I'm beginning to feel guilty about slowly becoming trans...

I realize I won't be able to do things with my sister that I used to do. I also have two girls who are like sisters to me. All three younger girls look up to me...I won't be their "perfect role model" anymore. Hell, I won't be anywhere near who they want/expect me to be.

I won't be able to go shopping with them whenever we get together because I'll be male. I can't go to Forever 21 or Bath and Body Works with them (well I could but I couldn't go in the dressing room or tell them what looks good on them). I'd be missing out on stuff I'm used to doing with them...

My sister and I have never seen eye to eye but that doesn't mean I won't miss shopping with her.

On the plus side, I won't have to go with her to Victoria's Secret. That store gives me the willies.

Quote from: BlaineGame on November 21, 2014, 03:13:50 PM
I'm beginning to feel guilty about slowly becoming trans...

I don't know about you but I don't understand the phrasing slowly becoming trans. From my perspective, you either are or you're not. Is it that your slowly realizing your trans?

I can tell you from my point of view on the other issues that you're feeling guilty about. It does seem like I am morning a little bit about losing my past self. Sure, when you transition you won't be able to go into the dressing room with them, but there's no reason why you can't go shopping with them. Like with my male friends. We don't have the same conversations and I'm not comfortable doing some of the things that we used to do, but that's something that I understood going in and I accepted the fact that things will change.

Don't get me wrong, I understand how you're feeling, but is instead of looking at what I'm going to miss out on. I'm looking forward to all the new experiences that I have in front of me. I truly hope you find the peace and happiness that you are looking for and deserve. I wish you nothing but the best of your journey and made the Angels look upon you and help guide you on your path.

Much love,

Melissa Ann

Quote from: BlaineGame on November 21, 2014, 03:13:50 PM
I'm beginning to feel guilty about slowly becoming trans...

I realize I won't be able to do things with my sister that I used to do. I also have two girls who are like sisters to me. All three younger girls look up to me...I won't be their "perfect role model" anymore. Hell, I won't be anywhere near who they want/expect me to be.

I won't be able to go shopping with them whenever we get together because I'll be male. I can't go to Forever 21 or Bath and Body Works with them (well I could but I couldn't go in the dressing room or tell them what looks good on them). I'd be missing out on stuff I'm used to doing with them...

My sister and I have never seen eye to eye but that doesn't mean I won't miss shopping with her.

On the plus side, I won't have to go with her to Victoria's Secret. That store gives me the willies.

OMG that is the best store for shopping. I know this is kind of out of line but VS don't give me the willies "cause my willy is dead but my boyfriend though. His Willy stands tall. So so sorry but couldn't resist.

But seriously though without all my BS, you will have other friends. You can still go shopping with her though even at Bed, Bath and Bodyworks. When I go there I see a lot of guys with wives, girlfriends and or other family members. That is the one store that I have to go it alone because he can't stand the smells. Same with candle shops. He can handle candles at home just not all the smells at once. Give me a freaking break, I have to smell his farts. Not to mention when I am in a nice lovely bubble bath with a glass of wine and he plops his butt on the thrown to do some business. Thank you baby just what I wanted to smell. But seriously though God bless guys.

Quote from: BlaineGame on November 21, 2014, 03:13:50 PM
I won't be their "perfect role model" anymore.

Why not? Because you're not the same gender? For the record, one of my role models is an Australian, aboriginal girl. Different country, ethnicity, gender, and age and she is still one of my role models.
Sure, you can't go in women's dressing rooms, but why can't you go to Forever 21 or Bath and Body Works? I know a cis guy who used to buy clothes from a women's clothing store.

Quote from: Edge on November 21, 2014, 05:44:18 PM
Why not? Because you're not the same gender? For the record, one of my role models is an Australian, aboriginal girl. Different country, ethnicity, gender, and age and she is still one of my role models.
Sure, you can't go in women's dressing rooms, but why can't you go to Forever 21 or Bath and Body Works? I know a cis guy who used to buy clothes from a women's clothing store.

I agree with Edge on this one.

I can understand why you can't go into the women's restroom but you can still go to the stores. No big deal. I wear panties and had to buy some panties in guy mode on a trip when I forget to pack mine. The cashier at the Wal Mart in Houston looked at me funny and I just shrugged and asked, "What?" And she actually called me Ma'am. I can't wear panties more than one day at a time. OK so a little OCD but who cares. I gotta' feel clean and fresh at least.

Other times I have been out of town and forgotten things at the house like nail polish and various article of make up and had time to go out while out of town. 99.9 Percent of the cahiers won't say anything. I've even bought clothes out of town in guy mode and I pay them money and they make money and the smart comments can be left out.

So don't worry about going into those shops as you. You are a customer and even though I believe customers can be wrong and have seen them act like idiots, being a customer while being who you are, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Now if you are a butthole to the workers then shame on you and if the workers are buttholes to you, complain. We are gaining momentum. Everyone deserves respect.

Quote from: MelissaAnn on November 21, 2014, 04:24:19 PM
I don't know about you but I don't understand the phrasing slowly becoming trans. From my perspective, you either are or you're not. Is it that your slowly realizing your trans?

I meant to say slowly transitioning Whoops

Quote from: Jess42 on November 21, 2014, 05:11:43 PMSo so sorry but couldn't resist.  

Haha, it's fine, made me chuckle

Quote from: Jess42 on November 21, 2014, 05:11:43 PM
Give me a freaking break, I have to smell his farts.

I laughed so hard when I read this, you have no idea XD

Quote from: Edge on November 21, 2014, 05:44:18 PM
Why not? Because you're not the same gender? For the record, one of my role models is an Australian, aboriginal girl. Different country, ethnicity, gender, and age and she is still one of my role models.
Sure, you can't go in women's dressing rooms, but why can't you go to Forever 21 or Bath and Body Works? I know a cis guy who used to buy clothes from a women's clothing store.

You all make a very good point. Who am I to say that I can't shop in Forever 21? I still can   And one of those girls already knows I'm trans and she's okay with it. I'm just worried about her sister and mine...Both girls see me the way they want to see me....

Oh yup! I was shopping in Forever 21 in pretty much guy mode before, when I didn't knew yet they didn't sell male clothes xD. No one seemed to be very surprised. Actually, no one looked any different or I for sure would have realized it is a female only shop sooner.

Nothing has to change. Where you are now being strong enough to transition, you in the future have to stand strong in your shoes to stay true to yourself. When your friends feel fine taking a look in the dressing room .. you still can. Sure it is less common than two girls but not that rare that it never ever happens.

Will be fine !

It's time to start building up a new network of friends to do all of those things with too and you can still join in with your sisters at Forever 21 & many other stores. They can now come out and model the clothes for you to critique. I see guys doing that all the time when I go out shopping. You can still be a role model to your sisters! You can show them what true strength and courage is by being yourself.