I work in an office building in a large room full of desktop computers. There are numerous rows of desks with an aisle in the middle of the room to get to the various rows of desks in the room. As I am one of the administrators in this office area responsible for the upkeep of all the various IT equipment; I get a seat in the row furtherest from the door in the back corner, as it has extra space to store extra bits and pieces.

I am not out to anyone at work and dress in male smart office business attire which is a button down shirt smart trousers and if the a/c is playing up a v-neck jumper (sweater) too.

Virtually everyone that enters the room looks in the direction of wherever they are going ie if they are going to sit in their desk that is where they'd look, unless of course they are lost or looking for someone. Except one guy. He's been working here for the last few months and he too sits at the back row at the opposing back corner of the office. Virtually every time he walks down that middle aisle to get to his desk or walk away from it to get to the exit, he'd look my way and it kind of creeps me out as to why he does it. Anyone else working in an office environment get this kind of staring too?

Attraction possibly. Either that or this person is trans themselves and wondering if you are. We do identify each other very quickly. I am going to watch this with a little more interest to see how others respond. 

He could be paranoid. Like looking around. Or has some sort of vibe from you. Or wants to catch someone not working to report to superiors so he can feel powerful.

Or you may be closer to coming out than you think.  I spent over a year in guy stealth mode, at the end It was becoming kind of silly. Shaped brows, sports bras, manicures eventually get noticed.  He may just be the least circumspect of many.  I wouldn't worry unless he gets pushy.  After a while you get used to being checked out, its just sort of a girldom thing.

Julie

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on November 17, 2014, 09:12:41 AM
Attraction possibly. Either that or this person is trans themselves and wondering if you are. We do identify each other very quickly. I am going to watch this with a little more interest to see how others respond. 

I agree totally. Either attraction or trans.

Quote from: JulieBlair on November 17, 2014, 11:02:56 AM
Or you may be closer to coming out than you think.  I spent over a year in guy stealth mode, at the end It was becoming kind of silly. Shaped brows, sports bras, manicures eventually get noticed.  He may just be the least circumspect of many.  I wouldn't worry unless he gets pushy.  After a while you get used to being checked out, its just sort of a girldom thing.

Julie

I agree with this too. There is only so far that you are going to be able to go and get away with staying in guy mode.

Just my three cents on the subject though. Next time you see him looking just say Hi or Good Morning. People looking shouldn't creep you out unless they are looking at you creepily. WHo Knows? You may make a friend.

Saying "hi" is a great idea .Speaking to him and watching his reaction will reveal his motives. It could be that he's unsure why a pretty woman is dressed in man clothes or that he heard about you from someone else or that he does find you attractive....

Ok, just to clarify a few things up...

The guy in question that is doing the staring is known to me. He currently works on another team, but will be joining mine at the end of the month. He is married with kids, so I doubt he's flirting with me or some kind of attraction ritual. We've spoken before, it's not like nobody talks to anyone else in the room. I don't honesty think he's trying to check up on my work load, he'd have to walk up real close to figure out what I was doing at my desk.

I'm still none the wiser, short of catching him at a quiet moment in the office and directly asking him why; however confrontation like that is not my style.

Maybe he does suspect I am trans, but it's been months since he started working here and there have been quiet moments in the office where he could have asked, but hasn't so I really don't know.

Maybe he doesn't know you are trans but humans have a tendency to look at stuff that seems "off".  You go to work in guy mode (more like male fail mode if you ask me) yet you look like a woman. So his mind is, shall we say, a bit messed with when he sees this "man" at work who looks like a woman.

Quote from: Leila on November 18, 2014, 03:04:22 PMHe is married with kids, so I doubt he's flirting with me or some kind of attraction ritual.

Being married has never really stopped a someone from looking and/or flirting.

Quote from: KarinMcD on November 18, 2014, 03:56:06 PM
Being married has never really stopped a someone from looking and/or flirting.

Sadly that can be true too, I suppose I'm just hoping it is not in this case. I am happily with someone else and don't need this kind of attention.

are you on HRT

Quote from: Leila on November 17, 2014, 09:00:43 AM
I work in an office building in a large room full of desktop computers. There are numerous rows of desks with an aisle in the middle of the room to get to the various rows of desks in the room. As I am one of the administrators in this office area responsible for the upkeep of all the various IT equipment; I get a seat in the row furtherest from the door in the back corner, as it has extra space to store extra bits and pieces.

I am not out to anyone at work and dress in male smart office business attire which is a button down shirt smart trousers and if the a/c is playing up a v-neck jumper (sweater) too.

Virtually everyone that enters the room looks in the direction of wherever they are going ie if they are going to sit in their desk that is where they'd look, unless of course they are lost or looking for someone. Except one guy. He's been working here for the last few months and he too sits at the back row at the opposing back corner of the office. Virtually every time he walks down that middle aisle to get to his desk or walk away from it to get to the exit, he'd look my way and it kind of creeps me out as to why he does it. Anyone else working in an office environment get this kind of staring too?

If it creeps you, it is because he is a creep... do not doubt your instincts.. keep an eye on the creep...

Quote from: stephaniec on November 18, 2014, 08:34:30 PM
are you on HRT

Yes, coming onto 13 months now.

Quote from: JulieBlair on November 17, 2014, 11:02:56 AM
Or you may be closer to coming out than you think.  I spent over a year in guy stealth mode, at the end It was becoming kind of silly. Shaped brows, sports bras, manicures eventually get noticed.  He may just be the least circumspect of many.  I wouldn't worry unless he gets pushy.  After a while you get used to being checked out, its just sort of a girldom thing.

Julie

My thoughts too.
Just relax and dont sweat it. I remember being stared at when shopping and or whatever, people are just curious i think most of the time.

Quote from: Leila on November 18, 2014, 10:49:25 PM
Yes, coming onto 13 months now.

I'm at 13 too and my face has changed quite a lot

One thing i have learned on my journey is that people (especially guys) will stare. Women will stare critically while men's stares tend to fall into the creepy or lecherous category. I believe that most of these stares are not malicious and i've just decided to go about my day and ignore them for the most part. The staring used to wig me out but now I think that if they want to stare at me then they can be my guest 

However, as women, we do have that 6th sense that tells us when something is not quite right - in your case listen to that sense if it's telling you that something might be wrong with this guy and his staring. If you sense danger then try to avoid him, or keep notes about his staring for HR should you ever need them. Maybe you can invest in a personal protection device of some sort if they are legal in your state just to be safe.

It happens. If I worn my standard uniform to get a man I be stared at all day. Men are visual beings.

It doesnt mean im hot. It just mean guys like looking.

2 guys gave the look today and I was in full blown man clothing... humans are bisexual.... humans are like Ancient Rome.

Its hard to define but the look is like penetrating.

Quote from: Wild Flower on November 19, 2014, 04:28:10 AM
2 guys gave the look today and I was in full blown man clothing... humans are bisexual.... humans are like Ancient Rome.

Its hard to define but the look is like penetrating.

Yep, and to me it totally creeps me out.   

If it creeps you out now, prepare to be creeped out a lot more when you are full time and out. Full time here since September and the guys staring thing is something I'm still not used to, and it happens almost every day. And heck, I'm an older woman!