I just realised that I am really all alone, I have nobody just another hopeless lost soul, who has no future, who has nothing,  I will forever be in the dark.

I managed to amaze myself at how I'm both ugly, stupid and useless.

My life is meaningless, I know for a fact that when I die no one will care.

Like I was told once I am a friendless loser, it's funny how I fear death and at the same time ! I want to die.

I want to stop fooling myself, and know there is no hope, ->-bleeped-<- hope.

I'm nothing more than a bother, a socially inept and it shows everywhere I go.

I hate myself, not in the broader spectrum because everyone always wants joy for themselves, I guess I just don't want to be me anymore.

I've let myself down, I still remember standing on the ledge of the roof of my apartment building, over the railing, one step would have either meant I would be a cripple or I would be dead....it was a beautiful sight

You are not alone. 
There are several people who pray for you every day.
You will get through this and you will be happier.
TJ

You are neither ugly nor useless. You have friends here who do care what happens too you.

If you are having these feelings please call a helpline, let people help you through this darkness.

I said it in a pm and I'll say it here too I would feel blessed to look as good as you do, don't let anyone especially yourself tell you that you are not pretty.

You know that this will pass and you know that, once it does, we will keep chatting about comics, movies, tv shows, how life's going, etc. And I will keep teasing you because that's what I do with friends.

Quote from: Donna Troy on November 08, 2014, 07:03:30 PM
Like I was told once I am a friendless loser

Have I ever told you about one of the many times I was told this? It had been a really good day up until then. For once, I was able to put my paranoia aside and just enjoy hanging out with a friend. We later met up with some other friends. Then a former friend from high school and her boyfriend showed up. Next thing I know everyone is abandoning me and the boyfriend (who I had only met a handful of times) is telling me that everyone hates me. No one stood up for me. Only one person so much as apologized.
This was not the first nor the last time something like this happened. I've spent my entire life being the only person I could rely on. For awhile, I struggled with agoraphobia because I expected pain from everyone. So believe me when I say I know what it's like to be friendless and alone. I know what it's like to be trapped by fear and the cycle of being lonely, but being unable to make friends because I was too afraid.
Take baby steps. Don't overwhelm yourself, but step a bit out of your comfort zone. The more you keep at it, the easier it will get. If life is meaningless, then give it meaning.

Quote from: Hanazono on November 09, 2014, 01:49:15 AM
tell yourself these lies often enough  and soon you'll believe them as irrefutable truth

^That.

Don't make yourself believe those miserable making thoughts > _ <.

If your avatar is You then you are absolutely beautiful and you need to start believing in Yourself .If I looked a Quarter as good as You I would be over the Moon and proud as punch

Quote from: Donna Troy on November 08, 2014, 07:03:30 PM
I just realised that I am really all alone, I have nobody just another hopeless lost soul, who has no future, who has nothing,  I will forever be in the dark.

I managed to amaze myself at how I'm both ugly, stupid and useless.

My life is meaningless, I know for a fact that when I die no one will care.

Like I was told once I am a friendless loser, it's funny how I fear death and at the same time ! I want to die.

I want to stop fooling myself, and know there is no hope, ->-bleeped-<- hope.

I'm nothing more than a bother, a socially inept and it shows everywhere I go.

I hate myself, not in the broader spectrum because everyone always wants joy for themselves, I guess I just don't want to be me anymore.

I've let myself down, I still remember standing on the ledge of the roof of my apartment building, over the railing, one step would have either meant I would be a cripple or I would be dead....it was a beautiful sight

Hugs Donna. Please remember that there are a lot of special things about you that your depression is preventing you from seeing. Depression is like a fog - it prevents us from seeing the positive parts about life. It shows us a bleak and hopeless world when reality is much more positive.

I hear your unhappiness. But you are not alone. We're here.

I can understand where you are coming from. Been there all my life. As a female I was ridiculed and treated like a adult toy per say. Now as I transition to male, I am treated as a freak. I have learned not to give the bullies the privilege of seeing me cry. I tell them I am human, and have every right to be where I am, and dress as I please. If they don't like the way I look they can turn around an look the other way. I try not to let thier problem become mine. It is not easy, it is not comfortable, but I will be darned if I will let them win by seeing my tears. I save those inside me and keep them private and share only with the people in my life that truly matter. In the end they (the bullies) are not who you end up living with, they have to live with themselves and you have to live with you. Hold your head up an be proud of you I know I am.

Quote from: Donna Troy on November 08, 2014, 07:03:30 PM
I just realised that I am really all alone, I have nobody just another hopeless lost soul, who has no future, who has nothing,  I will forever be in the dark.

Only if you keep this mindset and fail to see someone who can help you. Part of being an adult is when we have a problem we are responsible for correcting it. You do have support here, but you fail to accept it and that is on you. Please find someone to talk to about this soon.

Donna,

If your avatar is really you, if I looked a quarter as good, I wouldn't be using this silly cartoon. You have soooo much going for you. Please get some help.

Remember as long as there is life, there is hope. I had to tell myself that a lot. You still have hope and from the responses, a lot of people here who care for you.

HUGGGS!