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What would you say........

Started by MelissaAnn, November 13, 2014, 03:32:24 PM

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JoanneB

Back in the 1960's it wouldn't matter. In fact, the outcome might have been FAR from ideal in those dark days. By the time 1978 came along and I was out of uni maybe... But even then when I twice experimented with transitioning it is hard to say what to say beyond "Work on your self-esteem kid" "Loose the shame" "Stop drinking like a fish"

Between a somewhat dysfunctional family, the pressures being a second generation immigrant kid in a blue collar town of other mainly Eastern European immigrants with either a church, bank, or bar on every street corner so much was far out of my control.
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(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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captains

Oof. Honestly, I'd tell him to sit down and shut up. To learn a little faster how to close his damn mouth, because ain't no one on god's green earth that's impressed with his Precocious TV Child bs. Adults don't think you're cute, kiddo. Adults want to run your hyperlingual little butt through the pasta maker. Not that I blame 'em. I was born annoying.  :D

But I'd also tell him to feel less guilty about all those stories he loved so dearly, the ones with women/girls living as men. Sure, they all did it because of female oppression and he just kind of ... wanted it ... but of all the many things that made him selfish, this wasn't the thing to fixate one. Then I'd tell him that his dog shirt was wicked.

Oh, and reading Joanne's post reminded me: I'd tell him to embrace his first generation life! He was gonna like those little thing that made his family different once he was in college.
- cameron
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missymay

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stephaniec

I grew up in very dark times for transgenders. Did you ever see the movie ' One flew over the cuckoo's  nest '.
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Susan522

When I was that age,  had a great deal of Faith.  I still do; maybe even more so.

I would simply tell my self to keep the Faith.  All will be as it should be.  Oh.  And BTW, this was the mid 1950's.
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ErinReign

I would say to be true to yourself and not care so much about what other people think or how they would react (although I don't think this would have sunk in until a few years later). Also that simply getting good grades is not enough, learn how to learn and challenge yourself.
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celeste-elle

You aren't the only person in the world with these thoughts, hopes, or desires, and you're not a horrible person for having them.

19 / she / usa

"Nevertheless, you lookin' good in that Anthropologie dress..."


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Ayden

Your day is gonna come. Until then, it's okay to be afraid. Things get better, and one day you'll look back at all this and you'll smile and say "I made it".

I would also add, as an afterthought, to lay off the junk food because I'm still working that off, and to stop thinking that the world owes you. The only person in the world that owes you anything is you.
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Cindy

Interesting question.

I'm not sure if I should post this but I'm in a place at the moment that I think I want to.

I was born in the 50's. Being homosexual meant you were locked up in a male prison. Trans* was a myth. "Sex change" was published in lurid newspapers. Doctors and parents had not a clue. Loneliness and fear was life.

What would I tell Cindy from my journey?

Don't do drugs, don't give up, never accept lifts from strangers, don't trust men who say they love you.

Never say never; never give up, never fall into despair. Keep telling her that she is the strongest woman that ever existed and by sheer force of will she can overcome anything.

Tell her that happiness is not a myth, that life does change.

That when she has reached the bottom of despair, when her life is so awful that she can't even kill herself, crawling through the gutters is still moving forward.

Tell her; yes, your name is Cindy.
Be proud young lady.

I might take this down :(



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Jenny07

If I knew what I would have to endure from the age of 9 to now I would have wanted to die in the accident that year. I came so close.

Truly horrible things have faced me every 5 years or so of my life. It has been dreadful to say the least.
Deaths, abuse, grave sickness, betrayal, life changing trauma and the list goes on and on. :'(

Life has not been fun.

Cindy, no shame so don't feel the need to take it down, they were very good words. :icon_hug:
So long and thanks for all the fish
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Rachel

Make them listen, face your fears and do not be ashamed.

I do not think I would have had my addictions if I was able to face my fears then. Then again there were other issues when I was younger that may have had me self medicating.

I have wondered many times how my life would have turned out, what I would have looked like would I have had friends, would I have been happy, and would I have found love. 
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
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big kim

Don't try to fight it,you will be a girl sooner or later.The longer you leave it the harder it will be.No need to be  a brat with a bad attitude because you will fool no one and they saw right through you,try  harder at school and get some better exam results.Don't take the first crap job you see just so you have enough for gas,drugs and booze.Spend more time with your parents as one day they won't be there.Buy that 69 Plymouth Roadrunner for £1500 because today a rough one will cost 10 times as much!
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Susan522

Quote from: Cindy on November 30, 2014, 02:38:23 AM
Interesting question.

I'm not sure if I should post this but I'm in a place at the moment that I think I want to.

I was born in the 50's. Being homosexual meant you were locked up in a male prison. Trans* was a myth. "Sex change" was published in lurid newspapers. Doctors and parents had not a clue. Loneliness and fear was life.

What would I tell Cindy from my journey?

Don't do drugs, don't give up, never accept lifts from strangers, don't trust men who say they love you.

Never say never; never give up, never fall into despair. Keep telling her that she is the strongest woman that ever existed and by sheer force of will she can overcome anything.

Tell her that happiness is not a myth, that life does change.

That when she has reached the bottom of despair, when her life is so awful that she can't even kill herself, crawling through the gutters is still moving forward.

Tell her; yes, your name is Cindy.
Be proud young lady.

I might take this down :(

Why would you take this down?  This is your history.  This how you got to where you are now. This was your journey.  Own it.
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Christine Eryn

DON'T listen to your mom no matter what is what I'd have told myself. ->-bleeped-<-, I wish time travel did exist.  :-\  I would also have trsnsitioned in my early 20s when I had a real chance, instead of being heavy in denial and trying to fight myself.
"There was a sculptor, and he found this stone, a special stone. He dragged it home and he worked on it for months, until he finally finished. When he was ready he showed it to his friends and they said he had created a great statue. And the sculptor said he hadn't created anything, the statue was always there, he just cleared away the small peices." Rambo III
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Luna Star

Take the annoying brat I was on my lap, slap him and tell him to listen and then hug 'him' tightly.

And tell him to allow yourself to be different. That I don't know how things will go work out,but pressure the fact that life will give him a ton of lessons in self-acceptance..., and that he's an adorable girl.

To then vannish :D
Luna, the poet and the digital artist.

Pleased to meet you ;)
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wham-bam-thank-you-mam

"You're not a girl. Skip the whole girly phase in an attempt to fit in. Tell your parents you don't feel like a girl so that they take you seriously later; don't keep it a secret. I know it sucks that you weren't just born a boy, but modern technology can turn you into one. I also know that it's scary, but get a head start; stop trying to be girly to make people happy. Stop posing as a boy on the internet and daydreaming about being a boy and start actually being one."

I'm sure that would have been enough for 12 or 13 year old me, and it would've helped a lot with where I am now.

I wouldn't only talk about being trans, though. I would also talk a lot about emotions and belief systems and making it through high school and all of that.
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Asche

I would have definitely told the 10-year-old (=5th grade) me to get out of that @#$% private school.  Do whatever it takes, and don't listen to anything the adults say.  Because the supposed "educational advantages" are just BS, but the damage it's going to do to you is real.  And permanent.

As for the rest: I would want to take the 10-year-old me in my arms and tell him, "you're all right, it's everyone else who is wrong."  But it might have just made it harder to hang in there for the 5 or so years until my life turned from hell into mere agony.  And if the 10-year-old me had repeated it to the adults around me, because I never could keep my mouth shut, they would probably have made me suffer even more than they already were doing.  The result might have been that I would have actually put my suicidal fantasies into practice.

There are days, even now, when I think that might have been better for all concerned.
"...  I think I'm great just the way I am, and so are you." -- Jazz Jennings



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