Being able to get pregnant, carrying to term and giving birth doesn't make you a mother. Loving a child unconditionally and nurturing that child no matter the age, is what makes you a mom. I know plenty of cis women that have given birth but in no way are mothers. There is always adoption. Like someone else said there are a lot of cis women that can't bear children too.

Quote from: Jess42 on November 20, 2014, 09:40:15 AM
Being able to get pregnant, carrying to term and giving birth doesn't make you a mother. Loving a child unconditionally and nurturing that child no matter the age, is what makes you a mom. I know plenty of cis women that have given birth but in no way are mothers. There is always adoption. Like someone else said there are a lot of cis women that can't bear children too.

True, Jess, but for some of us there is this natural want to do these things, just like infertile cisgender women want that too. It's not practical, not likely in the lifetime of any of us reading this today but that doesn't invalidate the wish, the want. Instead, we have to learn to live with it as best we can, as Vickster said.

And as Kelly noted, unexpected things do happen. Grandpa has become Grandma and at least one of my grandchildren is thrilled to have a grandma that wants to take her shopping!

ME tooo

I would love to be pregnant, to feel the excitement of the seeing the positive pregnancy test, seeing my tummy swell as the child grows must be amazing.. and feeling the baby kick, all must be amazing.. giving birth.. that part is not so fun..

My boyfriend, i know wants a family some day... if we end up getting married... yes we can adopt... and I will love these kids...with all my heart... but still i would have loved to carry his child.

Maybe science will come through before I am too old... I am 24 now

One thing to keep in mind is that getting preggers isn't a passport to happiness. I know a few women whose first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage which was traumatic for them. Carrying a child full term can have sizeable impacts on your health and body, especially in the last two months. And giving birth is usually no picnic. Then you have a child to look after, intensively, for many years! I know a number of women who decided to never become mothers and they seem quite happy about that decision. I guess in our case though we never had the option in the first place

Look at it in a different way... Can you imagine what it would be like if we couldn't even transition? If we didn't even know what trans were? 
Thankfully today we're able to transition and get the SRS... We're not 400% there yet because this issue of carrying babies is a lot more complicated and there would be many moral issues in medicine and society before we can get there, but we are able to have so many other great things that in the past we'd not be able to have...
We are able to adjust our bodies quite a lot to be who we were meant to be. We're able to change our documents and to live as a complete woman just like another cis girl. Sadly, as others have said, even some cis women can't have their own kids, so that does not invalidate you as a woman. And just because you can't have kids that doesn't make you trans to people as much as it makes you simply infertile, so you can still be stealth. 
I truly think you should open up to him though, it'd save you a lot of heartache and fears that will come with marrying someone who has no clue...
Wish you the best, and don't focus on the bad things.  Things aren't perfect but they're pretty good 

Quote from: Jess42 on November 20, 2014, 09:40:15 AM
Being able to get pregnant, carrying to term and giving birth doesn't make you a mother. Loving a child unconditionally and nurturing that child no matter the age, is what makes you a mom. I know plenty of cis women that have given birth but in no way are mothers. There is always adoption. Like someone else said there are a lot of cis women that can't bear children too.

You are right Jess, to be a parent is to be selfless to another vulnerable person. It is not directly linked to my biology.  But when I was very young I dreamt of nursing my own.  It became so real to me that I could see and smell her in my mind's eye.  Puberty destroyed the image, but not the emotion.  I will still awake in the night wondering why I was never given the gift of carrying, birthing, and holding a child of my body.  I no longer weep for the lack, and have adopted, both formally and informally, children who love me (only one legally).  It is both enough and not quite sufficient to have love of the young near.  When I am allowed to hold, breathe in the sweetness, and gaze with rapture on an upturned baby's smile.  The ache and the loss return.  You know me well enough to know I would have been a good mom.  I know me well enough to know that the dream is exactly that, a dream nothing more, but most assuredly nothing less.

Peace,
Julie

Quote from: LizMarie on November 20, 2014, 11:17:10 AM
True, Jess, but for some of us there is this natural want to do these things, just like infertile cisgender women want that too. It's not practical, not likely in the lifetime of any of us reading this today but that doesn't invalidate the wish, the want. Instead, we have to learn to live with it as best we can, as Vickster said.

And as Kelly noted, unexpected things do happen. Grandpa has become Grandma and at least one of my grandchildren is thrilled to have a grandma that wants to take her shopping!

You're right Liz, it is a maternal instinct. I will go so far as to say on both sides of the gender spectrum it is a human instinct to want to produce offspring. Even as a male it isn't possible for me. So maybe one of the reasons even on the female side of myself it doesn't bother me much. But I would say it is more of a longing though than just a wish.

Quote from: JulieBlair on November 20, 2014, 02:07:14 PM
You are right Jess, to be a parent is to be selfless to another vulnerable person. It is not directly linked to my biology.  But when I was very young I dreamt of nursing my own.  It became so real to me that I could see and smell her in my mind's eye.  Puberty destroyed the image, but not the emotion.  I will still awake in the night wondering why I was never given the gift of carrying, birthing, and holding a child of my body.  I no longer weep for the lack, and have adopted, both formally and informally, children who love me (only one legally).  It is both enough and not quite sufficient to have love of the young near.  When I am allowed to hold, breathe in the sweetness, and gaze with rapture on an upturned baby's smile.  The ache and the loss return.  You know me well enough to know I would have been a good mom.  I know me well enough to know that the dream is exactly that, a dream nothing more, but most assuredly nothing less.

Peace,
Julie

That was beautiful Julie and actually brought me to tears. I've never known none of that except with newborns in the family. And it's a nice feeling but on that hurts me really bad too. Since either way, I am the last me that will ever be on this earth. That is something everyone else can be thankful for though. Sorry a little humor to offset the pain. And my ex would never even consider the adoption route. She was strange for sure.