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embarrased!

Started by jossef-ftm, December 11, 2014, 08:36:56 AM

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jossef-ftm

how you guys been treated before T i mean in public when people look at you and think you are a lesbian , using the wrong pronouns or some think you are a gay guy (happened with me before) or when you go to school or be in contact with people that you dont know!! how they react!! i live in an arabic country where no lgbt rights i'm not on T yet but i pass 100% even my voice do... i dont look like a butch i look 100% male so everywhere i go even to buy stuffs or somewhere where i need to show my id i get embarrassed and people laugh, surprise or fear me!!i always get embarrassed, people here kinda accept a lesbian/butch cause for them in the end she's just a fool girl need a man (the arabic thinking) but when you are a man then that the biggest problem and be ready for the 3 world war..i'm tired of being embarrassed i hate go out even to buy food or clothes i always send someone to do it, did you guys felt like this before and how you acted!! any solution to live normally without be embarrassed every time!!?
Sometimes, it's hard to find words to tell you how much you mean to me. A lot of times, I don't say anything at all. But I hope someday, you'll understand, having you is what I live for...(I Love you my Queen )
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Natkat

I did not pass 100% before T. I was more androgynous but there was alot of "wow your a girl" or "wow your a guy" I tried avoiding most of it by just hanging out with friends I already knew who respected me and how I felt and not so much with strangers. Sure this was imposible to avoid people 100% but it helped much to at least having 1 person which I knew I could trust on these, and which I could complain and went to when people gave me bad reactions.
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Now when I pass pretty much people typically belive im gay, I dont get the annoying misgendering so often, and when I get misgenderen its "sorry i didnt knew you where a guy" insteed of "sorry I didnt knew you where a girl.(still really annoying)

But I still rather androgynous and living and studing with many people of the middle east it somehow fell more insecure. As you said girls are never taking seriously neither in the western or arabic world because a woman being manly is simple a tomboy, someone who will grow out of it, or something along the line.
When me and a female both said we where bi in the class, one of the guys (from Iran which is pretty homophobic) keep speaking to her like she is a hetrosexual person, while with me he speak to me as being gay.

So I feel while people took me less serious as a women people do feel "attacked" for me being a guy. I am not sure how to explain it. I have not been physically attacked but I have got alot comments and the look. I do however think being white give me alot of less trouble.
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how to avoid it im not sure, in some situations I have showed my ID fast as posible or hidden the gender mark while I show it(like I hold my fingers over it when I hold it. this have somethimes succeded if I am to show someone the ID and they dont really go into details, othertimes I cant avoid them quickly and when they ask questions I somethimes just say that the goverment made a mistake with my ID and I am trying to get it fixed.


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darkblade

Hey dude, I'm also arab but still not at the point where I'd have to face the situation you're in, but I assume it's coming.. Don't really have much advice to give but are you sure you can't legally get your gender changed? I don't know where you're from but I've heard that my country is "open to the thought," they just don't have a process for all this stuff.
I'm trying to be somebody, I'm not trying to be somebody else.
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