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Hello!

Started by Maxwell, December 13, 2014, 07:52:05 AM

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Maxwell

I thought it would be nice to say hello, because I'm new. :)
I've been watching this site and browsing through it for a while for a few months and finally
worked up the guts to sign up. I hope I can help a few and get a bit of help after reading how nice
you guys are for a while.
Good-day.  ;D
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CursedFireDean






Check me out on instagram @flammamajor
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adrian

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Maxwell

Thanks Dean and Adrian! I hope we can become good friends.  :)
(Sorry I don't know how to reply to someone specifically.)
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nguoiviet

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Maxwell

hello nguo!
Wassup with you?
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Marcellow

Welcome to Susan's in that case, Maxwell.
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Maxwell

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Maxwell

Thanks everyone for being so kind! But I have a question that my parents are concerned about, they are scared that
I might start transitioning 'too soon' or I will regret it later on. What is your guys opinions on this? When do you think
is 'too soon'?
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adrian

Do you want to tell us how old you are, Maxwell? You don't have to. Did you see there's also a youth board here?

There's no good answer concerning the best age to transition -- it's important to think things through very thoroughly and get support from a therapist to help you work things out. There's definitely a "too early" (that doesn't have to do with age though, just with being ready) but never a too late :).

I think you will know yourself when it's time and if you are sure. Some of us have known all their life. Some of us didn't. We all have doubts and question what we're doing from time to time. There will be phases when you will wake up at night and be like "what the neck am I doing?" If that happens, just take things slow. And talk to friends, your therapist, us :).

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Maxwell

#10
Quote from: adrian on December 13, 2014, 01:58:29 PM
Do you want to tell us how old you are, Maxwell? You don't have to. Did you see there's also a youth board here?

There's no good answer concerning the best age to transition -- it's important to think things through very thoroughly and get support from a therapist to help you work things out. There's definitely a "too early" (that doesn't have to do with age though, just with being ready) but never a too late :).

I think you will know yourself when it's time and if you are sure. Some of us have known all their life. Some of us didn't. We all have doubts and question what we're doing from time to time. There will be phases when you will wake up at night and be like "what the neck am I doing?" If that happens, just take things slow. And talk to friends, your therapist, us :).
I thank you for your support  :) I am a minor coming , my mother said if I still wanted to I could
go to a gender therapist for T (My current therapist of about 6-7 years doesn't have the credentials to approve it) But I know it
will take up to a year to get the letter for it. I have been over this many times, but when I have 'doubts' I always remember
how I feel looking in the mirror/changing, or school when they separate the sexes how I feel. Sorry for the wall of text. :P
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adrian

I'm really happy your parents are supportive! That's great :).

Have you discussed switching to a gender therapist with your current one? Also, I don't know much about puberty blockers, but would those be an option still? I'm too old to still know how long puberty takes and specifically how long the m00bs continue to grow, but if you could stop that development before making the decision to go on t, that would be something. But as I said, I don't know anything about blockers really -- this should be discussed with an endocrinologist. Depending on which country you live in, there can also be differences as to how early you could go on t.
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Maxwell

Quote from: adrian on December 13, 2014, 02:31:59 PM
I'm really happy your parents are supportive! That's great :).

Have you discussed switching to a gender therapist with your current one? Also, I don't know much about puberty blockers, but would those be an option still? I'm too old to still know how long puberty takes and specifically how long the m00bs continue to grow, but if you could stop that development before making the decision to go on t, that would be something. But as I said, I don't know anything about blockers really -- this should be discussed with an endocrinologist. Depending on which country you live in, there can also be differences as to how early you could go on t.
Puberty blockers would be too soon, as unfortunately my puberty has already been going on for a few years... I really like my therapist
of a 6/7 yrs the problem is I would have to go to a 'certified' gender therapist I believe but don't really know how that goes down,
as it hasn't been fully explained to me. I live in the U.S.A. btw.  ;D
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adrian

I'm in Europe, so I don't really know how things work in the US -- but some others here definitely will :). You may have to open a new thread if you have more specific questions, though, as folks won't be able to see from the subject of this one that you have more questions.
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Maxwell

Quote from: adrian on December 13, 2014, 02:42:09 PM
I'm in Europe, so I don't really know how things work in the US -- but some others here definitely will :). You may have to open a new thread if you have more specific questions, though, as folks won't be able to see from the subject of this one that you have more questions.
Yes, I might have to open a new thread. thanks! The only problem is I don't want to be seen as too excited,
I never really get to talk about this a lot as my family is quite new to this. They are awkward and don't really understand anything
because they don't like to bring it up. :-\
Also I really don't wanna mess this up or get annoying..  :embarrassed:
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adrian

Ah, don't worry about that. We're happy for every new member in our family. Post away! And as I mentioned, check out the youth board as well -- there's an introductions thread there. It's quite new, so I think it's not super busy yet, but it'll catch up. And of course, you're welcome on this board as well :).

And did I say you have every right to be excited :D
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Maxwell

Quote from: adrian on December 13, 2014, 02:56:39 PM
Ah, don't worry about that. We're happy for every new member in our family. Post away! And as I mentioned, check out the youth board as well -- there's an introductions thread there. It's quite new, so I think it's not super busy yet, but it'll catch up. And of course, you're welcome on this board as well :).

And did I say you have every right to be excited :D
Thanks! Will do, and I'm happy to belong somewhere! :D
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adrian

Quote from: Maxwell on December 13, 2014, 02:59:02 PM
Thanks! Will do, and I'm happy to belong somewhere! :D
Ha, yeah, I can relate to that feeling (only it took me much longer to figure out WHERE I belong [emoji16] [emoji16]
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Maxwell

Quote from: adrian on December 13, 2014, 03:00:17 PM
Ha, yeah, I can relate to that feeling (only it took me much longer to figure out WHERE I belong [emoji16] [emoji16]
Just created a new topic, and where is this youth board?
Thanks for all the help!
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Bran

Welcome! And I think it's great that you're working on this when you're still so young. Lots of us were not so fortunate (or so wise!)

About your parents' concerns, whether you might start too soon and regret it-- I won't lie, some people do. And, from what I've seen the ones that start early are a little more likely to regret it.  But the vast majority of trans folks don't regret it, and wish they'd started earlier.  It's also worth remembering that, just because someone regrets a decision, doesn't necessarily mean that they should have made a different one.  Nobody knows what life would be like if they made different choices.  Part of the reason people who transition later are less likely to regret it is that years of dysphoria have showed them what the alternative is.  If you transition early, you don't risk spending part of your adulthood living with gender dysphoria.  But that also means you might underestimate how bad it would have been. 

There's a price for waiting, too.  Some of that price is social or emotional, but some of it's also biological.  Physical transition is harder the older you get, though trans guys have it easier in this respect than trans women do.  Even if you don't start T for a while yet, there are things that can make your body better prepared for it. 

A gender therapist would almost certainly be glad to talk with your parents and you together, to help them understand what you're going through.  I'd also recommend you think of therapy as being something you can do to help your transition, instead of just something you can do to get T.  Growing up trans is hard, and we've all got some baggage that we could use some help in dealing with.  And, on the off chance that you're someone who might regret transitioning (like I said, not likely, but still worth keeping in mind), therapy can head this off. 

Welcome and good luck!
***
Light is the left hand of darkness
and darkness the right hand of light.

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