I'm confused about a lot of things about me. For one I don't really naturally look like a guy. Without make up. And last Halloween I was Marylin Monroe and I really liked the look. I can easily be mistaken for a girl I just happen to be taller. I have a frame that's a lot like a female's just without the boobs. I'm not fat very skinny and small framed. My frame resembles a female models like Miranda Kerrs sorta just you know a generally skinny female frame. But I don't mind it. I Don't want to end up where my body changes since I'm not done with puberty. I like other things in general that would be regarded as feminine. I do wear more acceptable clothing. But I have shoulder length hair I like to style. But I really did also enjoy dressing up on Halloween. I also liked being perceived as a girl it was less confusion. It's always assumed I'm like just a boyish girl for one moment I felt like I fit better than as a weird looking guy. Anyhow what exactly is transgender? And how do you know you have it? What do you do about it?

Also I was just reading that there are other reasons for like child abuse?

I was sexually abused for about a year 2 years ago. So I don't know is it just a symptom of what happened? Also can one get actual breasts? How does this work?

I've just accepted my identity as a trans woman this year being 18 still. Transgender is an umbrella term and I don't exactly know the perfect definition but theres not a connection between the assigned sex at birth and the gender identity you associate with yourself. There have been numerous studies and stuff on what causes it but I personally believe it's a combination of birth and upbringing. Not sure if sexual abuse could lead to it. I realized I was trans when I kept getting offended at things i.e. "you can't do that you're a boy." It would deeply hurt my feelings and make me feel out of place. I also had discomfort with gender roles when people would tell me to man up or be a man or whatever. I always thought I was just gay a boy but it never felt whole. I always felt like a part of me was missing before that as if I weren't completely being myself still. I couldn't relate to being a gay man either, I knew I liked men, but coming out about my sexuality didn't solve the discomfort I had with my body. I also have been posing as a girl online since I was in grade school, so all of my online friends only ever knew me as a girl. I always wished people would see me that way in real life.

But do realize that sexuality and gender identity are two completely different spectrums. Not everyone defines their gender identity within a binary (man or woman) and many people are fluid about their gender presentation, same with sexuality. I've always felt uncomfortable about my body since puberty and I have always had dysphoria but not everyone has that (it's just common). You can grow breasts on hormone replacement (this isn't for everyone). I would only take hormones if you're completely sure and love yourself already. They won't change who you are on the inside.

Hope this helped!

Transgender is when someone feels like they are the opposite sex assigned at birth.

When did I know I was transgender? From birth til I was 12 I lived as a boy. When I hit puberty I immediately knew I didn't like girls so I threw that out the window & identified as a gay male. Although from the point I knew I liked boys, I considered myself a girl. This was because I wasn't into gay males & I knew I didn't act like a typical boy or fit in with typical boys so I just considered myself a girl & when people would ask me if I was gay I would just respond, "I'm a girl but in a boys body". Remember, this is when I was 12! I had no clue someone could even become a girl. It's just what I saw myself as. Then when I got to about 13 I learned about other kids who felt like girls & their families accepted them & they were living as the girl they felt they were. So at that point, I was already dressing girly, painting my nails, wearing purses, etc. & just told myself I'd begin living as a girl & searching for hormones. I would say I officially began transitioning in public when I was 14 but knew I was trans when I was 13.

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 27, 2014, 01:40:06 AM
Transgender is when someone feels like they are the opposite sex assigned at birth.

When did I know I was transgender? From birth til I was 12 I lived as a boy. When I hit puberty I immediately knew I didn't like girls so I threw that out the window & identified as a gay male. Although from the point I knew I liked boys, I considered myself a girl. This was because I wasn't into gay males & I knew I didn't act like a typical boy or fit in with typical boys so I just considered myself a girl & when people would ask me if I was gay I would just respond, "I'm a girl but in a boys body". Remember, this is when I was 12! I had no clue someone could even become a girl. It's just what I saw myself as. Then when I got to about 13 I learned about other kids who felt like girls & their families accepted them & they were living as the girl they felt they were. So at that point, I was already dressing girly, painting my nails, wearing purses, etc. & just told myself I'd begin living as a girl & searching for hormones. I would say I officially began transitioning in public when I was 14 but knew I was trans when I was 13.

That was almost the same for me!! I never identified or related to gay men. I would never be attracted to gay men either! It just felt weird. I've always seen my future relationships as a man and a woman except where I'm the woman! I've always told my friends "my life would be so much easier if I were just a girl." I had so many misconceptions about trans people and I had no acknowledgement of hormone therapy. I thought cross dressing was as far as it could get. But then I started to see some beautiful trans women in the media and it immediately clicked with me that this is what I needed to do (or start to do, lol)

Quote from: lilangel on November 27, 2014, 01:44:07 AM
That was almost the same for me!! I never identified or related to gay men. I would never be attracted to gay men either! It just felt weird. I've always seen my future relationships as a man and a woman except where I'm the woman! I've always told my friends "my life would be so much easier if I were just a girl." I had so many misconceptions about trans people and I had no acknowledgement of hormone therapy. I thought cross dressing was as far as it could get. But then I started to see some beautiful trans women in the media and it immediately clicked with me that this is what I needed to do (or start to do, lol)

Yeah, I've always seen myself as the girl in a relationship too Well, obviously hahah Yeah, that's classic gender dysphoria. Always remember, the earlier you start, the easier it is & the better it will be in the long run because the closer you'll be to living your life as an authentic natal female with all of the stuff natal women get to experience & do

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 27, 2014, 01:47:42 AM
Yeah, I've always seen myself as the girl in a relationship too Well, obviously hahah Yeah, that's classic gender dysphoria. Always remember, the earlier you start, the easier it is & the better it will be in the long run because the closer you'll be to living your life as an authentic natal female with all of the stuff natal women get to experience & do

That's why I'm so glad I accepted my truth this year! I have plans to start hrt next fall. So glad I'm figuring this all out while I'm young.

I saw a thread on saying that they were confused as transgender because they had an abusive past and actually had did. And I tend to have black outs but it's only when I was with a guy. Like my mind won't let really anything more than kissing. that's why I wasn't sure if it would have the same effect? Even though I totally remember the Halloween party.

I really don't get comments that I'm doing something out of the norm for a boy besides like comments on my hair but even then I actually make it look as if it's natural. I have mostly friends of the same sex. But the relationship isn't really a normal friendship except with one. And girl friend we're kind of like bffs.

I also don't think I'm gay. I haven't really figured out what my sexuality is actually. I might like girls too. In fact on Halloween I had my first kiss with a girl. and I didn't feel really bad about it. But I appreciated making out with her as a girl rather than as a guy. I felt overall more comfortable that night then I did with myself as if I was home like it was familiar almost.
I've never felt uncomfortable about my body though but I haven't finished puberty and it's like at the beginning it's like my body is going in a feminine direction rather than masculine like my hips curve and my waist is defined and legs tilt sideways like a girl's And my shoulders are small. I haven't gotten muscular just tall and lean. So I've not really been uncomfortable with my body the way it is.

What are hormones? How do you get them? Do I have to tell my parents?

Quote from: lilangel on November 27, 2014, 01:37:10 AM
I've just accepted my identity as a trans woman this year being 18 still. Transgender is an umbrella term and I don't exactly know the perfect definition but theres not a connection between the assigned sex at birth and the gender identity you associate with yourself. There have been numerous studies and stuff on what causes it but I personally believe it's a combination of birth and upbringing. Not sure if sexual abuse could lead to it. I realized I was trans when I kept getting offended at things i.e. "you can't do that you're a boy." It would deeply hurt my feelings and make me feel out of place. I also had discomfort with gender roles when people would tell me to man up or be a man or whatever. I always thought I was just gay a boy but it never felt whole. I always felt like a part of me was missing before that as if I weren't completely being myself still. I couldn't relate to being a gay man either, I knew I liked men, but coming out about my sexuality didn't solve the discomfort I had with my body. I also have been posing as a girl online since I was in grade school, so all of my online friends only ever knew me as a girl. I always wished people would see me that way in real life.

But do realize that sexuality and gender identity are two completely different spectrums. Not everyone defines their gender identity within a binary (man or woman) and many people are fluid about their gender presentation, same with sexuality. I've always felt uncomfortable about my body since puberty and I have always had dysphoria but not everyone has that (it's just common). You can grow breasts on hormone replacement (this isn't for everyone). I would only take hormones if you're completely sure and love yourself already. They won't change who you are on the inside.

Hope this helped!

Quote from: Blondie14 on November 27, 2014, 02:17:17 AM
I saw a thread on saying that they were confused as transgender because they had an abusive past and actually had did. And I tend to have black outs but it's only when I was with a guy. Like my mind won't let really anything more than kissing. that's why I wasn't sure if it would have the same effect? Even though I totally remember the Halloween party.

I really don't get comments that I'm doing something out of the norm for a boy besides like comments on my hair but even then I actually make it look as if it's natural. I have mostly friends of the same sex. But the relationship isn't really a normal friendship except with one. And girl friend we're kind of like bffs.

I also don't think I'm gay. I haven't really figured out what my sexuality is actually. I might like girls too. In fact on Halloween I had my first kiss with a girl. and I didn't feel really bad about it. But I appreciated making out with her as a girl rather than as a guy. I felt overall more comfortable that night then I did with myself as if I was home like it was familiar almost.
I've never felt uncomfortable about my body though but I haven't finished puberty and it's like at the beginning it's like my body is going in a feminine direction rather than masculine like my hips curve and my waist is defined and legs tilt sideways like a girl's And my shoulders are small. I haven't gotten muscular just talk and lean. So I've not really been uncomfortable with my body the way it is.

What are hormones? How do you get them? Do I have to tell my parents?

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

I wouldn't jump ahead of yourself just yet. It takes a lot of time to figure things out. Like a looooot of time. Think about how you've always felt in your body and how you've always felt as people treating you as male. Does it make you uncomfortable? For me I was uncomfortable with my body too, especially during the summer. I've always felt like I actually had breasts that I need to cover up! I've also always been insecure with the beard and all of the body hair. It's all wrong!

Hormones are basically opposite sex hormones. You for example, have naturally occurring testosterone. Females have estrogens. The goal of cross sex hormone replacement therapy is to get your body running on hormones with that of a female born female. They stop your testosterone from making your body more male and start making your body more female with the use of estrogens and maybe anti androgens. You should get them from an endocrinologist because self medicating can be extremely harmful and can cause major health complications. It is best to tell your parents in my opinion. You should try finding a therapist to talk to about these feelings, more specifically a gender therapist. I come from a small town and there weren't any known gender therapists but my dad had good connections to psychologists and found someone that works with people that have "GID" (icky term). She was extremely helpful in encouraging my transition and she confirmed my feelings.

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 27, 2014, 01:40:06 AM
Transgender is when someone feels like they are the opposite sex assigned at birth.

When did I know I was transgender? From birth til I was 12 I lived as a boy. When I hit puberty I immediately knew I didn't like girls so I threw that out the window & identified as a gay male. Although from the point I knew I liked boys, I considered myself a girl. This was because I wasn't into gay males & I knew I didn't act like a typical boy or fit in with typical boys so I just considered myself a girl & when people would ask me if I was gay I would just respond, "I'm a girl but in a boys body". Remember, this is when I was 12! I had no clue someone could even become a girl. It's just what I saw myself as. Then when I got to about 13 I learned about other kids who felt like girls & their families accepted them & they were living as the girl they felt they were. So at that point, I was already dressing girly, painting my nails, wearing purses, etc. & just told myself I'd begin living as a girl & searching for hormones. I would say I officially began transitioning in public when I was 14 but knew I was trans when I was 13.

Ok yeah I definitely do fit in normally with guys. But the way I get treated by guys is as if I'm not quite one of the guys I always end up feeling used. But I tend to have the best relationships with people who are somewhere in the middle though. Besides one girl and we always got along as if we were sisters or something.

I paint my nails both fingers and toes but other than that I don't do any of the other stuff daily. I did on Halloween and I really enjoyed it.

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 27, 2014, 02:22:47 AM
Do you mind me asking how old you are?

14 why?

Quote from: Blondie14 on November 27, 2014, 02:47:55 AM
14 why?

because that's why you're still girly with small shoulders & can look like a girl easily & stuff. If you look at all other 14 year olds, they're pre-pubescent too xD Hmm.. I'd say.. you're clearly figuring yourself out & you're still young so just think about it. If you're trans it'll all just click.

Well the problem is in part that I'm treated as if I'm a guy but not really as if I'm Inbetween or something. Because like I said people go off what they see a lot of the time. And I just feel like a thing. Not really having a place securely. While when I appeared to be a girl it seemed everything was natural. Like it seemed more of what I was supposed to be than a guy. I get a very ambiguous response when I dress as a guy. I just want to be normal.

Quote from: lilangel on November 27, 2014, 02:28:23 AM
I wouldn't jump ahead of yourself just yet. It takes a lot of time to figure things out. Like a looooot of time. Think about how you've always felt in your body and how you've always felt as people treating you as male. Does it make you uncomfortable? For me I was uncomfortable with my body too, especially during the summer. I've always felt like I actually had breasts that I need to cover up! I've also always been insecure with the beard and all of the body hair. It's all wrong!

Hormones are basically opposite sex hormones. You for example, have naturally occurring testosterone. Females have estrogens. The goal of cross sex hormone replacement therapy is to get your body running on hormones with that of a female born female. They stop your testosterone from making your body more male and start making your body more female with the use of estrogens and maybe anti androgens. You should get them from an endocrinologist because self medicating can be extremely harmful and can cause major health complications. It is best to tell your parents in my opinion. You should try finding a therapist to talk to about these feelings, more specifically a gender therapist. I come from a small town and there weren't any known gender therapists but my dad had good connections to psychologists and found someone that works with people that have "GID" (icky term). She was extremely helpful in encouraging my transition and she confirmed my feelings.

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 27, 2014, 02:51:09 AM
because that's why you're still girly with small shoulders & can look like a girl easily & stuff. If you look at all other 14 year olds, they're pre-pubescent too xD Hmm.. I'd say.. you're clearly figuring yourself out & you're still young so just think about it. If you're trans it'll all just click.

No most guys my age seem to not be pear or hourglass shaped.


My build looks like something like this without the breasts. But my hips thighs and waistline and leg length and shoulders are all similar to hers. Which is why my shape tends to be read female. I wear baggy clothing so it's not that obvious unless it's the summer.
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/miranda-kerr/images/33680155/title/miranda-white-bikini-photo

More what makes people think I'm ambiguous has to do with my face and voice. I feel comfortable with how I look though.

Quote from: Blondie14 on November 27, 2014, 03:26:36 AM

No most guys my age seem to not be pear or hourglass shaped.


My build looks like something like this without the breasts. But my hips thighs and waistline and leg length and shoulders are all similar to hers. Which is why my shape tends to be read female. I wear baggy clothing so it's not that obvious unless it's the summer.
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/miranda-kerr/images/33680155/title/miranda-white-bikini-photo

More what makes people think I'm ambiguous has to do with my face and voice. I feel comfortable with how I look though.

Ehh. Give yourself another year or two & you'll understand what I mean :p

Quote from: lilangel on November 27, 2014, 02:28:23 AM

Hormones are basically opposite sex hormones. You for example, have naturally occurring testosterone. Females have estrogens. The goal of cross sex hormone replacement therapy is to get your body running on hormones with that of a female born female. They stop your testosterone from making your body more male and start making your body more female with the use of estrogens and maybe anti androgens. You should get them from an endocrinologist because self medicating can be extremely harmful and can cause major health complications. It is best to tell your parents in my opinion. You should try finding a therapist to talk to about these feelings, more specifically a gender therapist. I come from a small town and there weren't any known gender therapists but my dad had good connections to psychologists and found someone that works with people that have "GID" (icky term). She was extremely helpful in encouraging my transition and she confirmed my feelings.

That's complicated. If I went through puberty and took them as an adult how reversible is it? To make me go back to looking more feminine?

my parents already think I'm gay. And are pretty religious. I don't think they'd be in the least ok with this. They don't know about my costume last Halloween or anything. They wouldn't let me take hormones now. They would say I was crazy and abnormal and need more therapy for the sexual abuse. That's why I asked if there was a way I could get it without them knowing you know?

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 27, 2014, 03:29:35 AM
Ehh. Give yourself another year or two & you'll understand what I mean :p

I guess it's weird but I don't really want that to change and I know when I finish puberty I probably won't have the frame I have now and I really don't want to go in that direction:

Are your parents very conservative? homophobic? very religious? are they emotional stable? like really happy and good people? then I would suggest you tell them

an alternative is that you tell your pediatrician and request his/her help...

ask yourself the following question? If there was a magic pill to change your body, would you take it?
if the answer is yes, then you my dear friend are a person who has a gender identity dysphoria (AKA transgender)

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 27, 2014, 01:40:06 AM
Transgender is when someone feels like they are the opposite sex assigned at birth.

I need to strongly, strongly, strongly, strongly disagree with this. I know you were trying to help, Jasmine, but this is only one of many ways that people experience being transgender.

For example, I've just always wished I could be female. A friend of mind, never "felt" like she was a female. She just felt like being a male wasn't right for her.

My suggestion to Blondie would be to try to find a therapist who deals with trans people - someone who can help unravel what is going wrong with you.