Hello Everyone, It been a long time since I've been on here and A LOT has happened but, that's a post for another day. I just wanted to take the time to ask you all for any advice you might have about going full-time at school.

Just to provided a little back story I got to the local community college and I'm one term away from graduating. I have this vision in my head of me wearing a graduation gown with a nice pair of red heels (maybe blue or black) and my make up is done to the best of my abilities. That's my ideal image of my graduation and i think I'm really close to it i just need to know. Am I covering all the bases. I have mostly presented as male or femboy at this school, also I'm not a social butterfly so it's not like many people know me. My biggest concern is that fact that I tend to avoid people by nature and although I have improved I'm still not there. Not to mention my voice is still a work in progress.

I'm sorry if that a bit everywhere but I'm just looking for a advice and a info dump in general.

EDIT: I forgot  to mention I'm mostly full time every where else except school.

I don't know. But if your full-time everywhere else, except for school. Why not just be yourself? If you feel ready and are up for the challenge. Why not? Plus, I don't see any reason why you couldn't wear your makeup in your red heels. If you wanted to. Definitely keep us updated on your decision.

Much love,

Melissa Ann

I think you should just be yourself lol Most people in college aren't there to pay attention to what everyone else is doing. They're there to continue their education & get their career going just like you. Just be happy & live your life the way you want to live Plus, if you already are a super fem boy, then I'm sure it'll come to no surprise if they see you dressed as a girl.

Thank you both! I know your right it's just so hard because what if my nerves get the best of me?

Quote from: justchillin on November 21, 2014, 07:46:26 PM
Thank you both! I know your right it's just so hard because what if my nerves get the best of me?

Nerves? Do you mean like, anger from people looking? or anxiety?

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 21, 2014, 08:03:03 PM
Nerves? Do you mean like, anger from people looking? or anxiety?

I'm anxiety, I have a bad habit of letting my imagination run wild, and what may have been just a random look to someone else, to me it feels like I'm being watched (probably not the best word). This is a problem I've had before transition.

Quote from: justchillin on November 21, 2014, 08:26:58 PM
I'm anxiety, I have a bad habit of letting my imagination run wild, and what may have been just a random look to someone else, to me it feels like I'm being watched (probably not the best word). This is a problem I've had before transition.

Hmmmm... My best advice is to try to manipulate those thoughts. It's something my therapists told me to do while I was seeing him & it could probably help you too. Basically, you don't know what's going on in anyones mind by a simple glance or stare, so how can you be sure it's anything negative? He would tell me to just think something more positive rather than negative like, "Oh, they think I'm cute" or "They like my makeup" or something like that because you will never know what they're truly thinking & if that's the case, why let it make you feel insecure? It's basically like allowing something that hasn't & isn't going to happen bother you.

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 21, 2014, 08:31:47 PM

Hmmmm... My best advice is to try to manipulate those thoughts. It's something my therapists told me to do while I was seeing him & it could probably help you too. Basically, you don't know what's going on in anyones mind by a simple glance or stare, so how can you be sure it's anything negative? He would tell me to just think something more positive rather than negative like, "Oh, they think I'm cute" or "They like my makeup" or something like that because you will never know what they're truly thinking & if that's the case, why let it make you feel insecure? It's basically like allowing something that hasn't & isn't going to happen bother you.

Yes that sounds like a good idea, I'm gonna practice that over the break before I start the next term. Thank you!

I'm in a similar situation. I started transition last year, but didn't really pass. During that year I always used the gender neutral restroom, which was a PTA as it was not in my building. I'm kinda well known as I'm in the band and my department is small. It was very challenging to come out as my department is on the conservative side, but it worked out. I've changed my documentation and I'm well adjusted to my new life at school.

My MTF friend is well known, but she has always been feminine. When I first met her I knew she wasn't a gay dude, but she never seemed like a straight man either. She is in a small department, but as she never gave off hetro-male vibes or gay-male vibes. These reasons probably helped her in transition.

I would take the leap as you already are female in other aspects of your life. For me it was an adjustment, but taking the leap was one of the best choices I have made.

Just might be an unpopular opinion but I would suggest to wait till college is over.

You live your life the way you want to everywhere, and that is awesome! Now if you came across school mates everyday then sure, feel free to switch it over in college. If not.. well.. why risk it? Sure, you want to be yourself and as soon as possible but college isn't forever at most 2 years I think? I really understand this isn't an answer you want to hear.

Thing is, I seen it happen in person. A class-mate of mine made the swap on school. Sure, the teachers supported her, friends backed her up but even people never bothering with her before were suddenly against her. Chances are you become an icon and will be bullied. I do not say you will but there is quite the chance for it too happen. Why risk the torture while you can already be happy out of school and leave it behind as soon as it is over? If it does bug you to not be yourself at school.. just see school as time where it is not about who you are as a person but at how you progress mentally to prepare for the future.

Now I think about it, after my friend I kind of did the same as suggesting. Going to school as a femboy with longer hair, feminine clothes but mostly androgynous. You don't want to attract all attention to yourself while you should be able to focus on your studies.

But those are just my two cents D: