the more i do and the more i work towards being able to transition and start hrt, the harder its becoming to stand waiting.  my original plans were going to have me stuck waiting another 6-9 months before i would be able to start.  but im finding more and more that im not going to be able to handle waiting that much longer.

thankfully this quarterly bonus at work was a nice one, and holiday pay, and a bunch of overtime i will be getting by the end of the year is allowing me to knock off most of my debt.

hospital debt is now completely paid off, and im down under 1k usd owed to my grandpa that i can easilly pay off over the next year or so.

i put in my request to be scheduled with a hormone clinic that gets run twice a month, and will be added to the list on their first available spot after the first of the year. and will be coming out to my oldest friend, and current roommate at that time.

I wish you the best on your plans.

Day at a time

Hugs

  I remember the waiting time before I committed to pursue the HRT approval process, followed by the waiting time to actually get the approval and start hormones.  The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that I couldn't feel any worse until then.  It was especially difficult because there were things about my condition I couldn't get concrete assurance I could improve with HRT.  I had to get irreversibly deep into the process of coming out and signaling my commitment to transition while going on a lot of hope and blind faith.  There was great risk I wasn't going to feel better in the specific ways that I needed and then come away from the experience looking like a fool.  Thankfully it all worked out better than I'd hoped.

  Now I'm finding that, ready or not, I can hardly wait to go full-time.  I've become comfortable-enough with my identity now that I'm fine with finishing the rest of my transition out in the open.  It's becoming too stressful to hide my change at work and I don't think there's any point now.  I never expected to achieve this state of mind.

  Every step of the way I've reached the next milestone and then sat back for a while and told myself "there's no rush".  Certainly it's important to take transition at a pace that doesn't lead to a mental breakdown but I've always been surprised each time my sense of urgency is renewed and surpasses the progress of my visual presentation.

I thought it would be a good few years before I transitioned but the more I went into it, I figured, "I can do this." It wasn't money. It was just my family life. But I figured that no matter what they are going to see the change and it's better I come out and transition rather than end my life or end up totally depressed for the rest of it.

In any case it's really up to you and you alone.

That said once I started I have been going at a pretty decent clip. I am a very resourceful person and I am very brave so I just pursue my dreams without reservation.

theres a bit of a wait period, but i got scheduled for the hormone clinic, for the middle of february.