I came up with an Onion type article. I should attempt this more often.
Man Discovers In Shed 30-Year-Old Box Of ->-bleeped-<-s — "I finally have something worthwhile I can give to my neighbor who's been taking ->-bleeped-<-s on my rose garden and tagging my house with Rain-X. Sometimes he even crawls around naked in my yard eating the grass."
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