Am going to see my therapist tomorrow.  Last session he asked me if i want to go for hormone treatment,
i did not have answer for him, but if i had been brave enough i would have said yes, but i am scared that
i am too old (53), that it will only lead to disappointment, that i have missed my chance.
Have become much more feminine in the last year, i think it´s a case of body following head.
When i see myself in the mirror, it´s not the same face, the eyes have changed, the features softened
and i really like that. i don´t like being male, i never did.  Have always been the sensitive emotional type
and easily hurt and to compensate for that and other deficiencies i became really hard and mean.
i felt i had to or this world would do me in. i want the aggression gone, if HRT does the trick
i think i would be much happier about myself. This 50/50 thing is driving me and my wife nuts.
Feel so out of place, it´s like i never fit anywhere.  Am not an envious person but caught myself
envying some of you here for having such a long road ahead to find your place.
Like everyone else i am just looking for contentment and peace of mind, knowing that there
is a place for me in this realm.
linda

53 is too late? Oh dear, some of the other members around here will be disappointed.. 

More seriously, it's a big decision. Don't make it until you are ready - although, if your therapist is asking they probably think you are. Now, I'm a little younger then you, I came out when I was 35.. And here I am 4 years later, living the life I should always have had.. Next year I'll celebrate my bodies 40th and my 5th birthdays.. Gonna be some kinda party..

Quote from: lindagrl on November 20, 2014, 03:30:28 AMi am scared that i am too old (53)

"You're never too old to be yourself!"

Quote from: lindagrl on November 20, 2014, 03:30:28 AM
This 50/50 thing is driving me and my wife nuts.

Then you have to shift to one side.
And since you're already stated that you don't like one side and like the effects of the other, you already know which side to chose.

edit:

Thank you kelly_aus, you made a good point.  My therapist even asked me if i wanted to join the local trans community when i am ready for that,
it seems he sees me pretty clearly belonging as female.

Glad you found your place,
success stories inspire.

Railgun, oh goodness did i have that coming, thanks for the video.
Now lets see, am too old, too tall, receding hairline, won´t pass, yeah that about covers it.
Four things i will now avoid making a big deal out of at the session.
Glad i am not too old to still be able to laugh at myself.

Quote from: lindagrl on November 20, 2014, 03:30:28 AM
i would have said yes, but i am scared that i am too old (53), that it will only lead to disappointment, that i have missed my chance.

There is only one way that you will 100% miss your chance and it isn't trying!

Quote from: Seras on November 20, 2014, 04:47:01 AM
There is only one way that you will 100% miss your chance and it isn't trying!

Now there´s a scary thought.
You are right of course.
i think i just made my mind up,
am going to try.

Thank you Seras 

Hey np

Hope it works out.

Afraid to be disappointed? That depends on your expectations. It isn't a common thing that someone who is 53 will again look like a 20 years old female top model but hey, you can try .

Honestly though from what I see from being a child up to puberty, people tend to look androgynous. After puberty people look most feminine and/or masculine, depending on their life. But when people get older they also get more androgynous again. You are more likely to be seen as a woman if you get your voice right, than someone who is around 30.

I find the reactions to just try it out a bit absurd. HRT changes are often permanent and is bad for your health. Not exactly something to jump into. Besides, try to experiment. From what I heard you have been doing so already but try bringing it a bit further. Visit another city in a way where you feel feminine and comfortable and see if you enjoy being seen and addressed as a woman.

But each their own! If it feels right for you to live as a woman, try HRT. If you are unsure, explore till you are sure. Either way the best of luck and I hope you find out what makes you feel the most comfortable ^^.

It's a no brainer really: most of the effects of HRT are reversible. The risks are minimal especially if you're healthy and under doctor supervision (someone to read your bloods and put you on a right dosage basically). They'll most likely start you on transdermal oestrogen which is the safest option of all. At the end of the day what are you scared of exactly? You can always quit taking hormones if you don't feel this is right for you!

Honestly, HRT is so exaggerated and overrated especially amongst transwomen it's unbelievable. People think that by popping a pill for 3 months will turn them into ravishing beauties.

Quote from: Kirey on November 20, 2014, 07:43:41 AM
I find the reactions to just try it out a bit absurd. HRT changes are often permanent and is bad for your health. Not exactly something to jump into.

What exactly is permament if you don't mind me asking? Aside from a negligible amount of breast tissue that might or may as well not form at all in the first three months, I'm hard pressed to think of something else which would stay for good. Also, I doubt that the op is planning on having kids at their age so infertility would not be a problem. Yes, taking antiandrogens can be risky if not monitored. On a side note though, antiandrogens are very much overprescribed and many people take them while they don't need them; oestrogen can suppress testosterone production by itself.

Not sure if that was directed to me but I never mentioned HRT is exaggerated because I also think too many focus too much on HRT. But yea you are right, becoming sterile shouldn't be an issue anymore on that age but breast tissues? It is quite common to have a bit of man boobs on that age and with HRT you will just end up quite quickly having real breasts you cannot get rid of anymore. And it weakens your bones which, when fractures accure, stay.

No, HRT isn't the end of the world but it isn't healthy either. It does also, not sure if permanently, increase your chance on cancer and so on.

It would be just as silly when someone is overweight to advice them instantly, without any other options, to start smoking because that eases the hunger for many. Alright, sure it doesn't kills you and many smoke without trouble. But it isn't healthy either so many wouldn't advice that but rather tell one to go on a diet instead.

Such misinformations.

i do not have any unrealistic expectations about what HRT will do for me and it should not be assumed that i do.
To worry that i might not ever be able to pass as a woman my age is a real one,
if i don´t manage that, there is no point in doing this IMO.
Is it odd that i find such a big step as HRT a little daunting? i think not.
A part of me thinks, make the best of things as they are.  Am a father, son, brother and a husband,
there are more things to consider than just how i feel about it.
There is no other city to try taking things further, it´s a very small population,
somebody is a relative or knows me wherever i go here.

Have had cancer before and know about that risk, as well as some other health risks and i would only do this with
doctors supervision.  Am lucky in that here the government assists, there is a framework in place all supervised
and thoroughly monitored.  When i wrote that i will give it a try, that´s what i meant, however absurd it might be deemed.
Am not afraid of having irreversible boobs, or not to father more children.
If my therapist and doctors warn me against it, then i will probably not do it and just make do.
i intend to discuss this at length in tomorrows T session, after that i will have a better
idea of where i am heading.

Take care
linda

I am sorry if I come across as too aggressive with my statements, don't mean to come across like that. Just kinda had the feeling I did x_x.

Anyhow, feeing that HRT is a big step is normal and you should feel like that. Neither did I meant to you that it is absurd to try HRT. Basically never being on HRT myself I will also 'try' it as I start. I just find it absurd how HRT is always the first suggestion to just 'try it out'.

Transition isn't for everyone. Some don't need it even. Maybe you are someone who is also happy to sometimes look more feminine but without the whole body change. I hope you can figure things out with your therapist and most of all, just do what feels right. Fears are normal to have but also if you feel a lot of what you are afraid of the most it might just be because you want it really badly. If it didn't bother you, it wouldn't scare you either.

Thank you for that Kirey.  i am a newbie and i don´t have a thick skin yet, but am working on it.
i accept your apology and hope that my comments did not upset you. We girls have to stick together.
A very informative link was sent to me by a generous member and i need to do some studying tonight,
there are so many things i had not figured on, as in other options for instance.
Perhaps it´s enough for me to feel like a woman, but i do think that with lots of work
and heavy machinery i just might eventually be able to pass.
Nothing wrong with ambition 
Have a great day sis.
linda

Hi, Linda!  I understand where you're coming from because that's pretty much where I am--except that I'm even older than you, which makes me positively ancient, doesn't it?

I've long been hesitating over HRT, and I'm still hesitating.  My feeling on the matter is that when it feels right I'll do it, and not before then.  That day may never come.  My life now is happier than ever before, and sometimes I think that this may be as good as I'll get.

I live in a little town where people treat me very well.  Also, I'm quite passable so when I go somewhere else, I don't have any hassles.  Finally, I have the nagging suspicion that I'm never going to be 100% happy until I'm a ciswoman--and that's not going to happen, is it?

So I have all kinds of reasons to hesitate.  I've more or less decided that I'll let the decision make itself, one way or the other.  When my heart tells me to go ahead, I will, but not before then.

Hi Foxglove.  i really put my foot in my mouth with that too old reference, sorry about that.
Good to know there are others thinking similar things.
Glad for you that you are happy today, i also am happier than ever and it won´t be the end
of the world if i don´t make it all the way down the road, i will still be linda.

i don´t know what i will do, i just know that since i began thinking and in some way acting like a female
i want to take it further.  Have hit a wall so to speak and want to climb over it.
Don´t think i will change my mind about that.
It´s hard to explain but my wife and i both noticed how in our relationship we
crossed a threshold where i had changed from the male me to linda.
We noticed it afterwards and were equally amazed at the change.
We agree that this transformation is the best thing we have ever done,
my wife in fact has forbidden me to even think about turning back
and whereas she is the boss around here, the decision to take the next step becomes easy,
all that remains are details, what method i will end up choosing.
If any revelation occurs at T session tomorrow i will tell about it here.
Have a good one 
and thank you 

Wow, people throw this word around a lot, but I do think it is awesome that your wife is so accepting

Thank you Seras, i think it´s pretty awesome too, She is awesome.
i think it did help though that i was an intolerable so and so as a male