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if you could take a pill to stop Dysphoria with out changes would you

Started by stephaniec, November 14, 2014, 03:41:57 PM

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Jaime R D

Before it got bad enough that I had to transition, yes, I would have. Because let's face it, life is a hell of a lot easier when one isn't trans. But now that I'm ten years in, no, going backwards would be troublesome at best.
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littleredrobinhood

Gosh, skimming through the responses.. I feel like I'm the only one who would honestly consider it.  :icon_sadblinky:

Personally, I don't believe that removing dysphoria removes the identity (obviously. I mean otherwise you'd no longer identify as that gender after transition). Rather, the identity (plus body mismatch) causes the dysphoria. But I don't believe that it always results in dysphoria.

As for me, I do experience dysphoria.. But I'm starting to feel like there's no "cure", in my case.  :icon_frown: Yes, transitioning would remove the dysphoria.. but I feel like it would also cause dysphoria, because I feel male and female.

And for that reason, I think that yes.. I would take the pill. My male identity would remain, but it's existence would no longer cause me pain.
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stephaniec

I don't  know what the  h### I would do, this cra$  started when I was 4 .I've lived a lifetime of torment .  I would of preferred transitioning at 4,but it was the era of institutions and aversion therapy. I had no way to get  the help I needed. I wasn't able to reach out to anyone until life meant absolutely nothing to me. so, I don't know what I would of done, but this is who I  am and I'm leaving this planet the same way I came in as a transgender
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Jess42

Quote from: stephaniec on November 16, 2014, 06:47:05 PM
I don't  know what the  h### I would do, this cra$  started when I was 4 .I've lived a lifetime of torment .  I would of preferred transitioning at 4,but it was the era of institutions and aversion therapy. I had no way to get  the help I needed. I wasn't able to reach out to anyone until life meant absolutely nothing to me. so, I don't know what I would of done, but this is who I  am and I'm leaving this planet the same way I came in as a transgender

This is gonna sound so messed up on so many levels and a big freakin' cliche', but steel, to be as strong as it is, has to be tempered by fire. If not all you have is iron that will bend and break. I would think that who we are and who we become would have to be the result of the hell that nature, life, or something way deeper heaped on us. Or just chance. No if I was a real man I wouldn't be me. Who I would be if I was Cis is a mystery, but that isn't important. Probably the least important thing in my life. I really think the dysphoria and being trans and all the other crap that comes with it, has made me more caring, more compassionate, more empathetic, more loving, more forgiving, a little deeper thinking and an inner understanding of myself and self identity.

Actually the pill would make me fake. It would change the inside to match the outside and the outside isn't who I am.
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Assoluta

I wouldn't take that pill, because I'd be effectively killing myself, and replacing myself with a fundamentally different person (i.e. different gender) so no.
It takes balls to go through SRS!

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Steph34

Quote from: Jess42 on November 17, 2014, 07:42:13 AMI really think the dysphoria and being trans and all the other crap that comes with it, has made me more caring, more compassionate, more empathetic, more loving, more forgiving, a little deeper thinking and an inner understanding of myself and self identity.

Actually the pill would make me fake. It would change the inside to match the outside and the outside isn't who I am.

I agree; the self-exploration that comes with this has made me much more open-minded and changed my whole attitude towards others. Because, when I was in self-denial, I always hated people and I think it was because I hated myself. I have always wanted to be female at least since I was 5; being unable to express that turned me into a sad, lonely, and hateful person. Now, I feel like you described above. I think the hormonal changes help with this, too; it cannot be attributed entirely to our experiences. My gender is a fundamental part of me and a pill to change it would be the death of my true self; I would not take it even if someone offered me $1,000,000 to do so.
Accepted i was transgender December 2008
Started HRT Summer 2014
Name Change Winter 2017
Never underestimate the power of estradiol or the people who have it.
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Jess42

Quote from: Steph34 on November 17, 2014, 07:55:41 AM
I agree; the self-exploration that comes with this has made me much more open-minded and changed my whole attitude towards others. Because, when I was in self-denial, I always hated people and I think it was because I hated myself. I have always wanted to be female at least since I was 5; being unable to express that turned me into a sad, lonely, and hateful person. Now, I feel like you described above. I think the hormonal changes help with this, too; it cannot be attributed entirely to our experiences. My gender is a fundamental part of me and a pill to change it would be the death of my true self; I would not take it even if someone offered me $1,000,000 to do so.

I say this all the time but until we can accept ourselves, we can't accept others. If we can't at least like ourselves, we'll never be able to love others.

There are a lot of people that hate themselves. You see it everyday in the way that they hate others.  They may not even know it. But usually what others hate or dispise in someone else is what they hate and dispise most about themselves. I really don't really care for society too much because society tends to force what it thinks as normal on everyone. But individual people that may hate me, they were conditioned and maybe just maybe a little part of what makes me who I am is inside them too and that is what they hate. :-\ It wouldn't be the first time.
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JenLotus

Pfff. I'd rather have my body like this, but then again I'm not sure if the compulsion would be the same without dysphoria? I'm pretty keen on having breasts. >_>

Dysphoria is pretty normal, hormones are normal, trans is normal. What's not normal is denying part of you exists and wants to be heard. Dysphoria can be the instigator to motivate some to transition and live their lives.
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JulieM

I don't think the dysphoria is a single thing that can be turned off. I'm dysphoric because I have the wrong body. My dysphoria is a symptom and not the problem. Maybe my perception of it could be dulled or masked, but the fundamental problem is the me part of me doesn't match the physical shell. Changing the right me to match the wrong shell isn't something I'd want to do.

I want the other pill. :)
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Lostkitten

What would the pill do though, make me happy in the born body or give me the 'new' body?

I grew up and became who I am now also because of my dysphoria. No it is not an amusing thing but from the other side I learned so much of it. I became a much more open minded and accepting person because of it. I became more creative and gotten a lot more confidence, by accepting who I am.

Taking away the dysphoria also takes away all of that, the good things it gave me. So.. neh, I rather just be who I am and struggle with some difficulties.
:D Want to see me ramble, talk about experiences or explaining about gender dysphoria? :D
http://thedifferentperspectives3000.blogspot.nl/
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JenLotus

Quote from: Kirey on November 18, 2014, 06:30:56 AM
What would the pill do though, make me happy in the born body or give me the 'new' body?

I grew up and became who I am now also because of my dysphoria. No it is not an amusing thing but from the other side I learned so much of it. I became a much more open minded and accepting person because of it. I became more creative and gotten a lot more confidence, by accepting who I am.

Taking away the dysphoria also takes away all of that, the good things it gave me. So.. neh, I rather just be who I am and struggle with some difficulties.
I agree with this so much.

I wouldn't be who I am today, appreciate myself, others, friends, and life as I do if I hadn't had the experiences that defined what hurt me.
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Sephirah

At one point I would have said never in a million years, but now... yes. Yes I would.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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stephaniec

Quote from: Sephirah on November 18, 2014, 01:48:17 PM
At one point I would have said never in a million years, but now... yes. Yes I would.
it can get to be quite challenging
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JenniR04

I agree with Kirey and JenLotus ....... I don't think I would as tempting as it may be. So much of this struggle and journey has taught me so much about myself, my friends and family, and so much else. I don't think I would trade my compassion, understanding and acceptance that I've learned throughout all of this.
"Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one. Sometimes, those who fly solo have the strongest wings!"
Hugs, Jenni R.



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amber roskamp

no I want more then anything to be seen as a women and to look in the mirror and see a women... Like if my dysphoria over gender was gone because I took a pill, I would lose the opportunity to be the person that I am inside. My dysphoria is such a heavy burden but it is also a driving force. My dysphoria has made me stronger. caused me  to look past what society views  me as in order let the real me exist.

With all that being said dysphoria sucks....
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Sheila Grace


_______________________________________________________________________________________________ What elegant responses to a great question. Unlike many of you, I came to understand this dynamic later in life (just turned 64). The pieces were all there, but they were not coherent. When it all clicked, and I knew what this was, I was euphoric. I remember telling my SO, "You don't understand, I not only feel like a woman, I AM a woman." It was a spiritual experience; and, I see this, in my life as a calling. I am not religious, but I know now what it feels to be called to do or be something. If I could take a pill, I would not, because it would deny me the best part of my being human.  Blessings and hugs, Sheila Grace
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
I am an older MTF in transition. Currently negotiating this time of life with my SO of many years. I am PT and on HRT.



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Lady_Oracle

Simply removing dysphoria for me wouldn't end my constant questioning about my identity. So no I wouldn't take that pill because it would just make it harder to find the source of my confusion.

In a way I lived like that when puberty hit at 13. I didn't know what dysphoria was and couldn't understand why I still didn't feel right, which led to the beginning of my depression. Before that I was pretty happy as a kid but at the same time dealt with a lot of "weird moments"
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Nevara

Honestly yes I would take it. I'm stopping my transition so I'm a bit biased but still.

I've come to realize transitioning would lose me my friends and family, and likely derail my career as well. I probably already lost the friends I've told... if not made my relationship extremely strained. Ultimately I'm just replacing the negative feelings I feel from dysphoria with negativity from losing my relationships, support network, being alone and leaving myself in an uncertain financial situation.

What it also comes down to is that I don't think transitioning will fix my dysphoria, at least not fully.

The only thing HRT has dealt with so far was my hormonal dysphoria which has been a blessing but I'll take the short time I was on hormones as a chance to experience true calmness in my life and move on.

My body dysphoria is only going to get worse if I transition as I realize how much I don't look like a woman --- body-wise or face-wise or voice-wise. Sure hormones will help fat redistribution but it can do nothing about my male skeleton. It can do nothing about my male facial structure. It won't ever give me back a high pitched voice. I can try my voice but that feels so forced and fake. Ultimately everything I do towards "passing" just reminds me how I am a fake woman. To be accepted as a real woman by society I'd have to subject myself to surgeries to fix my face, my voice and my body.

And ultimately, my social dysphoria is never going to go away until I do reach that point of "passing" and I can be accepted as a woman. I know some of you have this "who gives a <not allowed>" attitude, but when my family tells me they see non-passing trans woman as freaks and they and my friends are embarrassed to be with me in public if I present as a woman I don't see the point in transitioning. What am I gaining by destroying all my relationships and becoming a social pariah? It's certainly not my mental health.
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Rose City Rose

When my dysphoria hit its crisis phase in 2011-2013 I would have said "yes, give me the pill!"

But now, almost past the point of actively transitioning altogether, I'd say no.  Allowing myself to be a woman rather than forcing myself to be a man has changed my perspective drastically.  I learn a little more each day about the highs and lows of being a woman and I think it's made me a better person for having lived fully in two distinctly different gender roles in my lifetime.

Also I have to say, I love putting together cute outfits!  It just wasn't as fun when I was trying to be a guy. ;D
*Started HRT January 2013
*Name and gender marker changed September 2014
*Approved and issued letters for surgery September 2015
*Surgery Consultation November 2015
*Preop electrolysis October 2016-March 2019
*GRS April 3 2019
I DID IT!!!
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Laurette Mohr

15 years ago I would have said hell yes. Today not on your life.
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