social presentation most of the time, unless triggered by.a type of male I find belligerent and offensive.  But where I dig the new threads, the new look, the new me, the more contagious that is for others.  When it's real, not faked, it seems to work.

That's on strong days.  I have some other days, still very emotional.

An awful lot of girls seem to like my boots....

Maybe eyes will drop someday too.  I'd rather enjoy that.

But I have had it with harrassment, and will respond with something swift, reflexively like when the guys criticized my boots.  That sure didn't last long. 

Wow, I'm really surprised and encouraged by the responses I'm reading here.

I'm curious if cis and trans binary women would confirm or deny that it's possible to have a particular "don't-mess-with-me aura" that keeps the pigs at bay.

Not that I've noticed, even with skateboard and headphones people still bother me.

That would be then a compliment.  I think.  I like your style df, you have guts.
Blessings
Satinjoy

When I dress feminine I brace myself for cat calls, stares, and being followed or cornered. When I dress masculine I brace myself for a whole lotta nothin. (unless there's a police officer. At night.) I haven't had the nerve to dress full on queer yet, so I don't know what kind of reaction that gets.

There definitely is a "Don't mess with me aura" and you learn to have it very quickly when you dress femininely. Especially in the summer when you don't want to wear as much. I will be more conscientious about how forceful my presence is, and will intentionally wear a b*tch face.

Quote from: AnonBear on November 11, 2014, 10:10:49 PM
When I dress feminine I brace myself for cat calls, stares, and being followed or cornered. When I dress masculine I brace myself for a whole lotta nothin. (unless there's a police officer. At night.) I haven't had the nerve to dress full on queer yet, so I don't know what kind of reaction that gets.

There definitely is a "Don't mess with me aura" and you learn to have it very quickly when you dress femininely. Especially in the summer when you don't want to wear as much. I will be more conscientious about how forceful my presence is, and will intentionally wear a b*tch face.

I'm a pretty outgoing chatty personality and women usually feel quite comfortable in my presence, but when I see a woman with the "bitch face" and body language to match, I instantly go (Whoa don't go there dummy, it isn't going to be pleasant if you do!) I have one of those stone faced looks that I can flash instantly that says (Careful, this person may be dangerous) It works well when the circumstances warrant it.

Resting bitch face can work, until someone tells you that you'd look prettier if you smiled

Quote from: Dread_Faery on November 12, 2014, 11:03:46 AM
Resting bitch face can work, until someone tells you that you'd look prettier if you smiled

Oh always true, but smiling doesn't disarm the other person in a threatening situation like mean looks do.

Quote from: Dread_Faery on November 12, 2014, 11:03:46 AM
Resting bitch face can work, until someone tells you that you'd look prettier if you smiled

Telling one they would look "prettier" if they smiled is, in itself, sexual harassment.  Just saying.


Erin