Hi.

I was wondering if there were any ways I could help my girlfriend to speed up her passing process. Her family isn't very supportive at all, so that's pretty difficult for both of us. I heard that you can do things like laser hair removal, but I think we might need to wait on that.

Honestly, the last time I saw her, we were going out to dinner together, and she was going to wear a dress, so she had to shave her face in front of me. I offered to leave, but she wanted me to stay and she started tearing up. I just feel so bad.

I want to help her in her transition as much as possible. I really love this girl.

Thanks a lot. <3 <3

I thought we were all loud and clear in the other thread that there isn't any fast solution, as it is a long process. For most people passing doesn't just happen, it takes a lot of work, dedication and time.. One thing would help drastically for example in 6 months. Facial feminization surgery, but yet it is highly recommended to be on hormones for at least a year or two before even considering FFS. And if you start now, you first need money ready, a month or two of minumum time for research, than booking and having consultations, than decision making and payment, than preparing and waiting for your surgery date, and than couple months recovery until the result is closer to final out-come. This is the only thing that would help immediately (among other work on passing) but still takes at least a half of year if you two start taking actions now. There is no shortcuts...

Address the facial hair ASAP.
She should work on the voice.

Those two things consistently get you clocked. The rest of things are negotiable.

Hormones are the answer. Passing will only get harder as long as T is being produced. Female features will not develop without E. Without HRT, anything else she can do will be subverted by her body. A few sessions of therapy are usually required before a doctor will prescribe it, but as long as hormones are not balanced properly, it is a hopeless struggle. I tried for years to be feminine without HRT, and all I have to show for it is a deeper voice, a larger waist, and an almost-bald head. Please do not let her make my mistake.

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 29, 2014, 10:20:24 AM
Address the facial hair ASAP.
She should work on the voice.

Those two things consistently get you clocked. The rest of things are negotiable.

^This

It takes lots of $ to get rid of the facial hair, though it is a priceless investment. I'm very poor, and over the past two years I've been doing electrolysis on myself using a one touch that I modified to take professional needles. It is slow, and it leaves little dots that take a few days to heal, but some day it will all be gone I don't spend too much time doing it - I'm very sporadic, but I would estimate that I've saved a few thousand dollars.

I haven't seriously worked on my voice yet. I've heard too many horror stories about doing it wrong, and am planning to come up with enough money to have surgery to correct my voice within a few years.

mynees is right in saying that there are no shortcuts, but you might be able to help.

I was transitioning steal/in secret for nearly a year before I met my current girlfriend. I had only came out to one person before her. After coming out to her, and getting so much acceptance by her, it helped me move forward. She would buy me clothes etc that she thought I'd like and that would be cute on me. She helped teach me a lot of the things that I would have learned as a child, had I not grown up as a boy.

So... even though there aren't any shortcuts, your acceptance and encouragement can help her move forward faster. I'd also encourage her to start permanently getting rid of the facial hair, as it is a long process and well, for me it was better to have red dots on my face in guy mode than as a girl.

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 29, 2014, 10:20:24 AM
Address the facial hair ASAP.
She should work on the voice.

Those two things consistently get you clocked. The rest of things are negotiable.

This.

[WARNING: POSSIBLE TRIGGER]

[I hope not.]



I don't know if you have the funds available, but you REALLY need to start laser. Imagine if *you* had facial hair - you'd feel so self-conscious going out, especially later in the day when it was starting to grow back. No amount of makeup would make you feel good. My partner and I don't have a lot of money, but it was vital she get laser for her own well-being and peace of mind. And just a few sessions in, she's soooo much happier.

Unfortunately, it IS a drain on the finances.

Also, as the other poster said, if your gf isn't practicing her voice, she needs to start asap. I know with my gf, she said she'd rather be seen to the (largely unknowledgeable) population as a manly girl with a clear female voice than a ->-bleeped-<- with a male voice (since you said in the other thread that your gf isn't passing well at all). Sounds harsh, but that's how a lot of society will see it because they don't have the knowledge to understand what's actually going on. So my gf now has a voice that I find quite lovely and gentle (though she struggles to hear that ), which she can learn to perfect over the years.

Tbh, your gf's voice is probably a huge source of dysphoria for her, so it's best to find ways to alleviate it asap, though it will take years to perfect a natural feminine voice and become comfortable in it, with enough resonance not to sound reedy. And by doing *something* towards her transition (i.e., practising her voice), she will feel like she's going somewhere and starting down the road of transition, which is vital for someone pre-everything. You can help her and give her advice on what sounds okay, cos she'll be lost and lack confidence.

She might want to check out these videos (oldest first): https://www.youtube.com/user/candiFLA/videos?flow=grid&view=0&sort=da


The other thing: HRT. It will make such a difference to her mentally (and, in the case of my gf, it will give her the confidence to be more girly), let alone the physical changes that will occur. And, as another poster said, just be there for her. Your support will give her the confidence she needs to do this in spite of family disapproval and other obstacles.

if your strapped on cash as am i you can get the silk n go flash HPL hair remover it only works on light skin types and you can use it at home. i have it so far its working quite well i definetly smell burning hairs haha. but keep in mind even hair removal takes time as does passing. i recently just found my female voice today actually!!! i managed to flip my vocal cords! im at work and customers are so confused as to how to gender me haha its hilarious. but everything takes time!!! ive been on hormones 6 months and just now am i starting to see noticeable changes you cannot speed it up like a member once told me its not a sprint but a marathon sit back and enjoy the ride : )

From what i've heard injections work quicker than pills. Also, voice! If someone sounds like a girl, people are more like to just assume they're a natal woman. Ummm... teach her to walk like a woman & umm... not sure if you know how to do makeup, but teach her.

Start Laser and psyc counseling, get some HRT, then FFS, 3 months later SRS, 3 months later voice surgery, there you go 10 months tops! that is as fast as it can go... that is assuming you have 50K in the bank...

If you do not, then go to school and get an education or a trade...


More often than not, is not the end but the journey that life is all about... just saying, you know