You know sometimes you think you get bad advice and it actually turns out to be good. I owe an apology to my previous therapist about her advice concerning electrolysis first, HRT after.

Anyway I did take her advice because you know what? She's a professional and I'm not, so I figured she knew what she was saying.

So anyway I dunno what made me do it but I shaped my brows. I didn't go for a neutral look. I decided to go all out. Actually I shaped them similar to my mom's because I figured I would see how much I looked like her. I used the guide from paulaschoice.com.

And hoooooleeeee crap. I can't believe the difference. I look in the mirror and it is hard to gender myself fully "M" without some effort, even with a few days of stubble (for the electrolysis). At work no one has said anything but I've noticed some looks. The coworkers who I'm out to brushed it off and said I looked nice. Even pictriev is giving me consistent 30-80% feminine in selfies even those with facial hair (those with facial hair are on the lower end).

Anyway much of my facial hair is cleared but I have a good bit of dense hair to go. And timing would work out nice with HRT because much of it will be gone and the femme features would start coming in, along with body features like curves.

Sadly my wife is completely distraught and sometimes I feel so bad I did this and I had no idea it would affect her so badly. She says I look like a total stranger, and yes I look like a woman and she says over and over "I'm not a lesbian." I want to cry because I feel she is distancing herself from me now as she sees reality approaching like the Acela Express and we are both on the tracks.

But I must move onward and upward because I want peace with myself.

Anyway I want to do a dressed up pic but for now my avatar is pretty much the result with a day or so of stubble.

I have heard that said before, but after I started HRT... Now my age has made it hard for Laser options, so when I start on both, it's gonna be awkward

I also have to have the discussion with loved ones... Think your story would be my best outcome, think it won't be palatable to her, and others; when I do decide the appropriate moment... Will work with a  (to be finalized) small support group

Good luck moving forward

L Katy

Katy,

My story is by no means final! There are a number of complicating factors in our marriage, sadly, and I'm not sure how we would split apart. Not for nothing I LOVE her a lot and I took care of her when she was pregnant and she took care of me throughout our 14 years of being together. I am hoping that we at least remain friends so we can be parents to our 3 kids.

Hello Kate,
Electrolysis takes a long time, I'm a bit over 100 hours in and out about $6,000 USD.  It will be another year at least before It is fully completed.  I'm been full time since June, and while I don't dread Tuesdays as much as I used to, I still find myself avoiding people and hiding until I can break away for the session.

The marriage challenge is so very hard.  Three years ago I began to prepare to transition, I got fit, lost weight and began to read trans literature.  Thirty months ago I began HRT and all hell erupted.  It is asking a lot to become something entirely new.  To begin to look and feel feminine.  It is asking someone you love to accept that the person she married is not the person she fell in love with.  It is asking her to believe that you did not manipulate and were not disingenuous then or now.  My wife is also not a lesbian and we have separated.  But something magical is beginning to happen.  We are becoming friends.  That may not continue, there remain issues.  But for now we can help each other, work together when things need to be done, and even share a smile.

She has come to understand that to abandon an authentic life would for me be to abandon life.  She no longer wants me for a mate, but she does want me in her life.  I have gone from defensive anger to acceptance and accommodation.   For us, for now it is an acceptable solution.

I wish you well on your journey to yourself,

Julie

Quote from: JulieBlair on November 20, 2014, 01:49:13 PM
Hello Kate,
Electrolysis takes a long time, I'm a bit over 100 hours in and out about $6,000 USD.  It will be another year at least before It is fully completed.  I'm been full time since June, and while I don't dread Tuesdays as much as I used to, I still find myself avoiding people and hiding until I can break away for the session.

I was told about a year everything will be gone. Everything is actually going pretty good. There is regrowth but not all that much. After 6 sessions it will be very manageable. In fact right now it is pretty good when I shave. This should tie nicely into my overall plan but if I had started HRT and that went further without the electro clearing a lot of my face it would be pretty odd and awkward, moreso than just HRT by itself.