I've only dated heterosexual men, since the beginning.  High school, college, in all phases of my life. I only disclosed my 'twixt the legs' status if I was really interested in the person and felt it could go somewhere. When young, there were the few one nighters just out of curiosity or ... hmm.. horniness :-)    What I've found fascinating is that none said no, or were turned off or negative.  One did try to use 'mysecret' against me to keep me in the relationship but it did not work (I've posted that story). First husband was so understanding; but it was a foolish mistake to marry so young.  Present husband, I met on line quite by accident. I disclosed on line.  The rest is history -- when we met it was a "there you are!!" moment.  I am still preop, but looking forward to the confirmation day, but not in haste or extreme desire. It will simply be considered a touchup for me.

Life is grand, just go out and live it is what I say.

Early on in transition I fell into the trap of thinking that I had to settle for whatever I could get.  This led me into a string of relationships that were no good for me. 

It took a while for me to realize that good guys are out there, are interested in someone like me, and aren't going to disappear after taking me to bed. 

I'm currently in the longest relationship I've ever had with a very very sweet and good trans-attracted guy.

I suspect I could get into a relationship if I want, but I'm not willing to settle on a lot of issues. I think this is part of why my dating life is dead. Of course it also doesn't help that most of the girls that meet the criteria of what I want either have cats (I'm allergic) or do drugs. Drugs are unacceptable as I'm in a government job where they periodically evaluate my life to make sure I'm worthy of employment. I've heard its mostly financially related, but I don't want to be involved with druggies just in case.

They're out there sweetie and they are a jewel once you find them.  I was lucky to find my boy toy before I transitioned, and he's hetro.  He likes to privately CD so its really a good match for us because I don't care, in fact, told him I'll dress him up like a girl all cute, pretty, and prim xD

I'm talking to a guy on OK Cupid and we're probably going out this weekend I'm really getting nervous if I should tell him before going out or go out first. I'd feel bad if he spent money and wasn't interested after finding out I guess, but it's been over a year since my wife and I got separated even though we live together. She's aware of all of this we're living together but considering ourselves still separated, she helped me fix my profile on the dating site.

I got swamped with guys early on in my transition, lol. It helped my self-esteem a lot. At first I was all about hooking-up, but I realized a lot of them legitimately liked me, so I could get away with actually dating them. My current boyfriend didn't know I was trans at first but I quickly told him and he was still cool with it so we went on a date. Almost 4 months later we're still together, and he's been very accepting. It's stressful at times because he doesn't hardly interact with what I've got down there... Not that I really get much pleasure from it anymore, but still.. He'll rub outside my panties but only briefly.. so it's more of a tease than anything. Still, I guess I'm just glad he's not weirded out by it. Sex seems to be fine though, he has no problems getting aroused around me.

I do talk to other guys though... It's just how I am, I'm very social and a big flirt, and he knows it. But most of the guys I talk to are bi, which I'm fine with, but it makes them more inclined to like what's down there and want to interact with it. I guess I have mixed feelings about that. Acceptance of it is nice but actively wanting it is a bit awkward... I guess in a way it's going to be a bit strange no matter what gender/sex I'm with or what their orientation is.

I have never had a problem with men . I have always been upfront with the transgender topic right from the beginning as I believe honesty is the best for a relationship. it shocks me when some trans prefer not to say ..... and then wonder why things don't work out in the end. I know I wouldn't want my BF or husband being with me and him lying about something very important like that . If I cant trust him from the beginning then I cant trust him at all.

But that is just personal opinion .

Also what I did for on-line dating was gave them a time limit... if they were willing to talk with no hookups , no sex chat , no  nude pics etc .....  JUST FRIENDS ! and no intention to hook up.... after 1 year then I would eventually meet them ( of course they don't know that lol ) I figure if they were willing to put the time into getting to really know me and cared about me then they were worth it ( The douche-bags usually give up within a month lol )  . Turns out i was right .... I met someone who ended up being my best friend and treats me like I am his world going on 6 years now ...and wouldn't trade it for anything

Non-op girls who get hit on by a straight male every so often,
how soon after telling him you are trans do you tell him that you will never get " the operation " ? How much of a problem has he made from the fact that you do not want the operation for whatever reason?
To those non-op girls who dated a straight male : has there ever been a strain on the relationship for you not having a vagina?

I'm asking about non-op girls, those who never intend to get the surgery, not those who are going to have surgery but lived pre-op for a while. Specifically interested in the experiences of those who are non-op by choice.

I agree that it is possible to find someone.  I've been with the same guy for 15 years now.  Bitd it was much more difficult because fewer people knew what a trans person was.  That said, I seem to have had a fairly good dating life with men or women.  My policy was always to reveal before anything intimate.  I never had a problem, but once at at a club a friend was chased into the ladies room.  The ladies room attendent got security to evict the dude and his friends.  So those types are or were out there.

Personally, I would avoid places where specific "->-bleeped-<-" types congregate.  For instance, in NYC the trans party scene is full of the type of "->-bleeped-<-" types who fetishize your pre-op junk.  You will find nothing but misery there.   Bitd I had a lot of luck at clubs that were mixed-meaning lgbt & str8s.    My policy was always to reveal before anything gets intimate.