My girlfriend of 11 months knew that I liked to crossdress, but recently I finally came out fully and told her what it means to me. Sadly, this doesn't go down well.

She can't accept how I feel, she is trying her best but it is not working. She is trying to respect it but she says how she is now "weirded out" by me coming out, and she is offering no support what so ever. I cannot talk to her about how I feel because it makes her feel uncomfortable, and the fact that I get no support from her really hurts.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone else had this experience?

I had a sort of similar experience at one point (but maybe too different for comparison).

Some women are just not accepting of this. If she says she is trying to be accepting, then maybe she might come around at some point. I think that such a revelation can trigger a wide range of emotions that mostly result from not understanding crossdressing. She might be questioning herself now or having a sort of identity crisis. She might have adopted a lot of negative stereotypes from the media. She might have just liked thinking of you as masculine. There is also the element of trust. If she feels like she doesn't really know you (or didn't up until now), that might damage trust in your relationship.

I think at some point you need to have an open talk with her about this and try to listen to her thoughts, feelings, and views on it without judging or interrupting. Then afterward, she'll hopefully be willing to do the same for you and you'll be able to talk about it productively for better or worse. The best time would be after you've both had something decent to eat and when you're both not tired. Honestly, your relationship might be shot, but it sounds like it is worth trying to save. Crossdressing wouldn't be a big deal if men and women were truly equal in society.

In my case, my (now ex) girlfriend accused me of being gay. So there was a big issue with her thinking I was secretly gay and not attracted to her.

Thank you for the reply, Mara.

I'm hoping our relationship isn't broken, as its the only thing I have really. I have tried to talk to her plenty of times, just yesterday we had another sit down about it, but she is very unwilling to talk about it and listen to me about it.  Her exact words to me one day were: "I don't want to date a girl I want to date a guy" and told me if I ever went full trans (no plans yet) she would leave me.

I hate to be the one to say it, but if she is weird-ed out by out and just cannot come around to it. Even if she does one day she isn't really going to be accepting it but is going to be "dealing" with it. And I'll put a strain on your relationship.

Some people are just this way, they can't understand or comprehend it so they try to ignore it and once the cat's out of the bag with something like this, it's hard to put it back in.

I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but you either have the choice of telling her you'll stop and forget about it, or embrace it behind her back and don't tell her about it, or leave her. (This is my opinion and I suggest thinking things through before making any decisions)

I hope you're okay, if you ever want to just chat I'm always an open ear. Feel free to message me on KiK, skype, PM or whatever.

Much love,
Amber <3

Its hard, but atm I embrace it behind her back, and I think ill have to continue that. I do love her, but I'm not going to give up myself or who i am just because it"weirds" her out. I'm me. I personally think that she has to get used to it or risk losing me, sadly

If I may say something which will sound harsh.

If you are transgender and she is a straight female it is unconscionable to pretend to her that you are a man and possibly ruin her life, her dreams and her desires.

If you are TG it does not go away. It cannot be ignored.

What will you do when the children start to arrive?

At the moment, I'm simply a crossdresser. I am not ready to go trans, and i am not sure if I will yet.

save yourself the future heartache, time to move on.

Give her a little time but be prepared to move on. Emphasis on "a little"

I'm really sorry, Laura.

That sounds really tough, but in the end you can't force her to accept you. She has a right to have her own preferences and desires. And you can't hide this from her and expect to have a long term sustainable relationship.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like to discuss.

Hugs.

Thanks for all your support.

Bit of an update, we haven't had a row about it for a while now, and I have had a few talks but no arguments, so I think that's a sign of improvement