When I first put on my sisters pair of panties when I was 13 years old it was never anything sexual or anything like that, it was just me seeing what it would be like to put on girls panties and then when I did it was like something woke up in me and I was like Holy Crap I think these feel amazing and I just felt like why am I a boy in these boring underwear and clothes and soon I was trying on all her clothes.

Over time I had different reactions to dressing up, I went through my sexual arousal phase where I would get sexually excited wearing the clothes and then once I climaxed I would take off the clothes and just hide them away.

Then it got to the point where I would put on the clothes like now and just wear them all day in the comfort of my room and just do stuff like watch TV or clean my room or etc and it just feels so much more comfortable when I am dressed in feminine clothes. I mean sure sometimes I will look at porn and what not while dressed up but it wasn't because of the clothes themselves that I was aroused, it was because I was doing something on the computer that excited me.

The more I think about being who I am truly supposed to be I have realized that clothes are just what are on the outside. I feel like I am most def transgender and that some day I would love to transition from male to female and someday grow breasts and what not. I think for me its so much more than just dressing up in womans clothes. I mean I always will wear panties and tights or something to bed because that is just more comfortable than underwear. I shave my legs all the time and rub them down with baby oil after a shower each day. I wear panties under my work clothes because they just feel so normal to me and I feel so relaxed.

I think in all honesty I am way more than just a cross dresser and I think when people who do not deal with our issues think a cross dresser is just some guy that likes to dress in womans clothing and thats it, I think there is more soul to it.

What does being a cross dresser mean to you? Are you more than just a CD? Where is your path leading you or where do you want to go?

Just trying to get more insight into this life that we all live

Those categorical names such as crossdresser or transgender are not important.
Do not try hard to be fit into any noun.

I am also sometime aroused by my self-image, even without wearing anything.
Nowadays I mostly wear miniskirt and heels at any place.
It is not easy at all to change your image to other people.
Whatever you may look like in the future, your inner mind would be the same.


Me in today at an aquarium here.



I went there with my little daughter, but she does not like being taken in my photos.



She was very happy as she could touch dolphins by her hands.
And she became proud of me. That's it.

barbie~~

Yes.  It's been a state of mind since I first discovered I had something different going than the other boys.  About age 6 or 7.

You look wonderful Barbie!  Great pictures being out and about.

Quote from: Dani Davis on October 26, 2014, 02:43:11 PM
Yes.  It's been a state of mind since I first discovered I had something different going than the other boys.  About age 6 or 7.

You look wonderful Barbie!  Great pictures being out and about.

Thanks.
Yes. I was the same. I was very sad when I realized that I could not be woman at all at my age of 5 or 6.
I first tried to wear silk stockings at my age of 4 or 5. I expected that they should be fit nicely, but was surprised that they wear so big to be fit into my little legs. Next day, I played with the high heels boots of the lady who stayed at my house. Oh. The silk stockings were hers.

barbie~~

It's interesting that so many of our stories are so similar.  I used to wake up in the morning before anyone else and put my mother's bra and panties on even though they were woefully too big that were in the hall closet and then go back to bed wearing them.  After a few times of doing this my mom started dressing me in my sister's socks, t-shirts and sometimes underwear for school in the morning.  It all seemed natural.  When I was 7-8, my parents gave me a little purse to carry around and I often would wear my moms heels around the house while carrying it.

Clear up until I was 11 or 12 my dad still called me his "little girl".

An interesting life it has been.  I wouldn't change anything.  I like me.  It's been hard at many points, but what life isn't?

Quote from: barbie on October 26, 2014, 02:50:16 PM
Thanks.
Yes. I was the same. I was very sad when I realized that I could not be woman at all at my age of 5 or 6.
I first tried to wear silk stockings at my age of 4 or 5. I expected that they should be fit nicely, but was surprised that they wear so big to be fit into my little legs. Next day, I played with the high heels boots of the lady who stayed at my house. Oh. The silk stockings were hers.

barbie~~

I remember the first time I wore heels. Felt as if I had worn them all my life.

i have no idea where it is leading me. I have recently started to just accept it and enjoy the journey. and as I go forward...I enjoy being Suzanne more and more..the more it feels like myself

Sandy, it is more than just dressing up for me, but defining the meaning of dressing is considerably more difficult to grasp.  Perhaps in time I'll come to understand it and how it fits into the everyday rhythm of life, but until that happens (or doesn't happen which is a distinct possibility) I'll just take one day at a time realizing this part of who I am. 

For some time, it was about being.  The gender dischord was annoying, especially when I couldn't "be", but dressing alleviated that feeling.  I don't feel that way constantly which was one of the main reasons I thought acting on those feelings was a bad idea, especially as this was all new to me.

I go through periods where I experience a dischord and think about my gender a lot and periods where I don't.  I've not had these feelings in almost two months but I still like to dress up.  When the feelings come back, I should have moved out so I can let my female side into more of my life.

But for now (and likely always) I'm comfortable in my body.

Sandy,
I relate to this feeling so much. It's so frustrating to be in no man's land and wondering where you fit in in the grand scheme of things. I know my crossdressing has deeper roots and there is a level of dysphoria. I'm trying to be patient with myself trying to figure out what I truly want in life and I hope that some day you may have that answer too!

For me dressing up gives form to a normally hidden,deep side of my personality.I`m andro,so its a natural feeling for me I guess.I look in the mirror some days when I`m dressed and I feel I never want to  change back.I want to stay being her.Especially if I`ve done a good job with my makeup for once!One thing,i never use breastforms or padding,i`ve never felt the need somehow.And if I could grow my hair out I wouldn't bother with wigs either.

I am finding it increasingly difficult to go back to male clothes .In fact I have started to wear a lot of pink shirts have had both ears pierced started to wear a necklass .I now do not care if my boobs show onder my shirts in fact i try to emphasise them .So far I have not had too many strange looks or comments .even from the wife LOL

It is definitely more than dressing up for me. It always has been. Though I say I'm a crossdresser, I think I'm leaning more and more to the TG. I sleep femme 100% of the time. I'm Gloria in public often. As much as my anxiety allows actually. If I have to go male I'm femme clothes underneath. I think if I wasn't so worried about my work I would be full time.

Quote from: Gloria smiles on November 04, 2014, 08:39:32 AM
It is definitely more than dressing up for me. It always has been. Though I say I'm a crossdresser, I think I'm leaning more and more to the TG. I sleep femme 100% of the time. I'm Gloria in public often. As much as my anxiety allows actually. If I have to go male I'm femme clothes underneath. I think if I wasn't so worried about my work I would be full time.

I can relate with what Gloria Smiles is saying here. Since I was twenty, that's what I've been doing.  Now as for being Gina in public, that didn't start until I was twenty-five.

Quote from: gennee on October 28, 2014, 02:55:56 PM
I remember the first time I wore heels. Felt as if I had worn them all my life.

I remember that day too!  Had been cd'ing for awhile but never wore heels.  Went to a "fetish type" store...was nervous but the saleswoman found my size...slipped on a pair of high heeled pumps and something inside me just went "wow"..I think that was one of those moments when I felt so much like a woman...

Its so much more than dressing up. your whole state of mind changes . you begin to walk talk and behave as you should. once your mind crosses over everything changes;

When I first wore heels it was amazing. instead of walking all funny as a male. I was walking with grace and style as a lady. was a wonderful feeling and will never forget it, At the time I had a girlfriend who was just fab. she transformed me into Jenna. the hours spent wazing. doing nails and make up was great. our girl time together

Shopping and out on the town. we lived as two girls in love. its whats inside you that allows you to become that beautiful person. its what allows Jenna to be here. just crossdressing wouldn't have lasted like this : )

Quote from: Jenna_halfpenny on November 16, 2014, 03:43:03 PM
When I first wore heels it was amazing. instead of walking all funny as a male. I was walking with grace and style as a lady. was a wonderful feeling and will never forget it, At the time I had a girlfriend who was just fab. she transformed me into Jenna. the hours spent wazing. doing nails and make up was great. our girl time together

Yes. Walking on heels is like an acrobatic performance in public. It is thrilling and funny.



I wish to have a girl friend like you, but a lot of women already give me tips on fashion and beauty.

barbie~~

 

Quote from: gennee on October 28, 2014, 02:55:56 PM
I remember the first time I wore heels. Felt as if I had worn them all my life.

I too  ... was wonderful 

It allows me a chance to escape and be happy.  I look in the mirror and smile where I am happy with my identity.  I think the desire to female can transcend the clothes where it is how you want to perceived.  I think more and more I would be happy be a female, shoulder length hair, and not have to put on that much make-up to pass.

I know the feeling, it is so difficult to take off the girl, not just the clothes.
Underdressing helps some.