So I'll see a therapist in 2 weeks. In the US it seems there are special "gender therapists"
specifically trained in trangender issues (?). In my country there is the psychiatric team for
gender reassignment with doctors, psychologists. etc. That is overkill for me at this stage.
I just want someone to talk to. So I've found this therapist with a specialty in LGBT matters,
sexual identity and problematic sexual expression.

I honestly don't know what to say. I want to find out if I am indeed transgender or not.
But honestly, how do I know if I can trust that person? How did you start your therapy?
Did you just "spill you beans"? I don't even know what I want to achieve. The worst thing
is, I'm very verbal, and I can talk anyone into doing/believing anything. I'm so afraid
all this trans thinking is just some sort of obsession, and that I'll trick my therapist into
believing I'm trans when I'm not. I think I know exactly what to say to make them think
I'm trans. This is what scares me.

I remember when I was depressed and went to the doctor, it ended with him prescribing
exactly the meds I wanted, in the dosages I wanted. I should be a used car salesman hah.
I hope I will not self-deceive myself and then deceive doctors etc.

Wow, I'm really confused.

Just go to the doctor and tell the whole unembellished truth.  Otherwise it's going to be kind of a waste of time.

I had my first appointment about a month ago and I basically just said I am 99% sure that I am transsexual but that I wanted to rule out anything else such as insanity (LOL).  I also said right up front that I wanted to start hormones under a doctor's supervision.

Then be prepared to express all your thoughts and actions on the subject from your earliest memories until now.

Know what you want out of it to and tell the doctor up front.  Do you just want a diagnosis, help with how to cope, a recommendation on what to do?  Or is your mind set on hormones and transition?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I don't know at all what I want.

Then what you are looking for is peace of mind.  Tell the doctor that.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Not knowing what you want is a good reason to see a therapist.

I had the same thoughts that you did when I started seeing my therapist, but it turns out that therapy is nothing like trying to think of things to say when you meet a new person. There is a natural ebb and flow to the conversation, and I was always surprised when my 50 minutes was over. Just be brutally honest with whatever you say. The therapist is there to help you, not to tell you who you are.

When I first started therapy, I told my therapist that I wanted him to help me come to terms with and accept my gender identity. I had an inkling that I was transgender, but wasn't really sure if I wanted to be male, or just be neutral/non-binary. Ask your therapist if s/he has any questions to prompt you with in order to help you uncover your identity.

well, id already been talking to an old friend online about it for almost 6 months, and id already spent almost 4 months, reading everything i could.   

i wrote a small bio (small for me, since when i start writing they turn out to be like, 10+ pages)  i just typed like, 2 page bio/overview of my life and background.  and prefaced it, saying that ive previously had bad experiences with a counselor in the past and dont really like dealing with counselors, therapists, doctors, etc.

and when i went in i pretty much said after some basic conversation said something along the lines of...
"i believe myself to be transgender and intend on transitioning in the near future from male to female.  i do not feel comfortable being a guy and do not feel as though i am capable of being who i truely am as i am now and would like your help with transitioning and with any problems that may arise.  i have no clue what to talk about though, so can you help guide the sessions at first?"

she ended up just asking me a bunch of questions for a while about my past, and what led to my realization, etc.    i hate talking to people, specially about emotional parts of my life, and my past.  specially talking outloud.  especially in person, especially to a therapist i have never met before, when im already uncomfortable around most therapists and such.   so i just asked after i stated my intentions for her help guiding the conversation for a while.

knowing what you want is always a good thing.  if you walk into the session, knowing what you want out of it.  the therapist "should" know, how to guide you to that goal.   for me, by the time i had my first session, i already knew what i needed, and wanted.

When I saw mine, she directed the conversation. She started with why I was there. I told her I was trans and we went from there. I understand that spilling your guts to a stranger doesn't sound like fun, that's why I picked her. I chose her because she was closer to my age. She has a background with LGBT issues, but she's not the LGBT specialist of the group. The specialist is a lot older. I'm sure she would have also been fine, but I was a lot more comfortable with someone closer to my age. Also remember anything you say is confidential.

Be honest with yourself and the therapist. Tell the therapist what you wrote here. You are confused about your gender and need answers. Also that you tend to rationalize and can convince others what you want them to see in yourself.

Only you can answer if you are trans*. The therapist is there to help you identify your gender and what you want to do.

Both of mine just let me talk. They listened mostly and offered helpful suggestions.

Okay, thanks for all the advice. Another fear I have is if it is possible to be trans even though you look 100% deeewd and don't even try to look feminine in everyday life. I try sometimes but ultimately I think to myself "what's the point of even trying, I can never look female" and just quit. Of course, I know it's possible to still be trans. Anyway, thanks and hugs to all the warm people in the world -- I'm talking about you!

Transtastic, how you dress and present does not define your identity. There are hundreds of reasons to present like your assigned gender, and not one of them means you're not / or cannot be trans*.

Even if you decide to transition and  were to go on hrt -- if you prefer masculine clothes you just dress that way!

4 weeks waiting just to talk to a sexologist, 3 months to talk with one WHO is a clinical psychologist. America seems amazing, there are no gender therapists in My country, just the psychiatrist and psychologist  working in a team to establish a diagnosis of transsexualism , and i think it is too early in My process to go for that. I should know myself a little better before that right? B/c Then things Will happen fast and there Will be no Turing back.

Quote from: transtastic on December 06, 2014, 07:43:40 AM
Okay, thanks for all the advice. Another fear I have is if it is possible to be trans even though you look 100% deeewd and don't even try to look feminine in everyday life.

Oh heck yes. Seen the before and after section?