Hi!

I've been invited by a friend to come on a religious retreat in January. He's Catholic, but from what I can tell the group is fairly ecumenical. I've been slightly involved in the group for about a year and was hoping to become more involved as he sets up a branch in our city.

I haven't come out to him yet but feel like I probably should before agreeing to go on the retreat. Assuming he doesn't decide he doesn't want me involved any more, I was going to make some suggestions to him about how he can ensure the event is more inclusive. I guess my main concern is the sleeping arrangements and any activities that separate men and women, but there may be other things I haven't thought of.

Do any of you have any experiences of going on retreats? And any advice or things I should make sure I sort out in advance?

I went on a Catholic retreat a couple months ago. Nobody knew I was trans. I even slept in the female cottage. It was beautiful, and the priest who I told was accepting. I'm not sure about your situation, but if you're trans, and passable, you have no reason to tell, unless you feel it will make you feel more comfortable.

Update: They have said they won't be able to provide facilities for me (I had said that I would want either gender neutral toilets or to be allowed to use the gents, and the same with accommodation) but my friend has said he still wants me to feel welcome at future events in our area!