I've heard from several sources that it's possible to do a sort of trial or test run of HRT. The purpose is to decide if you'd like to continue with it, depending on how it makes you feel. You only do it for 1-2 months (or is it weeks??) and if you don't like it, you stop after that. If you do like it, then you proceed as normal, and it isn't a trial anymore.

I was wondering if anyone here had experienced one such "trial" run??

I'm asking because I know there are certain irreversible changes. I don't mind clitoral growth or voice deepening, but I don't think my husband is ready to live married to a bearded, muscular "woman" yet. Is a test run of T even doable? Is it more likely that it lasts 2 weeks instead of months?

To make a long story short, I'm currently unable to commit to HRT over a long period of time (relationship issues), but I really want to try it out so that I know whether or not I should even be considering it as an option in the long run. The previous plan was to wait a year and then see if I still felt like taking it, but we've agreed to a different plan that would require me to wait longer, and I can't stand having that unknown hanging over my head.

Note that if I weren't in a relationship, I'd either be on T already, or would have a definite plan for starting HRT soon. It's not that I'm unsure, more that I'm compromising. He is compromising by agreeing to the trial run idea.

I'm not on t myself, so I don't have any first hand experience.

The problem with t is, there's no telling ultimately how quickly changes are going to happen. If you start on a very low dose, changes are likely going to be slower (maybe a lot slower). But it really depends on how your body reacts.

That said, I may be in a similar situation and I'm playing with the idea of starting very low dose to get a few changes to help with my dysphoria (voice would be a great start), with the option of stopping if my husband can't handle it.

I personally won't, in good conscience, advise anyone to use T for a "trial run".  I simply disagree with using medical intervention as a part of self-exploration.  Not sure if you'll find a doctor who would even prescribe it for anyone to "try out".

I agree with adrian in that it's impossible to know what changes you could get from 1-2 months as it has to do with genetics more than anything.  1-2 weeks is just not even worth it because it's unlikely you'd experience anything at all other than possible mood swings, hot flushes and the otherwise unpleasant adjustment phase. 

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on November 16, 2014, 06:01:47 AM
I personally won't, in good conscience, advise anyone to use T for a "trial run".  I simply disagree with using medical intervention as a part of self-exploration. 

I hear you, which is why I tried to get across that if I didn't need to compromise with someone who doesn't want to see me transition, it wouldn't be a mere trial run. But I talk a lot, so maybe that was lost.

FWIW I heard this several times while researching HRT and SRS, including from the therapist who runs The Transition Channel on youtube. It's not just my idea. The point (they say) is to feel the psychological changes. I thought if this is a thing that is sometimes recommended, I'd be interested in hearing from someone who had that experience. I can't say I'd necessarily do it, but I thought it might be helpful to know if this is a viable option to ease some of the pain of dysphoria/compromise.

i'd classify myself in the minority that experiences noticeable changes within the first week...and you may be the same way, so a trial run may not be a smart idea. i'm definitely blown away at my body's response to t, but i'll take it.

question: if your husband is against it, is the relationship worth it? i do not want to belittle your relationship, but ultimately this comes down to your emotional well being. please don't live for someone else...live for you.

I have to agree with palexander (and others on this board) I think that seeing a therapist with experience with gender dysphoria would give you greater long term benefits than a trial run of testosterone.

If you believe that you would already be on testosterone except for your husband, I think you both need to do some soul searching. Of course partnerships take work and compromise, but all of us have certain crucial, non-negotiable things in our lives. Gender is a very deep and personal thing that most people need to be correct in their lives, and if you find this to be true for you, your husband needs to respect that.

Quote from: palexander on November 16, 2014, 07:34:10 PMquestion: if your husband is against it, is the relationship worth it? i do not want to belittle your relationship, but ultimately this comes down to your emotional well being. please don't live for someone else...live for you.

I appreciate your concern. There have been a lot of discussions and agreements between us that I haven't shared here on the forum. I'll talk about them tomorrow because it's a heavy topic and I'm getting ready for bed now.

Because I know how unpredictable and irreversible T changes are, I wonder if those people who suggested a hormone trial were only talking about estrogen. That wouldn't be very nice of them to say "hormones" if they meant "estrogen"

Well, the mental and emotional changes brought on by T take quite a while to actually set in, and happen gradually over time. For the first...maybe 6 weeks I was on injections I actually felt pretty weird as my body was still trying to make its own hormones. Honestly I just don't think a trial run, especially one that short, would do much for you beyond perhaps a placebo effect. Which of course would go away once you had to stop.

Quote from: palexander on November 16, 2014, 07:34:10 PM
i'd classify myself in the minority that experiences noticeable changes within the first week...and you may be the same way, so a trial run may not be a smart idea. i'm definitely blown away at my body's response to t, but i'll take it.

question: if your husband is against it, is the relationship worth it? i do not want to belittle your relationship, but ultimately this comes down to your emotional well being. please don't live for someone else...live for you.

As someone who is in the same situation as Luca I just wanted to say that this is a very very difficult decision. It's one that for me, at the moment, is impossible to make because my emotional well-being is very much dependant on my husband as well. When I try to look at it from an outsider's perspective I too would say, I need to put myself first. But from the inside perspective it's not as easy as that.

Sorry for the OT.

Quote from: Polo on November 16, 2014, 09:00:59 PM
I have to agree with palexander (and others on this board) I think that seeing a therapist with experience with gender dysphoria would give you greater long term benefits than a trial run of testosterone.

If you believe that you would already be on testosterone except for your husband, I think you both need to do some soul searching. Of course partnerships take work and compromise, but all of us have certain crucial, non-negotiable things in our lives. Gender is a very deep and personal thing that most people need to be correct in their lives, and if you find this to be true for you, your husband needs to respect that.

agreed.

Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on November 16, 2014, 11:12:22 PM
I appreciate your concern. There have been a lot of discussions and agreements between us that I haven't shared here on the forum. I'll talk about them tomorrow because it's a heavy topic and I'm getting ready for bed now.

Because I know how unpredictable and irreversible T changes are, I wonder if those people who suggested a hormone trial were only talking about estrogen. That wouldn't be very nice of them to say "hormones" if they meant "estrogen"

i'm happy that you two are talking it out! it must be a lot for him to take in, though; hence his hesitation and initial fear. have you tried imagining what the situation would be like for him? i mean, for most of us on susans, we'd accept our partner without flinching. i can see how it would be rough to have a wife and then a husband instead? please don't take this the wrong way, i'm just trying to understand both of you!

that's possible! have you researched further?

Quote from: adrian on November 16, 2014, 11:59:37 PM

As someone who is in the same situation as Luca I just wanted to say that this is a very very difficult decision. It's one that for me, at the moment, is impossible to make because my emotional well-being is very much dependant on my husband as well. When I try to look at it from an outsider's perspective I too would say, I need to put myself first. But from the inside perspective it's not as easy as that.

Sorry for the OT.

i never said that it was an easy decision, just something to consider. of course the situation is going to be insanely difficult, but i also cannot see someone, who truly loves the other, walking away because of something that cannot be changed.

I agree with what the others have said, but there's also something else to think about.

Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on November 15, 2014, 10:34:26 PMNote that if I weren't in a relationship, I'd either be on T already, or would have a definite plan for starting HRT soon. It's not that I'm unsure, more that I'm compromising. He is compromising by agreeing to the trial run idea.

Let's say you do this trial run and end up getting no permanent physical changes, but get the psychological benefits. Let's say that it confirms that T is what you really want and what your brain works best on. Then what? Do you have to stop taking T? How is that a compromise? Is there a possibility he'll reconsider and let you continue taking it?
Before I went on T, I was pretty sure I wanted it. Once I went on T and felt how much better it makes me, I realized that I did not want to live without it. What if that happens to you? What would you do then?

Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on November 16, 2014, 11:12:22 PM
Because I know how unpredictable and irreversible T changes are, I wonder if those people who suggested a hormone trial were only talking about estrogen. That wouldn't be very nice of them to say "hormones" if they meant "estrogen"

From all the random reading I've been doing so far, it seems to me like it's perfectly fine for transwomen to try out estrogen since any changes, for the first few months, are completely reversible. But I don't think I've read of any recommendations to just try out T, probably because the changes aren't reversible and you should be 100% sure you want these changes?

I'll probably get a lot of backlash for this, but going to an informed consent clinic is probably your best option. No, they don't just hand out testosterone and estrogen, but they are much more open to the idea of someone taking testosterone or estrogen for a certain amount of time. People are against medical intervention as a means of exploration but there are certainly people out there who will not know whether they need to transition until they're actively doing so. As such, if your relationship is hindering your transition, I'd definitely work that out. 1-2 weeks will not produce much change and I promise, the irritation due to the struggle and wait you'll go through will only intensify your irritation if you stop because of a partner.

I think it is a very poor idea to take T as a way to determine whether or not you should transition.  However, that is what I am doing.

I have spent 10+ years trying to come to a decision about whether or not to transition, a lot of soul searching, and a lot of therapy.  I just couldn't decide.  Just couldn't.  I decided to gamble.

I took one-quarter dose T for 7 weeks and then moved up to 1/2 dose for the last 3 shots.  I am pretty confident at this point that I am going to transition.  The fact that I told my boss yesterday that this is what I think I am doing pretty much makes it a forgone conclusion.

It took me 15 years to decide to do top surgery.  I actually flew down to see Garramone for a face-to-face consult because I couldn't make up my mind.  I scheduled the surgery and was back and forth in my head as to whether or not it was a good idea until the last week or so.

I seem to always need an escape hatch in order to follow through on what is best for me.  It sucks, honestly.  I still feel like I have "died and gone to heaven", every morning when I wake up and realize my breasts are gone.  But, it is like I can't commit to something out loud.

Anyway, the biggest barrier for me transitioning all these years has always been my work.  If I were in a different situation, I probably would have transitioned many years ago.  The fact that I am typically read as male and have been able to dress as male throughout my life has probably made it easier to remain in this body up until now.

Know that if you do a "trial run on T", you are playing with fire when it comes to your voice.  My voice is already quite low for a female, so it has been less of a shift.  It really wasn't until last week that it became more noticeable.  That is why it is necessary that I move forward with final decision making.  With how good I feel physically and psychologically I can't imagine going off of T.  I think it would probably be emotionally traumatic if I did stop taking it. 

I would not suggest anyone consider a "trial run", unless they are ok with being stuck with a male voice living as female for the rest of their lives.  Too, like others have said, you do need to be on it for a while before you move through the side effects and can really assess how your mind and body feel on it.  It has been 11 weeks for me and I swear it is just this week that I haven't had any crazy side effects happening.  Unless you take a very low dose for a number of months (which most people don't have the patience to do), it can slip away from you and your voice can really drop one day.  It is not a linear thing (although I would suggest that it is more linear on lower dose).

I do not think that "trial runs" are something that should be encouraged by the medical community.  I think a situation like mine...due diligence in trying to figure things out (therapy and time), might make it more acceptable.  I think it is a slippery slope though and it worries me to think that there are more providers who will be open to allowing folks to tinker with testosterone without taking the time to be really, really clear about what they are doing.

It seems to me though that your issue really isn't whether or not you want to transition.  Your issue is more about needing to get the "buy in" from your husband.  That is a whole other issue.  Sounds like couples counseling would be a good idea.

Good luck.

You might want to consider trying a far less androgenic male hormone like Deca-Durabolin (SP?), etc. This is what male and female bodybuilders use to muscle up with. It can give you the muscle growth and fat reduction (male affects) without a lot of the facial hair and voice change.

Would taking T for only a week or two even cause any mental changes?

Quote from: Contravene on November 20, 2014, 07:17:04 AM
Would taking T for only a week or two even cause any mental changes?

yes. the mental changes happen first for most people, i believe.
i started to experience a different way of thinking after/during the first week.

Quote from: palexander on November 20, 2014, 08:57:24 AM
yes. the mental changes happen first for most people, i believe.
i started to experience a different way of thinking after/during the first week.

That's pretty interesting, I didn't know it could happen that fast.

It seems to be an unpopular desire but I would like to take a test run on T too. Plus I'm pretty confident that I would like the changes and either just continue it or if I had to stop I would continue again in the future as soon as I was able to anyway. I have a lot of trouble with my emotions fluctuating and becoming imbalanced when my hormones do so I would be curious to see if taking T was what I needed to help balance myself.

Quote from: palexander on November 20, 2014, 08:57:24 AM
yes. the mental changes happen first for most people, i believe.
i started to experience a different way of thinking after/during the first week.

You can't actually answer "yes" to this question.  You yourself included the word "most" when referring to people's experiences. 

They will differ, so there is no "yes" or "no" answer to this question, Contravene.

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on November 20, 2014, 06:30:15 PM
You can't actually answer "yes" to this question.  You yourself included the word "most" when referring to people's experiences. 

They will differ, so there is no "yes" or "no" answer to this question, Contravene.

I see, that's a little more like what I was expecting. Thanks for clearing that up.