Hi all,

I'm just curious how, as someone with a non-binary gender identity, you define your sexual orientation.

I'm struggling with this now because for basically my entire post-pubescent life I've thought of myself as a lesbian and most of my social circle is made up of cis lesbians and bi women. It's only been over the last year or so - I think once I finally shook off all the shaming vestiges of my conservative Christian upbringing - that I've started unpacking the messy "queer" box. I'm not sure what to call myself now. I know I'm still exclusively attracted to female-spirited people, but I can't be a lesbian if I'm not a woman, right? 

How have you gone about defining your sexual orientation in relation to your gender identity?

This may help solve the problem.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynephilia

I am pansexual. I enjoy the person, not the gender. Solves the whole "categorizing" thing.

I have always been and probably will always be attracted to men. I was born female but I'm gender fluid so my brain moves around on the gender spectrum. When I am female, I am straight. When I am male, I am gay. Either way, I'm still attracted to men.

I was thinking about this just this morning!!

I identify publicly, politically, etc. as a lesbian and have for almost 40 years. Personally, in my heart, in terms of desire, I often feel more like a gay man. Given my gender identity as non-binary, I'd probably just say that "personally, in my heart," I identify - in terms of sexual orientation - as bisexual. But, since I've been with the same person for almost 20, I do consider myself to be in a lesbian relationship, no matter my personal identity.

Yeah, a bit convoluted but I think that if we're all (cis, trans, questioning...) honest with ourselves, we're probably all bi to some degree! 

Not sure, LOL.   For a long time identified as "bi" but I think that was more because I enjoyed sexual experiences with men and women.  But when with a man I always think of myself as a woman and make it clear to the guy that is the case (dressed or not).  Pansexual may be the better "label" if one is even needed.

I sort of lucked out in the nb orientation game. I'm bisexual: attracted to people who are the same gender as me, and also those who aren't. No matter where my own gender floats on the spectrum, that still holds true.

If ''gynephile'' isn't up your alley identity-wise, you could always go with the simple, ''I'm attracted to women.'' Not as satisfying as having A Word sometimes, I know, but accurate and communicative.

Ditto!

Quote from: suzifrommd on November 19, 2014, 08:12:58 AM
I am pansexual. I enjoy the person, not the gender. Solves the whole "categorizing" thing.

I just use the word "queer", since sex isn't really my thing and I guess it carries more weight to it than pansexual.  Pansexuality is an orientation, but queer is a shared cultural identity, of liking whoever we damn well please!

I don't "do" identities.  I "do" whatever works....with whomever is willing and floats my boat

Currently that is my own personal hunk/man-toy.

Bi most definitely. Definitely don't set boundaries for myself though. I never know from which direction love may come from and I sure don't want to miss it again.

Quote from: Emerald on November 19, 2014, 07:50:35 AM
This may help solve the problem.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynephilia

Erm, yep, thanks Emerald. 

I uh, must admit, though, that the most commonly used word in English that ends in "-phile" is not exactly a club I'm eager to join... 

Hmmm!

Yes please.

Just only married.

Bi and very vanilla

I'm in love with a (cis) girl. Most of my physical attraction is for other women (both lesbian and bisexual) and I identify as a demigirl, so sometimes I feel like "lesbian" is appropriate for me, and other times, "queer" feels right. I've found myself also attracted to and flirt with non-binary identified people as well. So it's all very fluid. I think orientation is very subjective and what is important is what makes you feel comfortable.

Straight though I feel my sexuality shifting towards bicurious.

Quote from: Marcellow on November 20, 2014, 12:11:37 PM
Straight though I feel my sexuality shifting towards bicurious.

That's cute, may I borrow it?  It is both descriptive and accurate.    Although I'm a little further down the bisexual road.  At some point in my life I've covered the whole LGB spectrum.  Perhaps I'm just sexually eager?

Julie

   Fluid, I am more interested in harmony  with the person than anatomy. I guess some might call it bi but I have a loving partner so no plans in looking for someone else anyway.

I'm a can't-get-no-sex-ual... 

Until that changes I'm not even going to bother trying to define my sexuality.

Quote from: Ms Grace on November 21, 2014, 10:11:38 PM
I'm a can't-get-no-sex-ual... 

Until that changes I'm not even going to bother trying to define my sexuality.

Hmmm...Sounds like a bad case of Lakanookie.