I've been transitioning MtF, off and on, since December 2012.

I'm to the point where I look more feminine than masculine. I'm constantly being referred to as a girl. It's really awkward being seen as a girl, then having to tell someone my masculine name.

I'm ready to change my name and gender, but I have an emotional connection with my male name. I was named after my grandfather, whom I hold in high regard. I feel like changing this name would be a slap in the face to him.

There isn't a feminized version of his name, that I particularly like, though there is a female name I had chosen for our future first daughter, that starts with the same letter, and kind of fits. But my girlfriend and I had already agreed that was to be our daughter's name.

This has been eating at me for awhile now, and I don't know what to do.

My family isn't supportive of my transition, so changing my name can and probably will escalate tensions.

What about your grandmother's name?  Grandfather's mother's name?  A feminized version of your grandfather's middle name?

A feminized form of his name? A new name with the same first letter or the same general sound/pronunciation?

Like John, for example, you can go with:

Joanne, Joan, or Josie.

Can you make an anagram out of it?  I love anagrams.

And if your family isn't supportive of your transition already, will a name change really make things that much worse?

Also, if you want to reproduce and you are on HRT, you need to bank sperm before it's too late.

Hugs,
Jill

You could just f with the gender system and keep your name a la Zackary Drucker.  Or just make it your middle name.

I have a cousin named after my grandmother.

I would have been named after his mother if I was born with female genitalia, but it's a very uncommon name that would make me stand out more than I'd like.

My grandfather's middle name doesn't have a female equivalent either.

The name for my future daughter is a shortened anagram. Perhaps my girlfriend would consider letting me take that name?

I had been going by my grandfather's sister's name... But it's similar to my girlfriend's and got confusing and awkward.

Has anyone else been named after someone, and had to face this?



OT: I'm going on and off of the Estradiol to keep myself fertile. My doctor has been monitoring me. I have considered sperm banking, so I can stay on the Estradiol longterm.

Quote from: bxcellent2eo on November 18, 2014, 11:23:42 PM
Has anyone else been named after someone, and had to face this?

I am a Jr.  The scariest thing about coming out to my Dad was telling him I was going to legally abandon his name.  It is a little painful for him, but he understands.  I'm just feminizing my middle name to leave some connection.

Quote from: skin on November 18, 2014, 11:30:34 PM
I am a Jr.  The scariest thing about coming out to my Dad was telling him I was going to legally abandon his name.  It is a little painful for him, but he understands.  I'm just feminizing my middle name to leave some connection.

Wow. If I could +rep! I would.

The more I think about it, possibly adding a feminine name to the beginning, and keeping my current names as 2 middle names, sounds like the way to go. Both of my current first and middle first names were taken from my grandfather and great-grandfather, respectfully. That way I don't lose that either of their names.

Now I just have to decide on a new first name... Decisions decisions.

In a lucky twist of fate I was named after my great-grandmother (albeit the male version of her name) so I am more than happy with Johanna. My mother decided on my new middle name, Rose is much nicer than patricia at least in my eyes :p
...
Sometimes turn of the century names show their age XD

My Great Grandfather (who was a Grandfather to me as my grandfather abandoned my mom and her brother when she was 2 years old and was a father to my mother) had a name that was gender neutral, but now mostly a girls name "Madison". He was the only male figure that allowed me to be myself when I was little. (I used to love to do ceramics with my Great Grandmother when I would stay with her in the summer.) He meant a lot to me and I was his favorite. He passed away when I was 18 about 3 months after I had just moved from NY to TN to attend college in the same town he and my Great Grandmother lived in. Even though he developed Alzheimer's, I was glad to spend some time with he before he passed away.  I decided to use his name as my middle name as it just seemed to fit some reason. After I picked the name, my mom said that it would had been my middle name if I had been born with female parts. (She would have picked "Leslie" and my first name, but I didn't care for it.) My mom liked the names I picked. Neither my birth first name or middle name could be feminized, which is ironic since my mom, father and brother all have gender neutral names.

One of the things my dad has a HUGE problem with is that I'm going to change my name, because he named me after my grandfather (who he himself is also named after).

Honestly?

It's something I've never understood about men. "I will name my son after this great man/my self because ..." it will, what? Rub off on him or something?

I just ... Maybe this is cold on my part? But I just roll my eyes. I chose my name. I did give my parents the option to suggest changes if they so chose (my mom is fine with the name I chose and my dad is still going "But but but ... the name you have has meaning! It's the name of a man's man!").

So, I'm sticking with the name I've chosen for myself. It's now my name in every possible way, and eventually it will be my legal name.

My dad is just going to have to deal with the fact that I'm my own person.

Quote from: Amy The Bookworm on November 19, 2014, 12:45:45 AM
One of the things my dad has a HUGE problem with is that I'm going to change my name, because he named me after my grandfather (who he himself is also named after).

.........

I chose my name. I did give my parents the option to suggest changes if they so chose (my mom is fine with the name I chose and my dad is still going "But but but ... the name you have has meaning! It's the name of a man's man!").

You should say to him, that you are now his daughter. Would you want to name your daughter after a very masculine name?

That may set up a trigger with him though as clearly he is still seeing you as his son and not his daughter, otherwise he wouldn't get hung up on it.

Quote from: Sydney_NYC on November 19, 2014, 12:55:10 AM
You should say to him, that you are now his daughter. Would you want to name your daughter after a very masculine name?

That may set up a trigger with him though as clearly he is still seeing you as his son and not his daughter, otherwise he wouldn't get hung up on it.

Oh I've said that more than once. He just doesn't seem to grasp it. At the moment, I'm just happy he still talks to me (I'm 34, so it would be very easy for him to just not talk to me anymore since I live half way across the country from him). At the moment that's all I want. It's probably going to take him to see me in full on girl mode, 2 years of HRT, a dress, and speech perfected before it clicks for him. Same with my twin brother who keeps saying "you know, I'm never going to be able to call you Amy, right?"

I just talked to my girlfriend, and she's fine with me using that name for myself.

I think it'll give me a female name, but I'll be keeping both masculine names as not to disgrace my grandfather and great-grandfather.

Thank you all for your helpful replies. I'd +rep if I could.

 

I could have kept "Ryan" as a name as I know some girls who are named that. But I hate it so I'm going to change it.