Only a few times so far, and at least so far something along the lines of "I'm flattered but I'm not available right now" has worked for me. I'm bi so guys or girls work but I don't want to get into a relationship until after SRS and that's still a little ways down the road for me. I might make an exception for "Mr. Right" but it would have to be an exceptional situation, and they'd have to understand my boundaries now versus after SRS.

I think it's important to distinguish between hitting on and being friendly.  Sometimes guys are just being friendly, but then there comes a point where suddenly I get red lights flashing and can see the request for a date coming . . . and sure enough, there it is.  Here are some of my strategies.

Be polite but not encouraging.  Like when I was keeping a friend company while she was moving, the mover wanted to talk to me.  I would use clipped answers to a question so I'd be polite, but not reciprocate any interest in getting to know him.  But sometimes that doesn't work, and I have a bad habit of being really friendly, so . . . .

Try wearing a fake wedding ring or engagement ring.  I have one that cost me about $8.  I don't much like wearing rings so I only wear mine if I am going somewhere I expect to get hit on.  But when I have it, I can put it where it is very visible.  For example, if some guy is seeming flirtatious, I can nonchalantly hold it up near my face where it can be seen, like by covering my mouth briefly, putting hand to lip, or any number of other gestures that look fairly natural, but make the ring unmistakably visible.  But sometimes that does not dissuade, so . . . .

Assess the situation and deal with it as safely as possible.  In the case of helping my friend move, I was checking the closets at the back of the apartment to make sure nothing was forgotten when the mover came into the room, stood between me and the door, and asked me for a date.  He wanted me to call him, oddly enough.  So I just graciously took his phone number, commented on how sweet it was, and left him feeling good so he wouldn't do anything to me while everyone else was busy outside . . . and then I threw it away after I left.  Oh yes, and I did let my friend know what had happened as soon as she came back in. 

Unfortunately, I don't know any women (trans* or cis) who have found a really good solution to unwanted male attention.  And it can be a safety issue.  I was, until my national rating went inactive, one of the top ten female chess players in Maryland.  I've had to stop going to my local chess club because of a guy who is very persistent in asking me for dates and started cyberstalking me.  For a while he friended me on Facebook and I let him.  It didn't last long because every time I posted anything, he'd respond by posting his fantasies about me being over at his house cooking for him and us watching the snow fall together and all sorts of other stuff.  It got to the point where I feel like going back to play chess at the club near me would be either highly awkward or maybe even unsafe.  Neither of those options is appealing. 

Unfortunately, this is part of what women have to navigate and finding good solutions to it is tough.

Kudos to the OP for raising the topic.  This has been a tough one for me to talk about in the trans* community because it is usually not taken seriously as an issue/problem/concern.  The usual reaction has been for people to say that they wish it would happen to them, so they can't imagine it being a problem.  So for all those who may be thinking that . . . Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

Welcome to being a woman, basically.  Not defending the behavior, but there is a lot to put up with when you happen to be female in this world, and this is one of those annoying things.

There was that controversial youtube video a few weeks ago, where that woman showed the world what it was like to be a woman walking in NYC.  It was controversial because men, apparently, felt that she should feel complimented and lucky that they deigned to catcall her.   This is what ur up against.  They don't realize that even a hello from a stranger in certain context can make you feel on display and not just a person just being.

I do like guys, and I still find it annoying.  If I'm in a bar, yes please do hit on me, but if I'm just out and about, I just want to be left alone by strangers.  Unsolicited compliments immediately put me on the defensive, cuz they make me feel like a piece of meat in the midst of wolves.  It is way more intimidating than it is complimentary. Even a "hello" can make me feel that way.  There is a diff btwn hello and hello*wink wink wink*, I usually can tell the diff, but not always.  Would prefer to be left alone by rando straight guys, outside of the proper context aka a bar or on a date or dating site.

So if a guy doesn't go to bars or use dating sites, he is sol?  Sounds a bit extreme and unrealistic to me.

Quote from: Kylie on December 08, 2014, 12:38:19 PM
So if a guy doesn't go to bars or use dating sites, he is sol?  Sounds a bit extreme and unrealistic to me.

In a perfect world, yes.   Not realistic, just the way I wish it was.  I don't go to the grocery store to find a man.

I haven't been out long, so I haven't had to deal with this as a woman. I still seem to attract all the creeps, though, since everyone seems to pick up that I'm bi. I honestly always hate it when random people try to hit on me. Unless it's someone I'm comfortable with (which is never the case), I really don't even want to talk to them. I would feel bad for shutting people down if I weren't so creeped out by them. I'm sorry I have social anxiety problems, but I'm not going to get over it just because they are interested. They should save both of us some time and pain by just going about their business.

Quote from: BunnyBee on December 08, 2014, 12:49:51 PM
I don't go to the grocery store to find a man.

lol, exactly!

I'm only 2 weeks HRT so it hasn't happened yet, but even though I'm a lesbian I'm looking forward to it. No I'm not interested in them, but having them interested in me would be a big ego boost.

I am often downright cruel to any man who tries to approach me on the street.  VERY RARELY are these guys just being friendly or trying to pay a sincere compliment and not looking for anything in return.  As a woman you have to assume that men approaching you like this are going to be annoying at best and potentially dangerous at worst.

As far as noteworthy pick-up attempts go these two stand out in my memory:
1.  An elderly man who approached me in the grocery store and asked how much t would cost him to be intimate with me.
2.  A man who followed me in his car as I was walking down the street for a few blocks, driving past me, turning around, driving past again, puling over to the side of the road ahead of me and waiting for me to walk by (instead I crossed the street) and then pulling partially into a cross street as I tried to cross that one, blocking my path and forcing me to interact with him.  During all of this he kept yelling out his window trying to get me to into his car ("Do you need a ride anywhere??").  This was the experience that inspired me to start carrying pepper spray.

Quote from: spooky on December 08, 2014, 05:12:50 PM
I am often downright cruel to any man who tries to approach me on the street.  VERY RARELY are these guys just being friendly or trying to pay a sincere compliment and not looking for anything in return.  As a woman you have to assume that men approaching you like this are going to be annoying at best and potentially dangerous at worst.

As far as noteworthy pick-up attempts go these two stand out in my memory:
1.  An elderly man who approached me in the grocery store and asked how much t would cost him to be intimate with me.
2.  A man who followed me in his car as I was walking down the street for a few blocks, driving past me, turning around, driving past again, puling over to the side of the road ahead of me and waiting for me to walk by (instead I crossed the street) and then pulling partially into a cross street as I tried to cross that one, blocking my path and forcing me to interact with him.  During all of this he kept yelling out his window trying to get me to into his car ("Do you need a ride anywhere??").  This was the experience that inspired me to start carrying pepper spray.

That is terrifying .  I am thankful you came out of it safely.

Quote from: Hanazono on December 08, 2014, 07:41:37 PM
I try to discourage attention by dressing frumpy. nobody is interested me when I look like I'm heading to the market to buy fish. except the fishmonger.

It's not up to us to dress in bags to avoid harassment or assault.  The ownership of the bad behavior is on the person doing it, 100%.

You want to know the most embarrassing way I've been hit on, if you call it being hit on, more like confirming how pervy guys are.  I was driving down the road in a semi truck..ya, a semi truck, doing 65 mph and slowly passed another truck.  Apparently the guy saw me as I was dressed quite cute and makeup right this day.  He sped up and got side by side with my truck and stayed there letting his jake brake slow him down to keep by my window.  I could feel the heat in my face starting to rise and glanced to my right.  He was motioning to his hand where a ring would be and I shook my head no.  He then holds up a condom and motions forward as if saying lets f**k at the rest area up ahead.  I was soooo embarrassed I started shaking my head no and was waving for him to pass me.  He took off really quick and out of site.  After 30 minutes I see him coming up on my left and went red and started blushing once again as I knew this guy was persistent.  He must have pulled off at the rest area and waited for me to pass and catch back up.  I looked to my left and he was smiling at me and pointing down at his crotch in a gesture saying he wanted me to give him head Ó.ò ...you got to be kidding me, so hiding my face and blushing I waved him to go for a couple minutes and he left again.  That!!! Is my craziest moment being "hit on" so far.  Damn the guys can be pigs and stubborn at the same time.

Yea, that's exactly why I carry pepper spray and my buck knife on me. I'm training to be a truck driver and already I have had a guy do some creepy stuff. Driving in my car I once had a truck pass me with a co-driver leering at me. I ain't that pretty. So these drivers must be desperate in some cases. Lol.