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Not by my choice...!

Started by MelissaAnn, November 23, 2014, 11:29:46 AM

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MelissaAnn

As some of you know I've been having some problems with my ex-wife in my dealings with my sons. After I came out to her. All of a sudden she's making it very difficult for my visitation will along with trying to pressure, embarrass, humiliate and trying to lay a guilt trip on me, all in an effort to get me not to transition. So today I come to find out that she contacted my parents, my brothers and my sister and enlisted their assistance in a further attempt to get me to stop. Just so everybody knows it's been years since I've been in contact with my family, so it really doesn't bother me. It was just the phone calls and emails(and I'm paraphrasing here) telling me that I'm a freak. I'm the scum of the earth. I'm a huge disappointment, and I am an abomination.

The thing that bothers me the most is that she told them, not that I really mind. It's just that I would like to come out on my own terms. In my own time frame. I find it very arrogant on her side to be acting this way, although I do know why she feels very threatened that anybody she knows might find out that I'm transgended and she was married to me.

I'm also stunned that my family is trying to contact me after all these years of no contact them them wanting to have nothing to do with me even more so I'm not wanting to have anything to do with them. Why would it matter to them in the first place at this point. Sorry about the rant. I just needed to get this off my chest. Everybody please have a good Sunday.

Much love,

Melissa Ann

I find it

David Man

Cheer up, girl. Family could be a great support or a great pain in the a**.

Totally agree with you, everybody should came out when we feel it. Your wife acted so selfish, is no wonder why she is you ex...
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Mariah

Nothing to be sorry about, we all need to rant sometimes. It's to bad she ruined your ability to tell them on your terms provided you actually wanted them to know at all. I have several relatives I haven't talk to in years who have been told some completely made up reason by my Uncle as to why I had to transition. Even though the person, who is spreading this garbage, has been told the truth by me. It was his way of rationalizing it. The end result is that my aunt, who is also transgendered, heard there rumor and asked me if it was true or not. My Aunt also knows the truth behind my transition and of course I wanted to be clear to her that there was no truth in the rumor that some were floating around. I know my mom would have had my dad hauled off if it actually had been true. I'm making sure to clear things up with who I have told about my transition, but for those who I don't plan on telling or making part of my life now I'm not doing anything to contradict the rumor in those cases even though I thought strongly about writing them, but after consulting with my Aunt we agreed it wouldn't do any good. I wouldn't worry about them to much. If they truly cared they would have kept in contact in the first place and secondly wouldn't be saying such awful things in the second place. In the meantime hold your head high and be proud of the great person you are. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
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JenniR04

MelissaAnn, my heart goes out to you, nothing to be sorry for either. You should be able to come out on your own terms and the time that is right. What she is doing with your sons and family is very inappropriate. Like you said, it appears she is grasping at straws to beat you down and make herself feel better, to try and put some big event over the whole being married to you things because she finds it embarrassing or whatever.

I am in somewhat of a similar situation, although I have two tween-age daughters and am still married for the moment, it's in the early stages of ending. My wife is far outer edges of being non-supportive and up accepting, to the point she's threatened public posting on Facebook, direct outing to friends and other sports parents of our kids, all the name calling and derogatory terms a person can think of, and more. It's no fun to say the least.

I wish you the best with you ex, your children and your family who all of sudden seems to want to be back in your life. Keeps us updated dear!
"Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one. Sometimes, those who fly solo have the strongest wings!"
Hugs, Jenni R.



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