During lunch a couple coworkers were discussing one the coworkers plans (both female) to get an apartment and suite-mates. One of them cracked a joke about how awkward it would be if one them was a "he/she." I was sitting about three feet from them and they don't seem to grasp that "he/she" is very degrading. They have seem to have no concept that it would be a million times more awkward for a pre-op transsexual woman. I doubt that they are actual transphobes, but are probably very ignorant. The worst part is that they have absolutely no clue that I am trans because I am still in the closet and still figuring out how to begin transition, so I was unable to let them know how i felt and was not able to explain anything about gender dysphoria. I had a headache the rest of the night.

You can still point out things that are ignorant or insulting without having to be out yourself. I did that on a few occasions, once when a colleague was laughing about the Adam's Apple of a trans woman professor she had once seen giving a speech and another time when a colleague kept switching pronouns when talking about a transwoman. No need to make a big deal though, if they're being ignorant it's better they're educated anyway.

Don't worry too much about it, there are worser things. I mean.. say the word gay. How many don't use it as a bad word, I even know some gay people who do it . Probably the same with he/she. Sure I don't like it either if people point it out but people tend to be ruder when there are no people around who could be offended by it. Or as far as they knew that being the case.

I have on many occasions corrected colleagues and staff, even my boss.

I say I do not tolerate bigotry and now I guess they figure I am not a safe person to express bigotry around.

I remember a time very, very early in my knowing that I am transgender when a discussion broke out at work about a transgender person that they knew. I was surprised at the depth of feelings some people had about it, and looking back I am saddened at the lack of understanding or empathy they showed toward that person. It was a gang mentality.

I think that it was the very first time I ran into trans-bigotry. Since I was a trans neophyte I had no confidence and I stayed silent out of fear of saying the wrong thing or outing myself. I posted about it here and Tekla took me to the woodshed for remaining silent; now I understand where she was coming from.

Today I would NOT stay silent; I would try to educate people and help them understand.

Quote from: rachel89 on November 22, 2014, 12:23:38 AMThe worst part is that they have absolutely no clue that I am trans because I am still in the closet and still figuring out how to begin transition, so I was unable to let them know how i felt and was not able to explain anything about gender dysphoria. I had a headache the rest of the night.

In situations like that, questions are very powerful.

"I wonder how people who live their lives that way think of being called he/she. What do you think?"