So I'm 22, and I've been struggling with my gender for a while. About a year ago I realized just how badly I wanted top surgery. By this point it feels more like a need. I need my chest flat. I need to be able to breathe again. I've been binding for a long time and I've always been careful but because I have such a large chest I had back problems before binding and now they seem to be getting worse. Technically I am still on my parents insurance, until I'm 25 i think. Does anyone think there's a way I could figure out if that insurance would cover top surgery without giving my parents the details? I say this, and I know that it sounds like a crazy idea, because my parents are unsupportive and almost violent about these kinds of things. I just don't think I could be fully honest with them and have them not do something drastic. I'm just so tired of the dysphoria and depression it's contributing to. It's really messing up my life.

It seems to be pretty hit or miss with surgeon's accepting insurance for top surgery. It's largely seen as a cosmetic procedure by insurance companies and certain parts of the medical community, so your first task is figuring out if your parents' insurance has any trans inclusions or exclusions. Next would be finding a surgeon that accepts that insurance. Many don't accept any insurance. The ones that do, I've found are very selective about what they accept.

If you were able to get both squared away, you'd really just have to worry about correspondence from the insurance company. They may call to verify things, and they'll want to speak with the policyholder. They may mail claims things addressed to your parents since its their policy. So you'd have to be on top of both of those things.

Do you live at home still? I only ask because in addition to the hoops you'd have to jump through with insurance and finding the right surgeon, it would be impossible to keep a major surgery a secret from your folks if you're still living with them or even if they see you on a regular basis. Not trying to dissuade you in any way, just want you to know what you're up against.

Yeah I know there's a lot of obstacles. I appreciate your honesty, I'd rather have complete and honest info than someone just getting my hopes up. I'm living with them right now, I had my own place but ran into some issues and then my family was having problems so I said well forget it I'll go home and help them. I'm planning to leave again once things settle. When I'm not living here I hardly come around, we aren't real close because of the way they act, I keep my distance.

I hope to be living with a friend, that way they can help me out during the time immediately after surgery. I know I'll probably need help with some things til I heal more.

I'm going to try to sneak insurance into a conversation with my mother. Over the years I brought up on occasion "having a breast reduction" with her on the grounds that my chest does actually cause me physical problems. So I've kind of laid some groundwork with her. I am trying to raise money but to get the full amount would take ages, so that's why I'm kind of grasping at straws with this insurance thing. Feeling kind of desperate. If I can't make it work it's not like I fully had my hopes up that it would , but boy would it be nice if it did.

I am glad you mentioned some of those specifics of the insurance process, it helps me out with seeing the path I'd have to navigate.

Quote from: GrayBaby on November 25, 2014, 07:33:39 PM
So I'm 22, and I've been struggling with my gender for a while. About a year ago I realized just how badly I wanted top surgery. By this point it feels more like a need. I need my chest flat. I need to be able to breathe again. I've been binding for a long time and I've always been careful but because I have such a large chest I had back problems before binding and now they seem to be getting worse. Technically I am still on my parents insurance, until I'm 25 i think. Does anyone think there's a way I could figure out if that insurance would cover top surgery without giving my parents the details? I say this, and I know that it sounds like a crazy idea, because my parents are unsupportive and almost violent about these kinds of things. I just don't think I could be fully honest with them and have them not do something drastic. I'm just so tired of the dysphoria and depression it's contributing to. It's really messing up my life.

You can call the insurance company and they will tell you if they cover it or not, and the rules on it.  However, as ftmax said, things will definitely get sent to your parents' house, at least after surgery, if not before.

If male chest aesthetics weren't important to you (ie, you just want to have a flat chest but you wouldn't be upset if you couldn't go swimming shirtless), I'd start medically laying the groundwork for a reduction. Insurance will definitely cover a reduction. Go to your doctor, tell them about your back issues. Don't mention binding, don't bring up any gender issues. Just stick with the "my back really hurts, it has for X amount of time, I've tried XYZ to make it better but nothing helps".

Reduction probably won't be a doctor's immediate go-to. I have a friend with a fairly generous chest and prior to getting it reduced, she was prescribed painkillers and went to 12 weeks of physical therapy. These were all covered by her insurance, but she still had to wait almost 6 months from mentioning it to her doctor to getting the actual reduction.

If the aesthetics matter to you, there are options other than insurance. Lots of people take out loans to cover medical expenses. If you have a job and would be able to pay the loan off over time, it would be a way to pay for it and build your credit at the same time.

Quote from: ftmax on November 25, 2014, 08:41:12 PM
If male chest aesthetics weren't important to you (ie, you just want to have a flat chest but you wouldn't be upset if you couldn't go swimming shirtless), I'd start medically laying the groundwork for a reduction. Insurance will definitely cover a reduction. Go to your doctor, tell them about your back issues. Don't mention binding, don't bring up any gender issues. Just stick with the "my back really hurts, it has for X amount of time, I've tried XYZ to make it better but nothing helps".

Reduction probably won't be a doctor's immediate go-to. I have a friend with a fairly generous chest and prior to getting it reduced, she was prescribed painkillers and went to 12 weeks of physical therapy. These were all covered by her insurance, but she still had to wait almost 6 months from mentioning it to her doctor to getting the actual reduction.

If the aesthetics matter to you, there are options other than insurance. Lots of people take out loans to cover medical expenses. If you have a job and would be able to pay the loan off over time, it would be a way to pay for it and build your credit at the same time.

Yeah I considered doing that for years, just getting a reduction and doing the whole doctor thing and waiting out the painkillers and physical therapy. But now my priorities have changed. I want to be able to take my shirt off and feel comfortable. Swimming, working out, etc. I want my female breasts completely gone. They just haven't felt right for me for years. I'm going to look into loans. It might be hard because the first roommate I had screwed up and got us both evicted from our apartment so that probably affects my credit. I'm hoping there's a way to get rid of that. Which would probably require a lawyer and more money but I'm willing to do whatever I have to.

I can't speak to it because I haven't used it, but a lot of surgeons accept Care Credit which from the looks of it has a very low qualification threshold (as in I haven't seen anyone be denied for it in my experience - correct me if I'm wrong, people of the internet!). So even if your credit was less than stellar because of the eviction, they might still give you the loan.

I'd say:

(1) Call insurance and find out what they do/don't cover and if there are limitations (needing a referral from a GP, must be done in state, etc.).
(2) Based on that, start researching surgeons.
(3) Secure any funding needed. Keep in mind that you probably won't be allowed to work for 3-6 weeks post surgery, so you may need to borrow extra to tide you over until you're back to work if you don't have a job that offers any kind of paid leave. If my telecommute schedule isn't approved by then, I'll have to cash in the 4 weeks of vacation I have saved Something to keep in mind though!

Quote from: ftmax on November 25, 2014, 09:05:13 PM
I can't speak to it because I haven't used it, but a lot of surgeons accept Care Credit which from the looks of it has a very low qualification threshold (as in I haven't seen anyone be denied for it in my experience - correct me if I'm wrong, people of the internet!). So even if your credit was less than stellar because of the eviction, they might still give you the loan.

I'd say:

(1) Call insurance and find out what they do/don't cover and if there are limitations (needing a referral from a GP, must be done in state, etc.).
(2) Based on that, start researching surgeons.
(3) Secure any funding needed. Keep in mind that you probably won't be allowed to work for 3-6 weeks post surgery, so you may need to borrow extra to tide you over until you're back to work if you don't have a job that offers any kind of paid leave. If my telecommute schedule isn't approved by then, I'll have to cash in the 4 weeks of vacation I have saved Something to keep in mind though!

Hmm I'm gonna look up Care credit. That sounds like a good option, I hadn't heard of them. Here's hoping it works out. I'm pretty excited to know of that option now.

Be VERY careful with the likes of Care Credit. I wouldn't say it's an absolute "no go", but the reason they can "afford" to give all sorts of people loans is that if you are EVER late, they will up your interest, which is already very high, to extremely high and very hard to pay off. I'd say, right off, that the best way to use it is for the last $1-3 K or something. That way you have an amt. that is somewhat easier to pay off. They also have a low interest option if you pay off quickly.

I did use CareCredit, but to pay for a vet loan. I think my cat might have died without it, but still I am careful about who I advise to take this.

--Jay

Quote from: ftmax on November 25, 2014, 09:05:13 PM
I can't speak to it because I haven't used it, but a lot of surgeons accept Care Credit which from the looks of it has a very low qualification threshold (as in I haven't seen anyone be denied for it in my experience - correct me if I'm wrong, people of the internet!). So even if your credit was less than stellar because of the eviction, they might still give you the loan.

I'd say:

(1) Call insurance and find out what they do/don't cover and if there are limitations (needing a referral from a GP, must be done in state, etc.).
(2) Based on that, start researching surgeons.
(3) Secure any funding needed. Keep in mind that you probably won't be allowed to work for 3-6 weeks post surgery, so you may need to borrow extra to tide you over until you're back to work if you don't have a job that offers any kind of paid leave. If my telecommute schedule isn't approved by then, I'll have to cash in the 4 weeks of vacation I have saved Something to keep in mind though!

Quote from: aleon515 on November 26, 2014, 12:16:14 PM
Be VERY careful with the likes of Care Credit. I wouldn't say it's an absolute "no go", but the reason they can "afford" to give all sorts of people loans is that if you are EVER late, they will up your interest, which is already very high, to extremely high and very hard to pay off. I'd say, right off, that the best way to use it is for the last $1-3 K or something. That way you have an amt. that is somewhat easier to pay off. They also have a low interest option if you pay off quickly.

I did use CareCredit, but to pay for a vet loan. I think my cat might have died without it, but still I am careful about who I advise to take this.

--Jay

Yeah I looked them up and the interest is high, but then they do have the option to avoid interest if you pay it off in a certain amount of time. So it's good and bad. I'd have to make sure I could pay it off, like you said.